April 3rd, Octopus dress up
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Hi, I am super new at posting any artwork to a forum, please excuse me if I get them wrong. I wanted to go under the sea for this one. If I could get a little feedback on my composition, that would be amazing. Thank you in advance!!
Have a wonderful night!
Kami
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Looks pretty sweet. What is the mermaid looking at?
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At first it was a button, however, I might make it something else. I want it to be something clever and witty. Maybe a fish hook with fishing line.
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I would move the mermaids tail away from the octopus sitting on the stool. It almost looks like part of his hat.
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Just an idea. What if the the octopus has a fish hook and line stuck in it's tentacle and the mermaid is getting a tool out of the chest to help cut the hook and line. Just thinking it might add a bit to the story telling....or if a hook in the tentacle is too graphic perhaps the hook is stuck in his hat and she's trying to help him get it out....Anyway just a thought I think the illustration is very nice just can be punched up a notch with some kind of story. I also agree with Chip about the tail.
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Thank you very much! I will defiantly take your advise.. I did have her tail pointing up but was afraid that it would take your eye off the page, I will play with some different angles. The hook in the hat is a very good idea. Thank you again for your feedback, I really appreciate it.
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The best tool in the world sometimes are your hands. I decided to take out the other octopus and add in a turtle instead. Her pose wasn't making much sense so I fixed it so that the octopus on her head needed her help. I have never colored this style before but I was really liking the way it was turning out. I was having a little trouble with the lighting so I will play with it some more. I wanted to throw it up here to see if anyone else wouldn't mind commenting on it.
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Hey, the turtle is cute but I think your first version was better. Now you are missing your tool box that she is suppose to be pulling just the right tool for the job out of. I did a quick moving around of some stuff in Photoshop to show one possible solution. It's not perfect either but I think you could do something like this to make that first version work. That octopus was just so cute it would be ashamed to cut him out.
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Ok, I like what you did. I will try that. Thank you so much. I didn't save over my sketch so I can go back to the original.
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Thank you for all your
help.. I took your advice and this is what I came up with. I redid her face a little to give her more of a worried look. I moved her tail up and moved the line to go up but at a diagonal. This way it will give it a more interesting negative space and hopefully not an eye trap. lol. Let me know what you think of this one. I will color after I feel it is done in this stage. -
So I was sitting here looking at this picture, I started to notice that this character was a little
to calm for having a painful hook through his arm. I had to redraw the character. Let me know if you feel the energy, urgency and tension from this character. -
Definitely has move movement and urgency. Poor octopus!
I do feel like the octopus's gesture makes it look as if it is being pulled to the right, but the line is pulling up and even slightly to the left. I think the pose would make more sense if the line was going off toward the right side of the page.
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Your totally right, I saw it also last night and kinda fixed it along with adding a little bit more. Thank you for your feedback. I really appreciate it.
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I think you are heading in the right direction. The only thing I can see is that fishing line is kind of directing the attention out of the image instead of directing me back into it especially with the new octopus already pulling my attention off the page. It does look very nice though very cute....You might try just flipping the octopus the other way and see if that works.
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@KamiLyon Hey KamiLyon - this is looking good! - i had a couple thoughts and just did a cut and paste to show what i was thinking - this may not be the right direction but i though it was worth exploring - i think scale is the main thing for me that i wanted to change - making something bigger in the composition - also the stool did seemed a little out of place - i stretched the octopus out quite a bit to make it look like it was straining - and tweaked the tail and where the neck meets the head too - not sure if this is helpful like i say - just wanted to share my thoughts
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I like your concept! Nice idea!
My main problem is understanding why there is an octopus wrapped around the mermaids hair? What's he trying to do?
Perhaps the 2nd octopus could be drawn to appear in between the mermaid and the octopus who is in trouble, where the 2nd octopus is pointing/motioning at the one caught on the hook, and maybe trying to get the mermaid to hurry up and free the one in distress? could have one of it's arms wrapped around her left arm?
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I want to thank all the feedback I have received, I really appreciate it. This is the first time I have done a forum and just in this little picture it has taught me quite a bit. I have revised my sketch and have taking everyone's advice to heart. To answer Nancy's questions about the octopus in her hair, he is holding her hair back and helping her find the right tool. I have changed the main octopus to appear as if she is digging in her heels and trying her best to get free. I realized in the first sketch she was just hanging there limp like "whatever" I wanted to work on more emotion and having that come through my drawing. Once again Thank you for all the feedback. Here is my newest revision! Next time I will be drawing at least three comps first.
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I like it
You've got a little bit of a tangent where the octopus's top arm and the corner of the the treasure chest and the corral he's holding onto....Just make the chest a little deeper so the arm and coral overlap it a bit more. -
Oh Thank you , I was trying to keep that from happing. I will fix that right now.
