Rabbit Road Race Feedback Request :)
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Hi! Long time lurker, first time poster. I am still a relatively new illustrator (1.5 years) and I struggle with composition/finishing pieces. I would love some feedback on my WIP for the rabbit road race critique arena prompt. I feel like something is missing, doesn’t quite look right or just needs more work. My idea is a pre-race lineup on a makeshift track on the road made by the rabbits. I need to add the numbers to the rabbit bibs, and work on the painted line still, but felt like I was at a place I needed constructive criticism. I would love and appreciate any feedback!
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@alexisstegner These are nicely rendered and sweet rabbits! Here's a stream of thoughts/reactions for you:
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I like your idea of freshly painted running lanes, but I wouldn't have caught it if you hadn't mentioned it. The paint can detail is fairly small. What if the rabbit on the far right was still in the process of finishing painting the line? That could sell that story more.
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If this is supposed to be a road, I'm confused as to why there are bleachers behind it, which makes it look more like a regular track (another reason I didn't pick up on the "freshly painted" story). You could either change the story so that it IS at a track, or consider some other background that suggests that it's a road (in a city? suburb? farm road?).
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I think you could do without the lamp posts. They really attract my eye (perfectly vertical dark lines on top of a light and sparse background), but I don't think they're add a lot to the story and actually confuse the environment a bit. (Is it a road or a track?)
Cheers to you for your first post! I know that it can be intimidating. Next time I suggest sharing an earlier stage of your work, because it's much easier to change a composition in the sketch phase.
Keep on!
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Hi @Rebecca-Jensen! Thank you for your wonderful feedback, I appreciate it! I went ahead and roughly sketched over my existing drawing. I added a fence and sunflower/corn field (I haven’t decided which) because I don’t think I have the time to do a good cityscape. I love your idea of having the far right rabbit painting the line, I think that will help emphasize the painted line more. I also added a tree and bags leaning up against it, as well as some other small elements to not make it look so plain and boring. If anything stands out as weird, let me know!
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@alexisstegner I like the changes you made. I think they will really help the design of the piece and storytelling. I also live in North Dakota and happen to love sunflowers!!
If you have the time, I would see why they are racing. Are they siblings with the unending pecking order? Is this an annual fun race in their small town? Are they fighting over something?
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@alexisstegner Great update! The environment makes much more sense to me now, and has a charm to it.
For the rabbit painting the line- what do you think about positioning them so that we can see their face? I'm curious what their expression/attitude would be while painting the line.
Looking at the other rabbit faces that we see, I'm also noticing that their expressions are calm and neutral, and all gazing directly at the viewer. Is that your intention? Are these bunnies all relaxed about this race? Are any of them competitive and perhaps eyeing their opponents? Just some things to think about!
Keep on!
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@alexisstegner Wow, this is a beautiful image! I love your rendering style and the sweet expression of your characters ^_^
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@alexisstegner I really love the softness of the rendering and the different positions, I would cut some of the foreground and try and reposition the characters, so that one is closer to us, which would create more depth and perspective.
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Wow! Thank you all for your feedback! You all helped me create a much more visually appealing illustration. If you have any additional feedback, there is more that I would like to update on this, but with other deadlines, I unfortunately couldn't get to everything. After submitting this, I realized a relay has batons, so oops!
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@Meekipink Thank you so much for the kind words!
