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    Feedback on composition

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    • J
      Javier Algarra @Lee White last edited by

      @Lee-White Thanks! I really like that pose, but I will try a couple more.

      https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

      Chip Valecek 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • Chip Valecek
        Chip Valecek SVS Team SVS OG @Javier Algarra last edited by

        @Javier-Algarra I think if you rotate him so his head is in front of his feet it would feel more natural.


        https://www.instagram.com/chipvalecek/
        https://www.facebook.com/cvalecek
        http://www.cshellmedia.com/

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        • Lee White
          Lee White SVS Team SVS Instructor Pro SVS OG last edited by Lee White

          I think the problem is that pose looks like it's right in between an out of control jump, and a dive. His feet being forward is the problem. So you need to figure out if this guy is in control or not, and then design the pose accordingly. Right now it's right in the middle of the two so it doesn't work as well as it could. If he's out of control, make him REALLY out of control. If he's in control, that needs to show as well.

          Here's some samples of cannonballs, bellyflops, etc.
          0_1496696698876_91849745.jpg 1_1496696686011_Unknown.jpeg 0_1496696686011_belly-flop-1.jpg

          SVS Faculty Instructor
          www.leewhiteillustration.com

          Chip Valecek 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • Chip Valecek
            Chip Valecek SVS Team SVS OG @Lee White last edited by

            @Lee-White oh that bottom picture... ouch


            https://www.instagram.com/chipvalecek/
            https://www.facebook.com/cvalecek
            http://www.cshellmedia.com/

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • Eric Castleman
              Eric Castleman last edited by

              Yes, I agree with Lee. I thought the character was going upwards like he was jumping on a trampoline. The cannonball pose would really work much better imho.

              EricCastleman.com

              SCBWI profile
              https://www.scbwi.org/members-public/eric-castleman

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              • Lee White
                Lee White SVS Team SVS Instructor Pro SVS OG last edited by

                maybe like this idea...0_1496697132065_1496692126949-patio.jpg

                SVS Faculty Instructor
                www.leewhiteillustration.com

                J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                • J
                  Javier Algarra @Lee White last edited by

                  @Lee-White Amazing! That actually works a lot better. I think Im going to try that pose. Thanks!

                  https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • J
                    Javier Algarra last edited by

                    OK, I reworked it with different poses:

                    0_1496705985430_Patio2.png
                    1_1496705985433_Patio3.png
                    2_1496705985433_Patio5.png

                    The first and second are the same, just with different angles. I think the second one works the best, but I'm having doubts with the height of the jump. I think it's too high, but at the same time if I lower the jump, it may brake the composition. I think I'd rather have more of an unrealistic jump that works, than the other way around.

                    https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

                    NoWayMe 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • NoWayMe
                      NoWayMe @Javier Algarra last edited by

                      @Javier-Algarra Great work!! I would go with #2 or #3, I like both!

                      One thing, I know it's not a final sketch and maybe you are planning to change that already, but the head of your characters (especially the 2 guys at the table and the lady in the water) are really big! I would make them significantly smaller!

                      Otherwise, it looks good!

                      noemiegionetlandry.squarespace.com
                      noemie_illustration on Instagram

                      J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • J
                        Javier Algarra @NoWayMe last edited by

                        @NoWayMe Thanks! Yeah I noticed the heads sizes, it's a problem I constantly have, the lady in the water is actually a little girl, that's why the big head 🙂

                        https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • MOO
                          MOO SVS OG @Javier Algarra last edited by MOO

                          @Javier-Algarra You're welcome. I guess Lee knows better though...good thing he saw it! 🙂

                          Marsha Ottum Owen

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • T
                            Tyler Hallstrom last edited by

                            This is something small in comparison to the main action of the character jumping, but the girl the glasses appears to be the only character not looking at him jump. Yet the way she is adjusting her glasses makes it seem as though she has been startled by what I can presume in the announcement of a cannonball. Value wise I think you are set for a nice composition as well. Nice work on that.

                            Tyler J. Hallstrom
                            One Drawing at a Time.
                            https://www.tylerjhallstrom.com/

                            J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • J
                              Javier Algarra @Tyler Hallstrom last edited by

                              @Tyler-Hallstrom Yes! That was the idea. I think it'll look better with the details:
                              0_1496721795765_PatioGirl.png

                              https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

                              T 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • T
                                Tyler Hallstrom @Javier Algarra last edited by

                                @Javier-Algarra Excellent! Just what I was thinking, this will look really nice once it is fleshed out.

                                Tyler J. Hallstrom
                                One Drawing at a Time.
                                https://www.tylerjhallstrom.com/

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