First post/ 3rd Thursday
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Hello, my name is Heriberto A Hernandez and this is my first post so I hope this is being submitted properly. I've looked through the forums and it looks like a great place to get feedback. I love the 3rd Thursdays, giving people an opportunity to win a free course from some amazing instructors. So this is my sketch for the prompt of "Haven brought it to "Show and Tell"... even though she never got permission." Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you.
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Hi Heriberto, I think that the lion looks too cute and cuddly and therefore the teacher looks like he's overreacting by hiding. Maybe we need to feel a bit more danger? Perhaps the lion could be on a lead and dragging the boy a bit, so it looks a bit out of control, or maybe it's jumped on the teachers desk and knocked stuff everywhere?
Hope this gives you a few ideas. X
Jacs -
Welcome Heriberto, I really like your concept for show and tell and your lion is really cute
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Holás, Heriberto. I have had the same idea but with a tiger. I did imagine they walking to her class and... well, you know, generating a foreseeable reaction of her peers.
I love your characters and I'd like to see your color scheme soon. In terms of what is happening there, I think the whole scene must be overdramatic. You'll find a lot of references by googling some famous cartoon scenes.
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Thank you all so much for the feedback, as I read the comments I'm instantly visualizing an updated concept that i feel will be an overall better design. I'll update with a new sketch.
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@HaHernandez like this idea and love your lines!
I'm trying to come up with how I want to say this but I'm not sure I have it right--basically it's looking a little "static" right now. It's just missing the punch.
I would disagree with one of the other crits you got--I think the lion is great. Even a "cuddly" lion would probably cause the teacher to panic.Try this: check out @natiwata 's entry and see how he sets up his arrangement. You have similar elements (girl, teacher, desk). But his is more dynamic where you have pretty much all vertical lines--and that is making your great drawing and great idea come off as a little weak.
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@HaHernandez btw love your work (on your portfolio site). Your pop tart kinda reminds me of a "kid version" of some of Dan Luvisi's work (his Micky Mouse).
Just a suggestion: Maybe put the "Innocent" B&W image instead of the cookie--or the Walking Bear. To me, those images are a little stronger.
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Thank you @mattramsey I understand what you mean, I'm gonna attempt to make the new composition more dynamic. I love your portfolio also, we have the same art heroes. Thanks for the portfolio advise too.
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Hello again, so after some helpful feedback I reworked the design and feel like this is more of the direction that I want to go in. The teacher now has more of a reason to panic but I'm trying to decide if it works better with the kids cheering the girl on or without them. Suggestions appreciated.
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Nice! Big improvement!!
Great looking lion. the one thing I would look at is how a claw on cats work. just reaching out the foot straight ahead like you have it lack a dynamic gesture. Maybe try some different poses for that whole arm and see what looks best. I prefer the one with the kids. (hilarious!)
Really cool!
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@HaHernandez i would keep the kids cheering on in there. Great job.
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Great job!
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@bharris Thank you, @Chip-Valecek, @Lee-White thanks for the input, I like the kids but wanted to make sure it wasn't too busy and I'm definitely going to use more reference as I refine it further . I'll continue to post the process as it goes on. I really wanted to thank everyone on here, I wasn't expecting so much community support and I'm glad @Will-Terry mentions svslearn so much on his youtube videos because I would've never known about this. There's a big difference in showing work to friends and family who all say its good but provide nothing else to getting honest feedback from people who seem genuinely invested in seeing people improve.
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I love the kids cheering. I am super impressed with how you've transformed this piece. You've inspired me to reconsider some of my decisions. Very nice job!
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It looks amazing! Fantastic improvement, so much more dynamic and I also prefer the one with the kids cheering
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Wow this is fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Great piece! Also love the kids!
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oh wow the second sketch is really nice!
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Wow! I just watched the Youtube critique this morning and saw that I was in the honorable mentions which was exciting enough considering the amazing talent that participated. The judges had some great feedback and tips which will definitely help with future submissions. The paint and draw overs were very educational and I was surprised how much information you could pick up on even if its not your piece being reworked. The big surprise though was when the winning image was displayed and it was mine. I truly was not expecting it and had to watch the end three times to make sure I wasnt misunderstanding it. Thank you to Will Terry, Jake Parker and of course Lee White for advising me to look at lion paw reference. It was an honor to participate and I look forward to the next one.
