Lucy / 3rd TR looking for advice...
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I like your concept. It looks to me as though the spaceship is equally blurred. I think it would be more interesting if it were more in focus in the front of the ship, but blurred in the background. The way a low aperture is in a photograph. In fact, Lucy looks to be in the foreground and dad would be in the mid ground, so maybe he's a bit out of focus, too. This might help to make her stand out as the focal point. I like the way she is lit, that helps to bring my eye to her and her cute puppy.
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One more thought...Lucy feels like she's in a corner and I wonder if she could be placed somewhere that would make her stand out more. I like her gesture and even the fact that I can't see her face. I wonder if she should appear to be interacting with dad more? Not sure.
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Thank you Carrie, the whole plane is blurred because I haven't added any real detail to it. I like your idea of blurring the mid and backgrounds... I started with dad looking right at Lucy behind the dog, but then it destroyed her relationship with her dog. I put the tape in the position of the bottom corner of the "thirds" layout and design standard. Dad was close to the top. I also have another thought about dad with his hands over his eyes...
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I like the concept of fixing complicated machinery with duct tape. With both of your characters facing off of the page I have a hard time getting 'into' the middle of your composition. Have you tried Lucy in the bottom left and Dad in the top right?
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Hi, I like what you have done, but it took me a while to find Lucy. I also thought that the dad was Lucy to begin with because of the name above him looked a bit like it was a neon sign... I think you need to focus on making it read a little clearer. Great illustration though x
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@stacilyn I wonder if I horizontally flipped the drawing, we read from the top left, and made it clearer that the dad was yelling for/at Lucy... I think you are right about getting into the middle, I will have to think about it...
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@Russ-Van-Dine Interesting concept. I like your pile of plane parts.
It took me a little bit of time to make the connection that Lucy was going to fix the crash with duct tape. You might want to make her and the toolbox bigger. -
@Russ-Van-Dine love the idea! Yes, duct tape is the perfect tool for any job, I agree.
I wanted to echo some of the comments about composition and the girl being hard to find, I also think we would probably want to see her face since she is the main subject. I did a quick sketch just to throw out there as an idea for one composition you could consider. Hope it helps!
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Man, you guys are really good! Natiwata, this is exactly what I had been thinking as I read the other posts... I will certainly retry my layout and design, now I have to replace your image in my head with something different but I really like yours.
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@Russ-Van-Dine Glad we're on the same page! Use as much or little of it as you like, that's why I did it!
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Yep, I think you have some great advice on this one already. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with.
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So, here is what I put together from all the help, I took out the dad, I put the end of the spaceship/plane in the background and I chose the specific moment the action right after she found the tool. I decided a grinning hounddog/beagle looked right because he is not very ferocious... and he would be counting on Lucy for everything...although he doesn't look very convinced she has found the correct tool to fix the big problem...
