• Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • Users
  • Groups
  • Search
  • Register
  • Login
Society of Visual Storytelling

SVSLearn Forums

  • Register
  • Login
  • Search
  • Recent
  • Tags
  • Popular
  • Users
  • Groups
  • Search

Tight Deadline! New Book Project. Feedback Much Appreciated!

Projects
20
87
6.8k
Loading More Posts
  • Oldest to Newest
  • Newest to Oldest
  • Most Votes
Reply
  • Reply as topic
Log in to reply
This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
  • Elizabeth Rose
    Elizabeth Rose last edited by 17 Nov 2022, 22:20

    More great thoughts!

    @Chantal-Goetheer Hahaha! Yeah, after some thought, I’m going to take you all up on your suggestions about extending the time to work on this book project. Besides I do want to enjoy some down time for the Holidays. And I agree, I think it would be good to play around with the words some more. There are a few spots that don’t transition as smoothly as I would like. With my last book project, a lot of times I would simply add an extra spread a it would fix the probably. Next thing I’ll know I’ll be extending the page count too lol!

    Awe @Pamela-Fraley Thank you!! That touches my heart 🙂

    @Miriam Goodness! So many good thoughts here. Yes yes, and yes. Okay bellow I got the most recent storyboard and I’ve tended to some of those issues. I would love to know your thoughts on the updates.

    FDD5CEEC-8B6F-4B0E-BD72-57CE4740FF25.jpeg

    8845C398-E13C-4070-8327-AE9DC3B8335C.jpeg

    FA654B77-1ABE-46E8-B6C1-C3BBDFF671DC.jpeg

    9A339459-F7DE-4478-8DB7-45DDA36DCE1B.jpeg 3D02BAA5-C1CA-43B6-A107-C9BE34F6EA3C.jpeg F417F801-B330-4BF9-B482-8404CC83C172.jpeg

    D8DB3E4E-4DB9-48C5-9411-975D2685384D.jpeg 1EA463BE-2871-41C5-95A8-3610D1E425C4.jpeg 4AA10EFE-42DC-4661-9562-2BFFF35D64AE.jpeg

    FD660D80-3957-4F0F-BF18-606CA82A0ED4.jpeg
    15628EEF-1FBD-4E47-8DAA-3D2DD72F78FC.jpeg

    A465BF61-1DBC-4E2A-8E22-AB4FB9A7211A.jpeg

    B9CCED91-6BC5-4123-9158-5412D4D09CB3.jpeg 401D2B22-0B32-4E75-A809-CEDB27DA96F7.jpeg 0B71DD5F-F21E-47D2-B79F-F48925F58A81.jpeg

    https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
    https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
    https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
    • Elizabeth Rose
      Elizabeth Rose last edited by 21 Nov 2022, 18:09

      Okay! The most updated storyboard bellow. It keeps changing! And yes, I’ve really been trying to push the highs and lows in the story. I already made one of my friends cry when she read it, lol!

      My next book project, I’ll have to do something light-hearted 🙂 I keep making sad books.

      4AACAC8B-738E-4942-AB46-BCCEF40E1B2B.jpeg EC17FFE2-C520-4AF8-9DFF-904F2CFE3A22.jpeg 3AFA5E25-17DC-4D9D-AC43-485EFA24D442.jpeg
      31CBC2A5-EA3D-4874-837F-37A35363A157.jpeg
      55AD924B-9729-4FD5-A972-61EA542262C8.jpeg
      A395D7A5-AFDA-430F-B713-642749F7E1A4.jpeg
      EA4F006B-E3E3-4BDD-9B5E-D771A5538E47.jpeg
      5BD69D18-193A-436E-967F-8F6F107B0B1D.jpeg
      F38B8F53-376B-4AD2-9065-4534CBF6FC17.jpeg

      384CA367-AEBB-4BC9-BF6B-4B5BD443D5DB.jpeg 439C6F43-5520-477C-BC3E-581B6CF32225.jpeg 7B3A1AF0-8836-4B06-A3D6-7D2D9DB1354B.jpeg
      BF3D76D7-C29D-4B78-A79E-F7586261E154.jpeg 18B78A3B-DDAE-4C7F-A456-73DC70745968.jpeg E3BF96E5-0783-4789-A098-711BF14762A4.jpeg
      7A2D3CC6-9CE5-4ED4-A21A-765BAB7D7E4D.jpeg

      https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
      https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
      https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

      kirsten-mcg 1 Reply Last reply 21 Nov 2022, 18:28 Reply Quote 1
      • kirsten-mcg
        kirsten-mcg @Elizabeth Rose last edited by 21 Nov 2022, 18:28

        @Elizabeth-Rose This is such a sweet story! I love how it's evolving. I think you've cleared up the part about building a new garden beautifully. It makes perfect sense to me now. And the part where the goats get in adds some nice tension in the middle. I think the ending is just perfect. I really don't have any critiques at this point. I'm excited to see how sketches progress!

        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kirsten.mcgonigal.art/
        Portfolio Site: www.kirstenmcgonigalart.com

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
        • Miriam
          Miriam last edited by 22 Nov 2022, 08:12

          The rewrites look good & clear up the previous issues.

          One question I have is: why are we looking at the two houses where it says, "But this spring was different. Mama had been sick all winter."?
          (Also, the names of seasons—winter, spring, summer and fall / autumn—don't need to be capitalized.)

          I like how the daughter is sitting by Mama's bed when she's looking through the seed packets. It shows that the mom has to stay in bed and rest a lot, but they can still do things together.

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • Elizabeth Rose
            Elizabeth Rose last edited by Elizabeth Rose 22 Nov 2022, 13:50 22 Nov 2022, 13:47

            @kirsten-mcg Yey, that’s good to hear. I’m excited to start on the drawing and rendering too! Considering how much some of the story depends on the illustrations to explain whats happening, I feel like that will make things even more clear. I’m going to hold off one more week before I start on the thumbnails. Over Thanksgiving I plan to have a few more friends and family take a look at the story and get their input. This week I plan to draw up the character designs of little squirrels friends all decked out in their tea party gowns!

            Hello @Miriam, Thanks so much for more of your thoughts. Your suggestions have been golden!
            And yes, I can see how the two houses on the second spread would be confusing. The sketches don’t really explain them well at this point. The first house is actually the green house and the second house is the family home. I was playing around with the idea of little squirrel tending to the greenhouse on her own and potentially on the next render having Mama Squirrel peaking through a window from the family home. But I’m open to other ideas for this scene too if you have any thoughts on that.

            And yes, I was wondering if that was correct in regards to capitalizing the seasons. I had a friend do some story edits and that was one of the edits she suggested. I’ll have to switch them back lol!

            Yeah! That’s one of my favorite scenes now. The one with Mama Squirrel and Little Squirrel picking out seeds. Before that scene was added, I had several viewers suggest to have Mama Squirrel make an appearance in the center of the story. I think that new scene has helped the story a lot.

            Anymore suggestions, comments or thoughts anyone?

            https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
            https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
            https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

            Miriam 1 Reply Last reply 22 Nov 2022, 21:14 Reply Quote 0
            • Miriam
              Miriam @Elizabeth Rose last edited by 22 Nov 2022, 21:14

              @Elizabeth-Rose Thanks, I'm happy my comments have helped!
              A greenhouse sounds pretty but I think it detracts from the story, since the story is about the little squirrel making her own garden instead of working in the family garden.
              It feels like the greenhouse is coming from nowhere, and doesn't connect to the rest of the story.

              Maybe you could change the greenhouse to a smaller garden shed, and show the little squirrel pushing a wheelbarrow full of garden tools instead.

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • Elizabeth Rose
                Elizabeth Rose last edited by 23 Nov 2022, 16:43

                @Miriam Oh, now that is a cool idea! Garden sheds are usually interesting too. Or maybe I’ve just always had a fascination with them. Lol And I love the wheelbarrow idea too. I have a wheelbarrow in the “Here I’m Happy” book. It would be cool for the wheelbarrow to have a re-appearance in this one 🙂
                I’ll play around with that idea. Thanks again!

                I’m working on some character design for the tea party guests. Here is Ms. Bunny bellow.

                4E7BC0EA-95B3-41D9-84D2-155F17EFF8D7.jpeg

                https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                Miriam kirsten-mcg 2 Replies Last reply 24 Nov 2022, 05:21 Reply Quote 2
                • Miriam
                  Miriam @Elizabeth Rose last edited by 24 Nov 2022, 03:35

                  @Elizabeth-Rose said in Tight Deadline! New Book Project. Feedback Much Appreciated!:

                  Garden sheds are usually interesting too.

                  Yes, they seem like they could be full of all kinds of interesting & useful things.

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                  • kirsten-mcg
                    kirsten-mcg @Elizabeth Rose last edited by 24 Nov 2022, 05:21

                    @Elizabeth-Rose she’s so cute!

                    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kirsten.mcgonigal.art/
                    Portfolio Site: www.kirstenmcgonigalart.com

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • Elizabeth Rose
                      Elizabeth Rose last edited by 25 Nov 2022, 03:32

                      And here is Miss Mousy Tidbit

                      4C454882-1085-4C8C-8DE9-7F65DCCEE8DE.jpeg

                      https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                      https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                      https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                      • Elizabeth Rose
                        Elizabeth Rose last edited by 28 Nov 2022, 13:53

                        Character design for Lady Skunk (she is the sassy friend)

                        585220DF-19C9-446A-AEAA-CF06F71EA546.jpeg

                        https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                        https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                        https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                        ArtistErin 1 Reply Last reply 29 Nov 2022, 17:32 Reply Quote 0
                        • ArtistErin
                          ArtistErin @Elizabeth Rose last edited by 29 Nov 2022, 17:32

                          @Elizabeth-Rose Love all your characters!! 🙂

                          Erin Richardson
                          instagram.com/erinrichardsondesigns21
                          www.erinrichardsondesigns.com

                          Elizabeth Rose 1 Reply Last reply 29 Nov 2022, 17:34 Reply Quote 1
                          • Elizabeth Rose
                            Elizabeth Rose @ArtistErin last edited by 29 Nov 2022, 17:34

                            @ArtistErin thanks! They are fun to draw up 🙂

                            https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                            https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                            https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                            • Elizabeth Rose
                              Elizabeth Rose last edited by 3 Dec 2022, 01:06

                              And here we have an introduction to Little Miss Lady Raccoon. I think I’ll try redoing her paws holding the parasol though. They seem not quite right to me. Anybody else feel that way too?

                              55C941F7-C1F3-4A76-90D4-3E2707B0EBF4.jpeg

                              https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                              https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                              https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                              ArtistErin 1 Reply Last reply 3 Dec 2022, 02:35 Reply Quote 2
                              • ArtistErin
                                ArtistErin @Elizabeth Rose last edited by 3 Dec 2022, 02:35

                                @Elizabeth-Rose I found some images and thought they resembled somewhat the look you are after, would this help? If they were delicate and ladylike to match your character's demeanor that would make more sense I think. a54886fb-8535-4985-bd59-8007410e9f6c-image.png
                                040f0a24-c660-400a-8a5d-add07cfc8e85-image.png

                                Erin Richardson
                                instagram.com/erinrichardsondesigns21
                                www.erinrichardsondesigns.com

                                Elizabeth Rose 1 Reply Last reply 5 Dec 2022, 15:49 Reply Quote 1
                                • Elizabeth Rose
                                  Elizabeth Rose @ArtistErin last edited by 5 Dec 2022, 15:49

                                  @ArtistErin Oh, Thank you! Those are helpful!

                                  https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                                  https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                                  https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • Elizabeth Rose
                                    Elizabeth Rose last edited by 10 Dec 2022, 03:11

                                    And here I introduce to you. Miss Mulberry Gen. She is the rascally friend out of Little Squirrels friends.

                                    4B4578DA-E0A7-4C35-B60D-82955AA4615E.jpeg

                                    https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                                    https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                                    https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                                    ArtistErin 1 Reply Last reply 31 Dec 2022, 20:19 Reply Quote 1
                                    • Elizabeth Rose
                                      Elizabeth Rose last edited by 26 Dec 2022, 00:34

                                      Merry Christmas everyone! I hope it’s been a wonderful week.

                                      I’ve not been able to figure out what to name Little Squirrel’s friend Miss little Sassy Sunk. So I’ve asked for suggestions on social media and I’ve gotten a wonderful collection of sassy names.

                                      Here is the list I’ve picked and mixed from all the name suggestions:

                                      1. Dandelion Pearl
                                      2. Daisy Lace
                                      3. Scarlet Bell
                                      4. Violet Antonella
                                      5. Holly Daphne
                                      6. Gwendolyn Rose

                                      Everyone feel free to vote your favorite name bellow! I will also be gathering votes from my social medias too.

                                      F00955F4-2D5D-4360-BEA9-ECA303FA7EB1.jpeg

                                      https://elizabethrosehoffman.com/
                                      https://www.instagram.com/elizabethrosehoffmanart/
                                      https://linktr.ee/elizabethrosehoffman

                                      Chantal Goetheer Jean Watson kirsten-mcg 3 Replies Last reply 1 Jan 2023, 05:07 Reply Quote 1
                                      • Chantal Goetheer
                                        Chantal Goetheer @Elizabeth Rose last edited by 26 Dec 2022, 12:51

                                        @Elizabeth-Rose I like nr 2 and 6. 2 is the easiest to read out loud. I always find it hard to name. Our cat was called cat...

                                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • Jean Watson
                                          Jean Watson @Elizabeth Rose last edited by 26 Dec 2022, 18:54

                                          @Elizabeth-Rose Daisy Lace gets my vote. 🙂

                                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                          16 out of 87
                                          • First post
                                            16/87
                                            Last post