Closing scene—comments welcome
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Hi all, Here's a pretty developed sketch of the closing scene for a book. The wagon they're camping next to is vibrantly colored (see second image). I would love feedback on how to improve this watercolor painting.
Thank you so much!!!
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@JessicaLinnEvans oh my goodness that forest one is beautiful!
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@Asyas_illos Oh! Thank you!
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@JessicaLinnEvans Lovely work! You've really nailed how to paint birch trees! That said, I find they are sort of the main draw... my eye is immediately focused on all those trees and the black crow against that bright yellow patch of leaves.
I'm not sure if the crow is meant to be the focal point, and if not then I think it's worth defining what is - is it the wagon? If so, for me the wagon doesn't stand out as much as I think you want it to... which could be fixed with making it much brighter and it's surroundings darker to give it the contrast it needs to stand out.
I hope this is helpful
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@JessicaLinnEvans Aw, I love the serene moods. And nice job on the wagon design!
I think knocking back the contrast of the background could help the characters come forward in the visual hierarchy. I hope you don’t mind that I did some quick layers on top of your painting. Idk about the result, but here’s what I did:
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The transition of ground color switches suddenly from green on the hill to beige between the trees. I think it makes the scene look a little disjointed. I added some of the green to the beige and some of the beige to the green.
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The shadows behind the donkey are some of the highest contrast, sharpest shapes, so my eye goes there first, and for example the crow gets lost. I made them more similar to the light colored ground around it. Same with the dark tree trunks.
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To help the colors of the characters stand out and add to the night-time feeling, I took the dark blue color from the sky, and painted over the whole picture on a semi-transparent layer, excluding just the characters and the moon.
I really like how you did the watercolor washes, that is so hard to do!!
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@LouD Thank you so much! That is very helpful! Hopefully, I'll show the finished piece to an agent in June so I needed another set of artistic eyes. Thank you for the feedback!
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@Anushka-Singh I think so!
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@JessicaLinnEvans beautiful rendering of the forest!
In reference to your closing scene: very dreamily rendered and a nice soothing "the end". Also, it seems you've left plenty of room for text, which is great.
What is the story you're trying to convey? Is there a main character or focal point?
Some things to consider:
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The composition. It seems to be split almost directly down the middle because the trees abruptly end. It feels like the left side is a forest scene and the right a meadow scene. See below -- I took a screenshot and overlaid it with a template guide to give us a visual of where bleed, margins, and gutter would fall. The crow also falls almost directly in the middle of the left side. Could it be moved to a different spot, perhaps touching the donkey so that it's not the only character who isn't touching the others? Just a thought.
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Value. What does the illustration look like when we take away color? As you see, it mainly falls into the midrange. The areas of highest contrast are often the focal point, which seem to be the tortoise & crow, the donkey, and of course the moon. Is that what you want the reader to look at first?
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Bring more focus to the characters with value. Since this is a nighttime scene, think about making it darker. Then use the moonlight to light the characters, which will make the background fade into the ... background. Following is just one example of how that might be done (both in color and black & white.)
- Add some visual interest and cohesiveness with more background and foreground. Maybe the trees could curve around and disappear over the hill ... Maybe there is another grove of trees on the horizon in the far right... Maybe there are a few grasses interspersed around the characters and trees, and a little larger in the foreground, to frame the scene...
Again, these are just my thoughts. Take this feedback with a grain of salt -- there are so many ways to approach an illustration! This is what I saw and some questions that I had regarding this beautiful scene. Looking forward to seeing where you go with it!
illustrator - author - smiley person
mbaileyart.com
instagram.com/mbaileyart/ -
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@Melissa_Bailey Wow! This is all very wonderful and thoughtful feedback! Thank you so much for taking the time to point out all those improvements! Seriously helpful!
They are camping at the edge of the forest. It's after a very long busy day (they are an acting troupe) where many things went wrong in a comedy of errors, but it ends okay and they are all nodding off to sleep one by one and the donkey is last.
Anyway, thanks again so much for all your help! It is greatly appreciated!
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@JessicaLinnEvans you're so welcome! Please let us know how it goes.
