Dorothy 2.0 (WIP)- working on feedback from Will, Lee, and Jake (updated)
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In the Third Thursday Critique video from from August 2016 (i know .. that is a while ago
i got some really awesome feedback from the SVS team - the most prominent of which was that my Dorothy was too old and needed to be younger - i feel like i am more confident with faces now and i'm giving it a go - i posted this work in progress on my site and am wondering what folks thoughts might be (they are side-by-side there) kevinlongueil.com. .. was wondering too if one of you might have the time (no worries if you do not), if you think this is looking better than the original? @Will-Terry @Lee-White @Jake-Parker
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I really really like both. I love the smudgy effect you ha e on the hair of the original. That said, the newer Dorothy definitely looks younger, and I think it works better for the character. The original looks late teen/early 20s to me, while your update looks more tween-aged. Nicely done
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@kevin-longueil , this looks great. She definitely looks the right age. I love it. I do wonder why there is a circle on her forehead though.
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@sarah-luann Thank you for the feedback Sara-luann! I was worried i'd gone off the rails a bit with this - it is good to hear that you think this is working better for the character. I like the loose smudgy feel of the original too and also the strangeness of it somehow but i think i will keep working on this new one - Thanks again
@Marsha-Kay-Ottum-Owen Thank you for your feedback Marsha! I am so glad to hear she is looking the right age to both you and Sara- luann - the circle is something that occurs in the book - the Witch of the North puts her mark on Dorothy's forehead to give her protection her on her travels - it is described as being a circle though but i need to come up with a better representation of it
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@kevin-longueil I agree, she is looking the right age and looks great! I think it still has a nice element of smudginess. I like her expression a lot.
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@kevin-longueil Oh! I never knew that about the circle. Thanks.
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@eli Thank you Eli! I'll keep going with it for sure - need to work on Toto a bit too - started tinkering with modifying Glinda today also - my daughter is not pleased - she is 7 years old and an excellent critic ... I asked her how my new Glinda was looking and she said "well at least Grandma has a copy of the good one that you did" .. ouch.. but I'll keep pugging away at it
Thank you again for the feedback -
I think the new Dorothy is much better in my opinion and looks beautifully kept within your stlye. 1 slight concern is that she doesn't feel so innocent as I would expect from a dorothy due to her almost smug expression (more like a Veruca salt than a Judy Garland)
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The thing I see is the material is really well rendered toto is really well rendered also so my eye goes to them and not Dorothy's face? Why not complete the picture and render her face the same way as the rest? (p.s. i think your works great just my thought)
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@gary-wilkinson Thank you for your feedback Gary! It is very reassuring to here that the new Dorothy is working much better - I definitely need to get her micro-expressions in a better place - I do want her to have a "knowing" expression but not in a way that seems smug - they can be closely linked - I think it is mostly the turn of her mouth that is bothering us - I will definitely get that sorted out! Thank you again
@Jason-Bowen Thank you Jason! It is definitely a work in progress and in need of a lot of work - I posted it at this stage hoping to find out if this version of Dorothy was working better with the rest of the series for folks or not - thank you again for the feedback and kind words! -
This definitely looks better. The rounder face gives it a younger look. Great work!
Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA -
@kevin-longueil I don't think she looks smug. I like her expression, and I definitely get the "knowing" vibe. It has a slightly dark feel. I love that and think it is in keeping with your other Oz pieces. Also that's hilarious about your daughter's comment. Ouch indeed!
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@kevin-longueil oh sorry I dived in too early.
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@nyrryl-cadiz Thank you Nyrryl! I appreciate your feedback
@Eli Thank you again Eli - I'm glad you are seeing the slightly dark feel too - that is how I feel about these really:)
@Jason-Bowen Jason - You did not jump in too early - I think when putting Work In Progress images up for comment and critique folks may point out things that we have just not gotten to yet as needing work - but there is no harm in that and there is no way to know what someone may plan on fixing or not so I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts - I am hoping that I did not seem dismissive of your feedback! -
@kevin-longueil Not at all, stop trying to out gentleman me haha
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Ha, ha! I just happened to watch that 3rd Thurs. on YouTube today, and then I saw this post. So the timing worked great for me, at least!
(I joined SVS less than a year ago, and hadn't seen that one yet.)I like this version of Dorothy much better! Her age is appropriate & I like the new face and hair. I like that you are basing the illustrations on the book rather than the film. Great job on applying the feedback and on your progress in improving your skills!
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@miriam Thank you Miriam! - i really appreciate your feedback
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Here is an update of Dorothy 2.0 - mostly worked on the eyes a bit - i think she is looking better - i also started working on ideas for the cover - i'm thinking i should stick with the portraits and not make an illustration that does not reflect the format of the contents - these are my first ideas but i'm thinking now maybe limit the cover to a few of the main images?
Edit: (Just sneaking an updated image into this post - Toto is starting to come together
here are my first cover ideas - i'm thinking that not thinking primarily about text is a real noob mistake.... i'll keep at it though
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@kevin-longueil
If you have all the pictures on the cover, I feel like they have less impact when the reader comes across them in the book, so you might want to save something for them to discover inside.Dorothy is looking good!
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@kevin-longueil for some reason I feel that the cover should almost be blank and a dark green color with the text. Something simple. The work you did is amazing.
