Of his bones are coral made
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@Kevin-Longueil This is looking really great! The drawing is fantastic and the atmosphere it generates is very interesting.
I have some thoughts about the composition...(I think it's much better with the second mermaid added back in btw). I think it could help a lot if you cropped outwards a bit to the right, and to the top - it would give the second mermaid more space and remove that tangent of the tail against the edge of the page. If you crop out at the top it puts the diver more in that sweet spot of the 'third' part of the composition, makes the boat heavier and draws the eye up. I also put clear white between the mermaid and the boat, to improve the silhouette and if you have more contrast up there it makes it more clear that it's the main focal point, and all the rest is just sweeping up to that point in that lovely S shape you've created. The last thing is I made a slight curve of the swooshy bit on the left side, just to increase the whirlpool feel.
I meant to say I really like the S shape and also the copper fishes - I would not have guessed that you would make them copper coloured, but copper/aqua is visually very nice to look at, and fish are rather metallic...also love the dappled light effect on the fishes.
This is all personal opinion though, feel free to ignore the suggestions - it is looking really nice already!
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@Dulcie You nailed it Dulcie! - that is exactly what i am working on
i was trying to stay in A4 and didn't want to reduce the size of the main mermaid - i realized that was really holding me back this morning and was what was giving the second mermaid a forced look - i did not think of adding more headroom though like you have done - i shifted everything to the top left and gave more room to the right and bottom - i like what you have done much better - thank you so much for your advice - and taking the time - my pieces always benefit from it -
I love those changes you made, Dulcie! The only thing I'd add to that is to have the coppery fish wrap around the diver on the edge of the left side (that little space that's aqua to his left right now) so that the swoosh of fishies don't lead your eye off the page.
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I like the changes that have been made. @Dulcie's suggestions are great. I love the flow and feel of the piece. Very lovely.
Twitter: @Joy_Illustrated
Instagram: joy_illustrated
Website: joyheyer.com -
Looking really good, I think the composition is strong. Cant wait to see further development.
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@Joy-Heyer @Kelly-Lane Thank you Joy and Kelly! - appreciate the feedback - not sure i will have this done by Wednesday morning (still working on cleaning up the scales)...but i'm trying - here is where i am now - just cleaning up my forms and lines - just have a few hundred fish to draw after that - or maybe draw twenty or so and suggest the rest
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It's looking ever more beautiful with each pass. Be careful not to have the detail (the scales) detract from the focal point (the face, normally) - as you certainly know, detail density influences the focal point.
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@smceccarelli Thank you for the heads up Simona always appreciated! - i'm hoping to use lighting in a way that will allow me to not define her features too much beyond cleaning up what is there - i'm thinking my last thumbnail is pretty close to what i have in mind - i think the scales seem secondary in that composition. i have a feeling i'll keep working on this beyond 3rd Thursday though if it does not turn out
P.S. my wife just walked up and said "it's looking great... i think her face needs more definition" LOL
here she is with a bit more detail
so much work left to do ... how did 3rd Thursday come so fast?
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@Kevin-Longueil The finish on this turned out fantastic! Great work again.
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@Kevin-Longueil Going to reply here, but referring to your finished piece in the other thread - fantastic work! Really love the amendments you have made. I think the storytelling in the final piece is working really well....particularly because you've made the fish look menacing, there's now a real sense of danger for the diver and that really works with the 3rd Thursday prompt, as he's about to reach the boat... If I'm understanding the story correctly, the diver has been spearing fish, but now with the mermaid's encouragement, the fish are going to bite back...hope I've interpreted correctly! ...very nice work overall. Will look great in your portfolio
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@evilrobot Thank you William! Looking forward to tomorrow - so many great pieces this month! I'm hoping we all get a few minutes of critique again - that would be great - either way though i think we both(and many others) have new pieces to add to our portfolios
@Dulcie Thank you Dulcie! That is exactly the story I am hoping it is coming across to folks - i'm also hoping that Thomas escapes at least with his life - he was just fishing after all - he just picked the wrong place to do it - Thank you again for your critiques on this piece - invaluable as always!
@smceccarelli i had convinced myself that one mermaid was the way to go - but your voice kept telling me not to be lazy (not your words of course) and just keep struggling till i get it - so thank you!
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Added a bit of color to the fish - tried to be restrained - would love to hear if you like it better without the color or not - i'm a bit torn which to put on my portfolio site - looking forward to tonights broadcast - cannot seem to find the link to gotomeeting - does anyone know where i should be looking? i'm sure it will pop up somewhere - Good luck to everyone tonight!
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Definitely with color! It adds so much richness to the image!The caustics really pop now.
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@Kevin-Longueil Love the added color on the fish Kevin. It really does add a level of refinement and interest. I feel like it also adds to the fluid movement and shows your eyes where to go.
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@Kevin-Longueil the link for tonights meeting is: https://global.gotomeeting.com/join/743170157
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@smceccarelli @Rich-Green Thank you both for your opinions on this! I will swap out the monochrome version for this one on my web portfolio - thanks again i really appreciate it
(and thank you for the link Rich!) -
I love how this turned out; so mysterious. Congrats on the mention!
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@Suzy-Heitz Thank you Suzy - i like how yours turned out too!
