Society of Visual Storytelling

    SVSLearn Forums

    • Register
    • Login
    • Search
    • Recent
    • Tags
    • Popular
    • Users
    • Groups
    • Search

    Tight Deadline! New Book Project. Feedback Much Appreciated!

    Projects
    20
    87
    6807
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • Miriam
      Miriam last edited by

      The rewrites look good & clear up the previous issues.

      One question I have is: why are we looking at the two houses where it says, "But this spring was different. Mama had been sick all winter."?
      (Also, the names of seasons—winter, spring, summer and fall / autumn—don't need to be capitalized.)

      I like how the daughter is sitting by Mama's bed when she's looking through the seed packets. It shows that the mom has to stay in bed and rest a lot, but they can still do things together.

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • Elizabeth Rose
        Elizabeth Rose last edited by Elizabeth Rose

        @kirsten-mcg Yey, that’s good to hear. I’m excited to start on the drawing and rendering too! Considering how much some of the story depends on the illustrations to explain whats happening, I feel like that will make things even more clear. I’m going to hold off one more week before I start on the thumbnails. Over Thanksgiving I plan to have a few more friends and family take a look at the story and get their input. This week I plan to draw up the character designs of little squirrels friends all decked out in their tea party gowns!

        Hello @Miriam, Thanks so much for more of your thoughts. Your suggestions have been golden!
        And yes, I can see how the two houses on the second spread would be confusing. The sketches don’t really explain them well at this point. The first house is actually the green house and the second house is the family home. I was playing around with the idea of little squirrel tending to the greenhouse on her own and potentially on the next render having Mama Squirrel peaking through a window from the family home. But I’m open to other ideas for this scene too if you have any thoughts on that.

        And yes, I was wondering if that was correct in regards to capitalizing the seasons. I had a friend do some story edits and that was one of the edits she suggested. I’ll have to switch them back lol!

        Yeah! That’s one of my favorite scenes now. The one with Mama Squirrel and Little Squirrel picking out seeds. Before that scene was added, I had several viewers suggest to have Mama Squirrel make an appearance in the center of the story. I think that new scene has helped the story a lot.

        Anymore suggestions, comments or thoughts anyone?

        https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
        https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
        https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

        Miriam 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • Miriam
          Miriam @Elizabeth Rose last edited by

          @Elizabeth-Rose Thanks, I'm happy my comments have helped!
          A greenhouse sounds pretty but I think it detracts from the story, since the story is about the little squirrel making her own garden instead of working in the family garden.
          It feels like the greenhouse is coming from nowhere, and doesn't connect to the rest of the story.

          Maybe you could change the greenhouse to a smaller garden shed, and show the little squirrel pushing a wheelbarrow full of garden tools instead.

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • Elizabeth Rose
            Elizabeth Rose last edited by

            @Miriam Oh, now that is a cool idea! Garden sheds are usually interesting too. Or maybe I’ve just always had a fascination with them. Lol And I love the wheelbarrow idea too. I have a wheelbarrow in the “Here I’m Happy” book. It would be cool for the wheelbarrow to have a re-appearance in this one 🙂
            I’ll play around with that idea. Thanks again!

            I’m working on some character design for the tea party guests. Here is Ms. Bunny bellow.

            4E7BC0EA-95B3-41D9-84D2-155F17EFF8D7.jpeg

            https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
            https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
            https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

            Miriam kirsten-mcg 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 2
            • Miriam
              Miriam @Elizabeth Rose last edited by

              @Elizabeth-Rose said in Tight Deadline! New Book Project. Feedback Much Appreciated!:

              Garden sheds are usually interesting too.

              Yes, they seem like they could be full of all kinds of interesting & useful things.

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • kirsten-mcg
                kirsten-mcg @Elizabeth Rose last edited by

                @Elizabeth-Rose she’s so cute!

                Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kirsten.mcgonigal.art/
                Portfolio Site: www.kirstenmcgonigalart.com

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                • Elizabeth Rose
                  Elizabeth Rose last edited by

                  And here is Miss Mousy Tidbit

                  4C454882-1085-4C8C-8DE9-7F65DCCEE8DE.jpeg

                  https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                  https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                  https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                  • Elizabeth Rose
                    Elizabeth Rose last edited by

                    Character design for Lady Skunk (she is the sassy friend)

                    585220DF-19C9-446A-AEAA-CF06F71EA546.jpeg

                    https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                    https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                    https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                    ArtistErin 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • ArtistErin
                      ArtistErin @Elizabeth Rose last edited by

                      @Elizabeth-Rose Love all your characters!! 🙂

                      Erin Richardson
                      instagram.com/erinrichardsondesigns21
                      www.erinrichardsondesigns.com

                      Elizabeth Rose 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                      • Elizabeth Rose
                        Elizabeth Rose @ArtistErin last edited by

                        @ArtistErin thanks! They are fun to draw up 🙂

                        https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                        https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                        https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • Elizabeth Rose
                          Elizabeth Rose last edited by

                          And here we have an introduction to Little Miss Lady Raccoon. I think I’ll try redoing her paws holding the parasol though. They seem not quite right to me. Anybody else feel that way too?

                          55C941F7-C1F3-4A76-90D4-3E2707B0EBF4.jpeg

                          https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                          https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                          https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                          ArtistErin 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                          • ArtistErin
                            ArtistErin @Elizabeth Rose last edited by

                            @Elizabeth-Rose I found some images and thought they resembled somewhat the look you are after, would this help? If they were delicate and ladylike to match your character's demeanor that would make more sense I think. a54886fb-8535-4985-bd59-8007410e9f6c-image.png
                            040f0a24-c660-400a-8a5d-add07cfc8e85-image.png

                            Erin Richardson
                            instagram.com/erinrichardsondesigns21
                            www.erinrichardsondesigns.com

                            Elizabeth Rose 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                            • Elizabeth Rose
                              Elizabeth Rose @ArtistErin last edited by

                              @ArtistErin Oh, Thank you! Those are helpful!

                              https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                              https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                              https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                              • Elizabeth Rose
                                Elizabeth Rose last edited by

                                And here I introduce to you. Miss Mulberry Gen. She is the rascally friend out of Little Squirrels friends.

                                4B4578DA-E0A7-4C35-B60D-82955AA4615E.jpeg

                                https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                                https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                                https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                                ArtistErin 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                • Elizabeth Rose
                                  Elizabeth Rose last edited by

                                  Merry Christmas everyone! I hope it’s been a wonderful week.

                                  I’ve not been able to figure out what to name Little Squirrel’s friend Miss little Sassy Sunk. So I’ve asked for suggestions on social media and I’ve gotten a wonderful collection of sassy names.

                                  Here is the list I’ve picked and mixed from all the name suggestions:

                                  1. Dandelion Pearl
                                  2. Daisy Lace
                                  3. Scarlet Bell
                                  4. Violet Antonella
                                  5. Holly Daphne
                                  6. Gwendolyn Rose

                                  Everyone feel free to vote your favorite name bellow! I will also be gathering votes from my social medias too.

                                  F00955F4-2D5D-4360-BEA9-ECA303FA7EB1.jpeg

                                  https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                                  https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                                  https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                                  Chantal Goetheer Jean Watson kirsten-mcg 3 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • Chantal Goetheer
                                    Chantal Goetheer @Elizabeth Rose last edited by

                                    @Elizabeth-Rose I like nr 2 and 6. 2 is the easiest to read out loud. I always find it hard to name. Our cat was called cat...

                                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • Jean Watson
                                      Jean Watson @Elizabeth Rose last edited by

                                      @Elizabeth-Rose Daisy Lace gets my vote. 🙂

                                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                      • Elizabeth Rose
                                        Elizabeth Rose last edited by

                                        @Chantal-Goetheer Hahaha, your cat’s name is Cat? That’s awesome. 🙂 I know, naming can be so hard sometimes.

                                        @Jean-Watson Alrighty! Daisy Lace as two votes so far!

                                        https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                                        https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                                        https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                                        Chantal Goetheer 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • Chantal Goetheer
                                          Chantal Goetheer @Elizabeth Rose last edited by

                                          @Elizabeth-Rose haha yes. Obi wan Kenobi didn't stick 😂. And at some point we had two cats and one was cat (poes in Dutch) and the other one little cat (poesje). Luckily we never had more than two.

                                          Elizabeth Rose 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                          • Elizabeth Rose
                                            Elizabeth Rose @Chantal Goetheer last edited by

                                            @Chantal-Goetheer Hahaha! At least it’s a good story to tell!

                                            https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                                            https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                                            https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                            • First post
                                              Last post