I have cancer.

Michael Angelo Go

Hey everybody, it has been a very rough year for me. I was diagnosed with several disorders. Fibromyalgia, Fatty Liver Disease, Secondary Hypertension, and Papillary Thyroid Cancer.

LEFT THYROID LOBE FINE NEEDLE ASPIRATION:

SUSPICIOUS FOR PAPILLARY THYROID CARCINOMA, BETHESDA CATEGORY V (SEE COMMENT) COMMENT: The fine needle aspiration smears show small papillary appearing groups of thyroid follicular epithelial cells some showing enlarged nuclei with nuclear grooves and pseudoinclusions. The overall findings are suspicious for papillary thyroid carcinoma.

This is really soul-crushing. For five years, I have been dealing with unexplained weight problems, blood pressure problems, frequent homelessness, and mental health issues. Now that I know that my thyroid is going to get removed, and I might have to take medicine everyday for the rest of my life makes me feel like nothing but hopelessness. Even worse, the type of day jobs I rely on to support my art hobbies don't really promote a healthy lifestyle, so I probably have to stop working altogether or struggle to find a decent job that would properly assist my condition.

I might an art series to express the pain of losing my thyroid to cancer. I have been really inspired by surrealist art recently, so it would be a fun experiment.

We haven't scheduled the surgery yet, but I don't want to jump so quickly to life-changing procedures. I am speaking with a counselor and an herbalist to help me cope with the situation.

JennyJones

I am so sorry to hear this for you. I will say a prayer for you right now and ask for healing and direction. I’m glad you are speaking to a counselor. That will help. If you are feeling inspired, then throw yourself at art. Art is life-giving for so many of us! Hopefully it will be a great outlet for you too.

Larue

I'm so sorry that you were given this news. I can't even imagine what you must be going through and how your mind must be racing all over the place with this new information. I think art would be a great means of "releasing some fears and anxieties. Prayers in on my end. Take it one day at a time and hopefully you'll find your way out of this and into a brighter future.

KathrynAdebayo

Hi Michael,

This is your art family at SVS, and as your art sister, I'm sorry to hear of this news. I'm glad you shared it with us because even people who don't comment are going to see your post and send good wishes your way.

The gold most heated in the fire becomes the most pure. The tree that is trimmed and pruned produces the most fruit. The earth plowed by the farmer will produce a good harvest.

Your life has been hard, but I wish you an experience like that of the gold in the fire. Please lean on us for support when you need it, and if you make that art series, feel free to share it here.

Sending best wishes and support for your experience with this big challenge!

JessicaLinnEvans

@Michael-Angelo-Go I'm very sorry for this painful trial in your life. My mother had Graves' Disease (hyperthyroid) when I was very young. She had her thyroid removed several times and it kept growing back. As a result, she had to have radiation done on her thyroid for permanent removal. She has had to take medication every day for nearly 50 years.

It is definitely a great hardship to experience, but it is not impossible to overcome. I will also pray for you—that you are able to find the grace and peace you need to get through this trial to the other side.

Melissa_Bailey

@Michael-Angelo-Go very sorry to hear you've been going through a rough time, and still have storms to weather.

Maybe sharing something that has helped me might help you too (from a picture book, of all unlikely places!) -- "We can't go over it. We can't go under it. We've got to go through it!" Sometimes, as much as we want our problems to disappear or want to sidestep them, we've got to go through it, and we can! That little reminder has helped me go through tough times, and I hope it gives you some strength to keep on going, too.

Remember: all trials have an expiration date. They won't last forever!

Wishing you all the best and a speedy recovery! ️

NessIllustration

@Michael-Angelo-Go I'm so, so sorry to hear that Michael But I'm relieved that you learned this early enough that you will survive it. Although soul crushing, the diagnosis is the beginning of hope. You were already dealing with cancer before, you just didn't know it. Now that you have a diagnosis, your doctors can attack the problem. And you can finally adjust your life accordingly.

There ARE, more than ever, many possibilities to earn a living in a way that can accommodate a healthier and more relaxed lifestyle. You can do remote work from the comfort of your home, for instance as a virtual assistant.

You can also create a whole host of digital products that can make passive income: from templates to Excel dashboard, courses, coaching and anything in between. For example I created a digital journal to track my IBS symptoms, and I'm now looking at trying to sell it so other people can use it too. It's possible to make 5-figure months by running Facebook ads to digital products like this.

You may not be interested in any of those examples I listed but the point is: there ARE options. You CAN make this work and be able to make a living while not overworking your body. Don't despair just yet!

Jeremy Ross

So sorry to hear that @Michael-Angelo-Go.

Sending prayers and well wishes your way for a speedy recovery. It’s good you discovered this now and have time on your side.

I’m sure many of us have either personally dealt with something similar or have close family members that have. Regardless, it’s devastating; hopefully you have close family to receive lots of love and support from.

Wishing you well friend.

HeatherB

I’m really sorry to hear this, please have hope! I wish I had more to offer than my thoughts for you. I know that science is making progress every day!

Nyrryl Cadiz

@Michael-Angelo-Go I'm so sorry to hear that Michael. i'm sending you all my prayers.

Beatriz

@Michael-Angelo-Go I never post nor comment here… but today I need to tell you I know what you are going through. I had ovarian cancer 4 years ago. Very emotional situation as I dealt with the idea of loosing a part of me too. I got surgery very soon, and thank God chances of recurrence are the lowest possible. Please don’t delay treatment. The sooner you do, the better chances of good quality of life for the rest of your life you have. I also dealt with mental illness earlier in life… almost 20 years ago. I can only say searching for Gods face was the factor that brought me back to health. Please don’t loose hope. Search for your creator. Don’t walk away from people nor things your love (like art). You only need paper and pencil. What you are going through right now is not easy, but you don’t have to go through it alone. I bet tons of people here will pray for you sooner or later. I do already. <3.

Eliana Bastidas

I really hope that in the future, you could look back at this moment and say, "It was really hard, but I was able to overcome it".
Wish you a fast recovery!

AngelinaKizz

So sorry to hear this news, I hope that you'll go into treatment with positivity and optimism, and that everything goes smoothly for a full recovery. You have our thoughts and well wishes.

aurelia

Hi @Michael-Angelo-Go ,

I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through right now.

It must be really overwhelming, heart-breaking, and emotional for you. As all the students said above, we're here to help and encourage and keep you in our prayers.

May God guide you and give you wisdom in this trying time and you'll come out of this shining as gold.

I still remember when I was young my grandma got cancer.

My grandma was also an artist. She made toys for kids.

She wasn't feeling well for some time and she thought it was some digestion problem. So she kept eating porridge for some time. But it wasn't getting better. She was travelling at that time, so later when she got back home and went to the hospital, they checked and they told her she had pancreatic cancer.

My whole family could not stop shaking.

Then very quickly they checked her in the hospital.

All the medical procedures only made it worse. It was so painful and stressful for her. And eventually it caused her to go into a coma.

She never woke up.

At last she vomited out a big mouthful of blood and then she was gone.

She worked very hard all her life and taking care of her families and grandchildren. She was very kind and loving it was really sad to lose her so quickly.

I can only imagine how your family and friends are feeling right now...

I was really regretful that at that time we were not in the age of internet, like now when the knowledge of healing cancer is so abundant... and people are getting rid of cancer in their bodies everyday without any medical intervention.

There are so many different natural ways to heal the body from any type of cancer now, it is amazing.

At that time most people are not very knowledgeable. The only thing we knew about was what we needed for our work and our occupation. They could only blindly rely on expensive medical intervention that doesn't help anything.

Actually it, helped grandma to die even faster and made her last days a lot more painful and stressful...

I'm glad to hear that you know there's better options to get rid of your cancer. Like you mentioned that you're seeing a herbalist.

I hope your herbalist is specialized in healing cancer and other terminal sickness too. If not, it's not hard to find an experienced one these days.

Except that maybe a lot of them are censored on Google because they threaten the profits made by hospitals and medical industry. So you may need to find them personally.

Recently I happened to know about Dr. Ruby Lathon who healed herself naturally from thyroid cancer without medical intervention.

Her life is like a dream now and she is spreading her life's story everywhere to help others who were once like her.

If you have time to watch, I hope her interview can also inspire you as you look for the best out of many solutions to your new challenge:

https://www.chrisbeatcancer.com/dr-ruby-lathon-healed-thyroid-cancer-with-a-plant-based-diet/

If anytime you need more resources, feel free to post in the forum.

There are a lot of other natural proven approaches we all can share.

God bless.

Michael Angelo Go

@aurelia Hello Aurelia thank you and everyone who replied to comfort me in this most trying time. I am seeing a "holistic" doctor for a second opinion so that we can rule out whether or not a thyroidectomy is really the best decision for me. I am worried that by following through blindly what my primary medical doctor says will not yield the best results for me. I understand the ramifications of removing a thyroid. Once I have it removed I can no longer control hormone throughout my body. That means I will start gaining weight even if I intensely exercise and have a caloric deficit. It means that I won't be able to control my blood pressure or my mood, leading to anxiety and depression. Weight and mood are issues I am already facing, having my thyroid removed will only worsen these symptoms, unless I accept the chore of hormone therapy every day. Which I am not yet ready to do.

What I am hoping from this other doctor is that he can either offer an alternative solution or confirm with me that I do not have much of a choice, so that there is not regrets moving forward.

Michael Angelo Go

Thank you @NessIllustration @Nyrryl-Cadiz @Melissa_Bailey and everybody else for your comforting comments. They are much appreciated and will help ease the transition to healing.

Jonathan Malski

If I'm honest, I don't know what to say.

One Bible verse that comes to mind in dealing with hopelessness is John 16:33.

I'm sorry for the fact that you have to go through this; it's more than tough, to say the least.
But there's a community of people here for you, and even more than that, there's a God who knows you and loves you and will never leave you nor forsake you.
It's okay to feel the way you do---it's okay to lament. But don't forget to breathe and be still. You have time, as @NessIllustration said. Take action where you can; you're already doing it.

I'm not sure where one can go to make 100% reliable/steady art income, but I know one can find prospective contract/freelance/full-time work in places like:
- You're already on ArtStation, so I assume you know about https://www.artstation.com/jobs/all (not exactly children's book-related work, but you never know what you'll find)
- Also, video game concept artist Trent Kaniuga said in one YouTube video of his (can't remember which) you can always try to look up projects on Kickstarter/Indiegogo which might need artists, (one collectible trading card game I found is Depths (Check its Twitter), and one collectible trading card game company open to artist submissions is FantasyFlight Games (Artist Application is near the bottom of Careers page)), and you could also try illustrating music album covers.
- You have a bachelor's degree in Architecture; internships and contests are available for that career, if you're open.
- You can look up art contests and see what's out there and what potential prizes exist (here's one website with a list of contests; unfortunately, only 3 are still open for submissions, I think)

I'll be praying for you.
May the Lord bless you and keep you. May His face shine upon you, and may He give you peace (Numbers 6:24-26 (NIV)). And if you don't know the Lord yet, I pray that you come to know Him.

Take care, man. And, as you thought, it never hurts to vent a little through your art, thereby creating additional productivity!

Eliana Bastidas

@Michael-Angelo-Go It's great you are looking for second opinions, to me it's really common and helpful to get the opinion from different doctors because they may overlook something important or have a different point of view that may help you more.

I just would add that you shouldn't stop trying to get medical help. I know aurelia meant good, but it was really a dangerous advice.

Michael Angelo Go

@Eliana-Bastidas I am seeing a licensed medical doctor that specializes in holistic medicine for thyroid disorders to get a second opinion on my thyroidectomy. A thyroidectomy is a life-changing event and I want to make sure I am making all the right decisions before I jump straight to surgery. My doctor wasn't even willing to answer my questions, which goes against "informed consent" a concept in the medical field.

Eliana Bastidas

@Michael-Angelo-Go I'm not doctor, but I have a family member that is a doctor. They are usually really reserved about saying things mostly because it can have an impact on the behaviour of the patients, if something bad happens because they "told a patiend something", they could get a demand and get their licenses revoked.

Every field that is related to health care in general is really delicate in this aspect, any action or thing you say, may cause you trouble. In my teens I was studying to get a paramedic license and one of the causes that made me quit was this, you literally have to see courses about legal stuff, just to make sure you don't get in trouble .
Hope you don't see this comment as a nuinsance, I'm taking my time to write about this because I'm concern. Alternative medicine is usually based in pseudoscience. Take care!