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    Feedback on composition

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    • Eric Castleman
      Eric Castleman last edited by

      Yes, I agree with Lee. I thought the character was going upwards like he was jumping on a trampoline. The cannonball pose would really work much better imho.

      EricCastleman.com

      SCBWI profile
      https://www.scbwi.org/members-public/eric-castleman

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      • Lee White
        Lee White SVS Team SVS Instructor Pro SVS OG last edited by

        maybe like this idea...0_1496697132065_1496692126949-patio.jpg

        SVS Faculty Instructor
        www.leewhiteillustration.com

        J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
        • J
          Javier Algarra @Lee White last edited by

          @Lee-White Amazing! That actually works a lot better. I think Im going to try that pose. Thanks!

          https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

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          • J
            Javier Algarra last edited by

            OK, I reworked it with different poses:

            0_1496705985430_Patio2.png
            1_1496705985433_Patio3.png
            2_1496705985433_Patio5.png

            The first and second are the same, just with different angles. I think the second one works the best, but I'm having doubts with the height of the jump. I think it's too high, but at the same time if I lower the jump, it may brake the composition. I think I'd rather have more of an unrealistic jump that works, than the other way around.

            https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

            NoWayMe 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • NoWayMe
              NoWayMe @Javier Algarra last edited by

              @Javier-Algarra Great work!! I would go with #2 or #3, I like both!

              One thing, I know it's not a final sketch and maybe you are planning to change that already, but the head of your characters (especially the 2 guys at the table and the lady in the water) are really big! I would make them significantly smaller!

              Otherwise, it looks good!

              noemiegionetlandry.squarespace.com
              noemie_illustration on Instagram

              J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • J
                Javier Algarra @NoWayMe last edited by

                @NoWayMe Thanks! Yeah I noticed the heads sizes, it's a problem I constantly have, the lady in the water is actually a little girl, that's why the big head 🙂

                https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

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                • MOO
                  MOO SVS OG @Javier Algarra last edited by MOO

                  @Javier-Algarra You're welcome. I guess Lee knows better though...good thing he saw it! 🙂

                  Marsha Ottum Owen

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                  • T
                    Tyler Hallstrom last edited by

                    This is something small in comparison to the main action of the character jumping, but the girl the glasses appears to be the only character not looking at him jump. Yet the way she is adjusting her glasses makes it seem as though she has been startled by what I can presume in the announcement of a cannonball. Value wise I think you are set for a nice composition as well. Nice work on that.

                    Tyler J. Hallstrom
                    One Drawing at a Time.
                    https://www.tylerjhallstrom.com/

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                    • J
                      Javier Algarra @Tyler Hallstrom last edited by

                      @Tyler-Hallstrom Yes! That was the idea. I think it'll look better with the details:
                      0_1496721795765_PatioGirl.png

                      https://www.instagram.com/javier.algarra64

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                      • T
                        Tyler Hallstrom @Javier Algarra last edited by

                        @Javier-Algarra Excellent! Just what I was thinking, this will look really nice once it is fleshed out.

                        Tyler J. Hallstrom
                        One Drawing at a Time.
                        https://www.tylerjhallstrom.com/

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