My Cloud WIP

KevinTreaccar

So, what's the story? Is it clear?

Also, this worth fleshing out or should I see if I have time for something else?

Finally, see any issues I need to clean up before I add tone and background?

Thanks,
Kevin

Johanna Kim

@KevinTreaccar Nice line work. As for the story, it's a bit unclear for me at the moment. What I'm seeing is these kids are trying to make the clouds happy with music and maybe also dance so it'll stop raining. But the thing that still seems cloudy is why the kid on the left is pointing to the ground. So they'll have dry grass? And why is that kid looking at us? Breaking the 4th wall?

KevinTreaccar

@Johanna-Kim Thank you! That will really help me clarify some things.

The story: The boys (from Camp Happy) are doing the rain dance to cancel the Outdoor Games against the intimidating Camp Goliath.

My (lack of) dance skills are hurting. I thought the pointing looked more like dancing than other hand poses, but now I see it like you where the pointing is creating point force I don’t want.

And breaking the fourth wall was unintentional. I can adjust his eyes, too.

Thank you!

@KevinTreaccar The boys in the foreground are members at Campy Happy. There are rain clouds over to the right. Maybe raining on Camp Goliath not sure? Are the two smiling boys excited that the rain has come? The camp games are cancelled or they just won.

Questions:
Why does the boy with the phone look upset? What is he pointing at?

The characters are cute and I like the idea of your story being set at a summer camp. Could you add more things to the background to signal the idea of a summer camp games? Maybe a tug of war rope or an obstacle course of some kind.

Looking forward to seeing where your image goes.

This post is deleted!

KevinTreaccar

@Stephanie-H The two dancing are supposed to look stressed because they don’t yet know it’s raining – or at least raining hard enough to cancel the games. Now including faces since I’m past the thumbnail stage might be showing that’s the wrong moment for their expressions, though.

“Rain dance pose reference” wasn’t helpful. I kept getting dancing in the rain or Singing In The Rain shots – and I figured spinning around a light post wouldn’t look camp-y. I’ll take a look through that classes files, though, to see if there’s a good switch.

My reference wound up being (for fans of the show) Ted Mosby rain dancing in the Season 1 season finale of How I Met Your Mother. Lot of screenshots. Not translating, though. I’ll try adding more adjectives to my original search.

And I like your thoughts about the games. I was originally planning to add silhouette of event tents and outdoor games, but I like the idea of a Camp Goliath camper working out and/or raging as the rain falls.

Thank you!

ArtMelC

@KevinTreaccar perhaps one of them could be beating a small drum while staring at the cloud to give more of the rain dance vibe?

Capturing dance in a still is really hard. From my limited experience, I find Bollywood dancing references the easiest to capture the "dancing vibe" while on still image. Give it a try and perhaps mix n match with other dancing styles of your choice. It's gonna be fun.

KevinTreaccar

@ArtMelC Thanks. The phone was supposed to set up music and dance, but I’m not sure it’s setting up RAIN dance. Drum could help. Thanks.

Will study Bollywood still for inspiration. I’ve added “Native American” to the front of “rain dance pose reference” and I’m having more luck now, too.

Thank you!

KevinTreaccar

The boys read more clearly here? (The I'M HAPPY on the shirt will come back in time).

Goliath campers and background toning still to come.

Thanks!

ArtMelC

@KevinTreaccar I think the new poses are working! Looks good to me

Kiara Necessary

@KevinTreaccar how sold are you on the boys being campers? I think the audience would have to figure out a lot less about the story if they were two teams in sports jerseys on a field

AngelinaKizz

@Kiara-Necessary maybe "the underdogs"!

KevinTreaccar

@Kiara-Necessary All I'm sold on is MG characters using the rain dance to cancel a competition. Yeah, a sports competition might be simpler. Thank you.

KevinTreaccar

Never mind.

KevinTreaccar

Okay. Same setup. New scene. How does this look? Ready for tone and such? Any/how many issues stand out?

Thanks,
Kevin

Kim Rosenlof

@KevinTreaccar To me, this makes more sense than the camper idea.

Frogpunzel

@KevinTreaccar I'm not sure how, but I feel like we need to see a little of team Goliath to understand why they are happy maybe?

KevinTreaccar

@Frogpunzel I had worked one into the other story. I can do that here. Good idea. Thanks.

This post is deleted!

KevinTreaccar

Here’s where I’m at. Working on adding tone in right now. Will work a tree line in at the horizon too.

Here’s my conundrum. Now I’m wondering if this is cuter, cooler and clearer if I turn all of the characters into animals in the style below. Woodland creatures are rain dancing a game into cancellation so they don’t have to play against predator animals.

Should I stick with people? I need people in my portfolio. But I think my animals are received better than my people and I wonder if animals give this a better shot at portfolio potential.

People or animals?

Thanks,
Kevin

Edit: And for added reference, I see this more as a middle grade novel spread.