A porch full of alarm clocks
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Hi there! I'm a new SVS student and yearlong fan of Will Terry's YouTube channel. I thought I'd I take a swing at the Stanley Prompt for January. My concept is Stanley runs outside to find his porch covered in alarm clocks all ringing in unison chaos.
I'm struggling with the value at the moment, I think it may be a bit too dark. Also, As I start adding light and cast shadows I hope that the commotion will be more obvious in the alarm clocks. Critique is appreciated!
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Hi Cydney, I really like the concept you've made in this one. The story is not really clear to me though. Who is the figure on the right-side and whats he doing? I like the idea of the clocks, but there not ringing? they look still. Is it a trapp? Maybe Its just me, thats not getting it, or ask others what they think and than adjust. Perhaps Stanley is already out of the door, holding his ears, looking scary, or disrupted? That might give more life to it. See if you can find this helpful, I am sure that you'll make the best out of it! Cheers, Leontine
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Hi @Leontine,
Thank you for your feedback! After showing this to a few more people I noticed there was a lot of confusion about the squirrel character on the right.I had hoped the acorns on the alarm clocks and the fact that she was plugging in the extension cord to one of the electric alarm clocks would help connect her to the story, but her shape must not be very legible. I will work on that :).
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@Cyd Hello Cyd - this is really a nice drawing - you really have a nice style! - i though i would share my reaction to the piece in case there is any value in it - i could not figure out the squirrel myself - i tried to make sense of but could not - here are some of the things that i think threw me off - i did not see the outlet as an outlet...i saw it as an ornate door handle being grasped by an unknown creature - it is obvious now though - so i think how high the outlet is made it not a choice for my little brain to make - usually outlet are close to the ground. i think the reticulated pattern of the wall is a bit of a confusing factor also - it is very giraffe-like and added to the mystery for me - if there were other outlets with clocks having been plugged in i think that would help - nearly all are wind up though - i love the lighting and the story and your draftsmanship for sure....just making the story clearer is what needs to happen....i know you now this - but how - i am picturing a character design project here - where we see the squirrel and he is winding the alarm clock - he could be looking back at Stanley so his intent is still a mystery because we cannot see his expression ( i like that idea personally :)) - another idea would be to situate the outlet just above a counter..like in the kitchen and have the squirrel clearly on the counter putting the plug into the outlet...but i don't think there is enough of a connection made between the idea of the plug and the alarm clocks.....so maybe more plugged in clocks here and there.....i think i am repeating myself now ... realy looks great - looking forward to the next step!
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Hi Cyd. I love this idea and Stanley's foot sticking out. I'm wondering if the extension cord is completely necessary? The classic alarm clock reads better. And if you just plug in an electric alarm clock all it will do is flash 12:00
I guess that could be annoying in it's own way. You could turn the squirrel around to face the viewer and have his back up against a wall or porch post, smiling mischievously. He could have big ear muffs on. Just a thought. -
I love the rendering and I love the concept and I love the layout - all are done really well...but I have to agree with the things everyone else said - I had no idea that was a squirrel until you mentioned it and I had to really look for the acorns, even after you'd mentioned it. I think answering some questions will help you to flesh out the story a little more...Why is the squirrel plugging in the alarm clock? Was he the one who put the clocks there? If so, why (Do he and Stanley have a contentious relationship, where they're always trying to annoy each other?)? I'm not understanding the connection between the squirrel and the alarm clocks, but if you can make the viewer understand that connection, this piece will be awesome! Also, I'd rather see someone's face in this - either Stanley's or the squirrel's (if the squirrel is being devious, then I think we should see him snickering; if he's just doing something naughty but not maliciously, then we should see Stanley's face showing shock or anger or something). I'm looking forward to seeing the finished version of this one!
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Thank you all for such helpful feedback! There was some great input on the squirrel that inspired me to explore the character a bit more.
I will work on adding him to the composition tomorrow. Happy drawing!
