4 May 2022, 04:06
I like the story you’re going with I’m not sure if it’s the story you want to go with, but you might have him actually carrying a chicken – saving a chicken – so he can be a hero.
Pull those hero heartstrings.
Running in from the Storm May WIP
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@chrisaakins Looks great! Love the concept. I think you could get away with another chicken or two.
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@chrisaakins nice! Had the same thought as @Asyas_illos -- more characters to really sell the idea that this is a barn would help. It might also break that strong boxy shape of the door, which might also help your composition. Looking forward to seeing this take shape!
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I’d recommend moving around the composition. With the boys head level with the house it gives the viewer all the information they need right there so there isn’t much reason for our eye’s to wander around the image. It might help to bring the boy into the foreground so he would be where the chicken is now and then have maybe 3 chickens running behind him and you can use them to create a path for the eye to follow from the lighting hitting the house to the boy.
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I really like the story here. I think what I would consider changing is the perspective. I would rotate the room ever so slightly so that it’s not all parallel with the edges of the canvas. I think it would just add a bit of extra interest and depth to the image.
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@Melissa_Bailey @Asyas_illos i added another chicken. I intended to originally but didn’t want to crowd things. I think it looks better. @Griffin i get what you are saying. Hmmm…bottom line, I wanted him chasing the chickens. Based on the horizon line, even if I move him forward, his head will be level with the house. I also like how the lightning directs the eye to the boy for a first read. Adding another chicken and some tools in the barn help solve the problem a bit, I think. I also think moving him forward might draw the eye off the page. But I appreciate you taking the time to give me things to chew on. @AngelinaKizz I think I will play around with that. I didn’t realize I had aligned everything so neatly. Rookie error. My biggest issue is my math teacher wife HATES when I skew the perspective. Hahaha!
Her first response is “Ahhh! All the crooked lines!” But maybe a little, right?More progress:
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@chrisaakins I think if you had the chickens behind him, it would look more like he was being chased by chickens and lose the running from a storm feel.
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@AngelinaKizz good point! I hope his face reads, ugh the rain is hitting me in the face.
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I like the story you’re going with I’m not sure if it’s the story you want to go with, but you might have him actually carrying a chicken – saving a chicken – so he can be a hero.
Pull those hero heartstrings.
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I like this idea and the setting quite a bit. The thing that strikes me is that the chickens have more dynamism than the boy -- his running posture doesn't look as aggressive as theirs. Could you make him lean more?
I think the color palette is very Wizard of Oz/Kansas looking and really works.
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@chrisaakins yes, breaking those strong vertical and horizontal lines will improve the composition. Another chicken or a cow/horse/goat poking its head around to look out at the storm might improve the storytelling and composition even more. You might also consider cropping the canvas to eliminate that super strong horizontal line of the top of the barn door. We don't need it to know that this is a barn door. There is enough information with the door itself, the animals, and the farm tools.
You mentioned the boy's expression, wondering if it reads "aughh, the rain's hitting me in the face!" For me, it doesn't. His emotion is hard to read, especially as he's staring straight ahead. But there's a huge bolt of lightning hitting the house/tree. Wouldn't he notice that? Isn't that a main element of this illustration? Why not have him looking over his shoulder at the storm and reacting to it?
In short, my suggestion is: add one more animal to the upper right to break that strong vertical line, crop the top of the doorframe out, and have the boy turning his head to look at the storm and react to it. That will bring even more dynamism and clarity to your illustration.
Great work!
illustrator - author - smiley person
mbaileyart.com
instagram.com/mbaileyart/ -
@Melissa_Bailey Well…I wasn’t really trying to draw the lightning hitting the tree just a basic ole background bolt of lightning that would send you running especially when I the sky starts dropping those big wet drops that splash your face. I imagine the kid whooping and yelling at the chickens to get in the barn. I changed his eyes to be more squinted shut and @demotlj I angled him a bit to get more dynamism. I also angled the frame with my wife’s permission @AngelinaKizz ! I also added a wagon wheel to break the box and give more depth. I hesitate to draw more animals because I don’t want the viewer drawn to the animals more than the boy. @KevinTreaccar While I like the idea of him carrying a chicken, I don’t think that would be realistic. Can you imagine catching a chicken right when it’s coming up a storm? Yeah, you are going to get wet and irritate the chicken. Haha!
So maybe at this point I am really liking it and wouldn’t mind a few words of affirmation. It’s been a hard day at work and a bit of encouragement might do this old soul some good. (how’s that for a sob story?)
I really appreciate all the critique and helps though. If you see a deal breaker, let me know.
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@chrisaakins I really like what you did with the door frame! Looks awesome, I’d love an old brick barn one day
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@chrisaakins I love your concept. It's very dramatic moment and there's lots of movement and expression. Great work!!!
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@chrisaakins I think this turned out great! So much movement and sense of intensity.
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More progress. I finished one chicken and added a barn cat, because why not? Actually I think it helps convey a sense of warmth and safety since he is so languid and dilatory. (SAT prep vocabulary, check!) also, I am avoiding bricks because it is so tedious…
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@chrisaakins I like the addition of the wheel too nice contrast to the squareness, breaks it up nicely
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Here is the final version.
