September 3rd Thursday Sketch

[drawingmelee]

My idea for September 3rd Thursday: a mouse is unaware of the danger behind him while he is reaching for a tasty apple.... Let me know what you think

[AWall]

This is so simple and adorable.

[Chip Valecek]

@drawingmelee If you brought the snakes head a little closer to the mouse it would give the piece more tension. The mouse is very cute, poor lil guy.

[smceccarelli]

Simple and very effective design!

[drawingmelee]

@Chip-Valecek Thanks for the tip! I'll try that!

[drawingmelee]

I tweaked the drawing a bit and moved the snake closer to the mouse.

[Chip Valecek]

Yes yes, I like that one very much!

[Eric Castleman]

I think you nailed it, and convinced me that my designs are too complicated, resulting in making my life harder good job!

[drawingmelee]

Thanks everyone!

@Eric-Castleman : You're designs look amazing! Your drawings convince me I should practise harder!

[Lisa M Griffin]

I like the revised sketch... much better with the position of the snake and his expression.

[evilrobot]

@drawingmelee really cool idea this will look great when it's colored. It's simple but to the point. Very nice. You might consider moving the pupil in the snakes eye down and over just a bit. Where it is right now looks as if he may be looking past the mouse. Also it might be nice to give him the typical snake tongue like you had in your thumbnail sketch.

[drawingmelee]

@evilrobot Thanks for the tips!

[drawingmelee]

Progress update (still rendering; hope to have it finished tomorrow!)

[Chip Valecek]

@drawingmelee I would watch your values on this. I like to add a Hue/Saturation layer on top of my work and then pull the saturation level all the way down. While I work i will turn that off and on to make sure everything still reads. I did with this and you will see that the mouse gets lost as well as the snake and bush are close in the same values. I would try to make the bush darker and the snake and mouse lighter.

[natiwata]

This is a great concept! I think the joke is great and the piece is coming along nicely. I thought I'd post an idea for playing with a more interesting composition, one where we could see the the mouse's expression more and have the feeling of the snake sneaking up in the background. There are a lot of ways you could stage this, but it was fun to try another approach. Hope it helps just get even more creative juices flowing!

[drawingmelee]

@Chip-Valecek : Thanks for the tip about values, I always forget! I adjusted the values as much as I could.

@natiwata: O wow, that composition is so much better! Thanks for the tip, it helps a lot! Unfortunately I don't have any time left to make a better comp.

Here is my final drawing, unfortunately no time left for more tweaking. But the tips here have been extremely helpful and I will try to use them for the next third Thursday! You guys rock!

[Jan Clifton Watford]

I had this idea but then realized when I reread the prompt that it might be too confusing because the guy, Thomas, needs to be closer to the bear and reaching for the marshmallow that is ready to eat. Should I eliminate the girl completely or just switch her with the guy character (Thomas)?
I have a couple of other ideas too but realize they don't fit the prompt as well.

Any feedback is appreciated.