Society of Visual Storytelling

    SVSLearn Forums

    • Register
    • Login
    • Search
    • Recent
    • Tags
    • Popular
    • Users
    • Groups
    • Search

    WIP Uncle Carl Has a Chicken......Please critique!

    General Discussion
    5
    17
    2825
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • MOO
      MOO SVS OG @Will Terry last edited by MOO

      @Will-Terry Here's a rough sketch. Does this look better? Are the legs too wonky? I really want it to be coming head on as much as possible for effect so I am trying to do that but still show the body off to the side a little as you said. Those legs are hard to stick on there 🙂

      The book is a counting book. Uncle Carl has chickens that keep coming to roost on him. At the end, there are no more chickens left and you think it's over but.....oh oh! Heer comes the cow! so this is kind of a surprise finale (almost) that I want the reader to say "Woah!" Oh no! Now the cow's coming!"

      Do you think I could make the head even bigger..and maybe up a little higher? Would that work better?
      I would love to have a huge head staring at the reader 🙂

      0_1495330072087_18558865_10212027607019001_906242895298784078_o.jpg

      Marsha Ottum Owen

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • will-terry-art
        will-terry-art last edited by

        Hi Marsha - I would try to make the front legs a little bigger to show the foreshortening...This is probably one of the hardest things you could possibly try to do as an illustrator - mostly because you can't get good reference. Personally I wouldn't try it myself because I don't think I could pull it off...I realize this probably isn't what you want to hear but it's the truth...here's my lame attempt and I wouldn't use this 🙂0_1495511062541_1495330074288-18558865_10212027607019001_906242895298784078_o.jpg

        Will Terry

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
        • MOO
          MOO SVS OG last edited by

          Thanks! I'm stubborn so I will keep trying to find a way. Your legs look a lot better than mine. I thought sticking them out straight would make it crazier . I see what you mean though. I really appreciate your taking time ot try and help me. I'll post more trys. You can look at them if you want to but I know you're busy.

          Marsha Ottum Owen

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • W
            WhiteboardJim last edited by

            @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen I love the idea of the legs moving forward to express the crazy, I've been watching a ton of the past 3rd Thursday Critiques on Youtube as I can and the three greats we revere so much often say the three quarter view is of great importance and push the expression and angle as much as possible. I might try to use @Will-Terry 's suggestion with making the legs bigger but keep them pushing out, just as another try in a thumbnail or concept size sketch. Keep working hard and these will progress.

            MOO 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • MOO
              MOO SVS OG @WhiteboardJim last edited by

              @WhiteboardJim Thanks. I actually did a head with no body but just front feet to see if that would work. I really want that cow to be a certain way for the effect I want.....I'm going to try something and will post it to see what the comments tell me. Thanks for your encouragement!

              Marsha Ottum Owen

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • MOO
                MOO SVS OG @WhiteboardJim last edited by

                @WhiteboardJim 0_1495676417214_18739656_1936135916671888_7821837291238458213_n.jpg 0_1495676421671_18740623_1936135890005224_6754987277518696109_n.jpg 0_1495676425816_18620451_1936135900005223_5028922468152829179_n.jpg

                Marsha Ottum Owen

                MOO 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                • MOO
                  MOO SVS OG @MOO last edited by

                  This one is really light but, I'm thinking it might eb the solution if the background is done right! I won't have to worry about the body at all!

                  0_1495676718757_18620865_10212060785888452_6233789365181755219_o.jpg

                  Marsha Ottum Owen

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • MOO
                    MOO SVS OG @Will Terry last edited by MOO

                    @Will-Terry How about if I do something like this (WIP)0_1495701684826_18700535_10212062590173558_5686347657857937274_o.jpg I got rid of the body altogether and surrounded it with "action" and just the front hooves. Still figuring out the debris, etc. in the background. In the end, it is going to be a double page spread with "Here comes the COW! on the lefthand side. The word COW is filling the page and would have the background like this with feathers, etc. flying all over. I've also thought of letting the ears fly back......

                    Marsha Ottum Owen

                    aska 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • aska
                      aska @MOO last edited by

                      @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen brilliant solution:-) I would probably add more chaos, where the body should be

                      Aska
                      www.mugaska.com
                      https://www.instagram.com/mugaska/
                      https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/mugaska

                      MOO 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • MOO
                        MOO SVS OG @aska last edited by MOO

                        @aska Still working on it. Here's what I did today but I see a few things I need to fix. The eyes look stuck on and flat and I need to lighten things up around them to make them look better...I think. I'm sure ther are other problems I'm not seeing right now. I need a break! 🙂 The line down the one eye isn't actually on the pictuer. It happened when I snapped the photo. Don't know what it is...just a weird fluke.

                        0_1495743884931_18700666_10212066657635242_4960949306333113501_o.jpg

                        I just posted a better, new improved version again. The hooves don't look so much like mushrooms and the eyes are a bit better 🙂

                        Marsha Ottum Owen

                        MOO 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • MOO
                          MOO SVS OG @MOO last edited by

                          @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen 0_1495747462494_18671544_1936555299963283_8801467943458973572_o.jpg

                          Marsha Ottum Owen

                          aska 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • aska
                            aska @MOO last edited by

                            @Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen defenietly take a break! Its good to step away n do smth else. Looking good tho, but if u dont break u might spoil it;) i would probably add a bit darker areas on the cow, just like the cow with mushroom legs;)

                            Aska
                            www.mugaska.com
                            https://www.instagram.com/mugaska/
                            https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/mugaska

                            MOO 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • MOO
                              MOO SVS OG @aska last edited by

                              @aska Yes, I need to do a lot more to build teh contrast, etc. I am ready to leave it alone 🙂 Thanks!

                              Marsha Ottum Owen

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                              • First post
                                Last post