Could I get a Critique?

kirsten-mcg

Hi everyone! I've recently finished watching Will's Interior Design class, and I'm working on a little series of illustrations to help really internalize what I learned. I would love any thoughts and suggestions. My concept is a boy who steps on his cat's tail and then chases the cat through the house until capturing it and bandaging the tail. Do you think the story comes across? Is there anything that looks awkward about the poses or perspective?

MelissaJacie

@kirsten-mcg You've got some neat things going here!! I like how you've thought about the interiors which creates more depth. I'll try to come back and give some thoughts soon!

carlianne

@kirsten-mcg this is such a sweet story And I love that grumpy cat face at the end!!

For improvement I didn't quite get that this was a sequence of a story together. It might have helped if the way the cat is facing on the first page is the same direction as he is running on the second page.

But, also I didn't see at first that the boy stepped on the tail of the cat, I thought the cat was brushing by him angrily and so then the boy was mad and chasing the cat. I think if you made that silhouette a bit clearer it would work really nicely!

That interesting camera angle on the second one is so fun!

Eliana Bastidas

@kirsten-mcg Really cute pieces! The issue I see in your images are about perspective.

In the first one, the flowerpots look kind of odd because they are below the P.O.V but you didn't point that out with their contour lines.
The pose of the kid is broken. You can't normally see the front center line of the torso and the center line of the butt at the same time. I tried to draw a bean with the center line of the back and front for you to see and drew another pose that looks stiff, sorry, didn't look for references for this one but at least gives you an idea of an option.

What bothers me about the second picture is how small the kid looks like, everything around them looks so big when you showed in your first picture the proportions on both characters, then it goes back to normal again on image 3.

Griffin McPherson

I think the first image is where most of the issues are. Starting with the composition I would recommend avoiding centered subjects. It’s very hard to pull off centered compositions, they are usually used for very powerful and poignant moments in a story. I think a more interesting background could be used to creat a more compelling composition. The kids bedroom could be more interest and would make more sense.

I’m going to get channel my inner Will Terry for a moment and ask some questions that came to mind for me. Why is the kid in this part of the house? Why is their body facing the stairs? Why did they step on the cats tail?

I think you could tell more of a story in the action of stepping on the cats tail. The kid stepped on the cat’s tail because they were reading and not watching where they were going but to me this is not a very interesting action. Maybe the kid tripped or slipped over something which caused them to step on the tail.

I think that would be a good place to start. From their just keep asking yourself questions. The more questions you ask yourself the better your story becomes. Hope this helps!

kirsten-mcg

@carlianne Thanks so much! A lot of people seem to be missing that the boys is stepping on the cat's tail in the first picture, so I'll definitely be working on that.

kirsten-mcg

@Eliana-Bastidas You caught so many things that I didn't even notice, but now that you point them out they are screaming at me. Thanks so much! All helpful points for reworking this image.

kirsten-mcg

@Griffin Your inner Will Terry is very wise! Thanks for all the tips! You've given me a lot of pointers to go on when I rework this piece!

Eliana Bastidas

@kirsten-mcg you are welcome! Hope to see the follow up soon

AngelinaKizz

In regards to the second image, I think you’ve given too much prominence to the flowers on the counter. I think you could improve the image by pulling back on the flowers, and moving the child and the cat slightly out from the pots. Right now it’s a bit hard to read. The story is good, but I think a few tweaks would make it better.

kirsten-mcg

So here's a re-working of the first image. What do you think? Any more clear? I'm really struggling with the angle of the cat, and I don't think my cat would appreciate being the model for this one! (please excuse the weird line in the ceiling. I'll be sure to edit that out!) Does the cat's pose look weird to anyone else?

MelissaJacie

@kirsten-mcg Kirsten, I'm glad you've received some feedback here on your illustrations!! This is great. First--I love how you're giving thought to interesting detail in your environments. Way to go on that. And I also love how you're moving forward and working on another rendition!! Your responsiveness and eagerness to learn is going to move you forward in your skills!! Keep up the good work.

The pose of the boy in this new rendition is a neat improvement on the original. It looks more fluid! It might take viewers a little bit of time to figure out what's happening, but that can be okay. You could draw more attention to the key moment by your values and colors if you were going to make it full color. For example, make everything but the boy and cat more monochromatic in color.

Keep an eye on the bookshelf's perspective. If you look at the top edge, you might want to have it follow the ceiling line (technically). However, it doesn't mean doing it the way you have it currently, couldn't be a stylistic choice.

And neat idea for a lead-in with the rocking horse. I could see that being a shadowed object in the foreground that helps to direct the attention to the middle ground. Maybe two or more foreground pieces would continue to draw the eye to the middle?

MelissaJacie

@kirsten-mcg On the second illustration you once again have a foreground element! Have you thought about adding another element or two along the same plane as the pots? Also, the pots and the boys head could kind of "stick together" visually ...try making everything in the foreground darker as a whole than anything in the middle ground. Changing the values will begin to push the little boy further into the scene and help to separate him a bit from the pots. Also--some nice line work happening in those background elements--the stove, etc. You've truly got some good skills showing up in your work. Totally keep at it!

On the third illustration, the boy and the cat can feel a bit flat against the 3D-ish carpet and furniture. One quick way that might help to bring more depth is to change the direction of the stripes on the boy's shirt. Instead of humping them, make them dip. This will fit the perspective of the carpet better. (I hope that line description makes sense. ) You could do something similar for the cat. Give slight "circle lines" on him to give a more 3D feel. Maybe try moving his back feet, further back. They're sitting rather close to his forepaws which may be helping to flatten him.

If you tilt the boy's head towards us a little more it could bring more of a 3D look as well and less of a profile.

Truly, way to go on all this work! This has taken time, thought and energy for you and you should be pleased with what you've accomplished!

Jeremy Ross

Hi @kirsten-mcg, lots of action happening here; good stuff!

Few thoughts for your consideration:

Is the bookshelf falling? It feels like it. Suggest you check perspective.
The cat feels too big compared to the kid, especially if they are near each other with stepping of the tail.
My first interpretation was the cat is afraid of the rocking chair horse.
The dark closet catches my eye due to the contrast; however, I don’t think you want the audience looking in the closet?

It’s definitely a fun piece!

carlianne

@kirsten-mcg really great improvement! This pose is so much clearer and omgeee so cute!

kirsten-mcg

@MelissaJacie Thanks so much for taking the time to do these detailed and thorough critiques! I found them so helpful, and I think they will really help me with my final revisions and as I do more value and color. I'm trying to make a nice series for my portfolio, so I'm more than willing to put in the work to get good pieces!

kirsten-mcg

Thanks so much for your help so far everyone! I'll post updated pics as I work through the rest of revisions and adding color.

kirsten-mcg

Just a quick color study of the picture above. Color coming soon!

Griffin McPherson

@kirsten-mcg I think it could help if you turned the kids body more girds the camera so we can see more of the back leg. It would help to clarify the form. Other than that this is looking great! You’ve added a ton more visual interest and context. The story is much stronger now.

kirsten-mcg

Here are the final pieces I painted in color. There are things I would change about all of them, but I learned so much from this project! I'm hoping to be able to take everything I learned and level up my next attempt at an interior illustration. Thanks so much for all of your help with this! If you have any final critiques to help as I continue this learning process, feel free to share.