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    I would love your feedback on my Around the world in 80 days illustration.

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    • Peter Jarvis
      Peter Jarvis last edited by

      @gimmehummus thank you so much for taking the time to comment and create the image. I can see where you're coming from and your suggestion is definitely better than my original. I'll make the changes now. Have a great day. Pete.

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      • Peter Jarvis
        Peter Jarvis last edited by

        @natiwata Thank you so much for commenting. I agree, there is a lot and the more I worked the idea, I more complicated it looked. I lost my way I think. I can see what you mean regarding the colouring. I am going to work on it and I will re-upload. Thanks for your giving such constructive feedback. It's just what I needed. I will re-upload the amended version soon. Have a great day. Pete.

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        • Peter Jarvis
          Peter Jarvis last edited by

          I just want to say thank you for your help on this piece. I have made some changes which I think create a definite inside and outside of the bad. I am just completing getting rid of some to the muddy colours, but with your help, I think it's a far more solid piece of work. I would love to hear your thoughts.
          Final-scene-9.png

          Thrace Ace Connell 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 3
          • Thrace
            Thrace @Peter Jarvis last edited by

            @Peter-Jarvis Wow, I loved it before but it is so much more dramatic now! Very nice piece, I know you are proud and you should be!!!

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            • Ace Connell
              Ace Connell @Peter Jarvis last edited by Ace Connell

              @Peter-Jarvis I really like the new version, but I'd be mindful of print. If this is for a book (or a fake book assignment for uni), I'd do a couple of test prints, but things tend to print darker so I'm not sure how lost the image would be printed. Don't get me wrong, it may be fine, it's just something to think about.

              Ace

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              • Peter Jarvis
                Peter Jarvis last edited by

                @Thrace-Shirley-Mears Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I will keep working it until it's right. Have a lovely day.

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                • Peter Jarvis
                  Peter Jarvis last edited by

                  @Ace-Connell Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I will definitely do some test prints before committing to the design. have a lovely day.

                  Ace Connell 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • Ace Connell
                    Ace Connell @Peter Jarvis last edited by

                    @Peter-Jarvis I checked our your portfolio. I love your work. We live pretty close too. I'm based in Hull.

                    Ace

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                    • Peter Jarvis
                      Peter Jarvis last edited by Peter Jarvis

                      @Ace-Connell - Thank you so much for saying so. I really appreciate that. You've made my day. I have family in Hull. If I am ever visiting, I will let you know and If you're free we could meet to discuss all things art. Hope you are well.

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                      • amberwingart
                        amberwingart last edited by

                        I love this! I was going to make a couple of minor suggestions about the original, but I see they've been 'fixed' with the new version - beautiful work!

                        Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/amberwingart
                        Instagram: @savinafranciscoart
                        YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/amberwingart
                        Website: http://www.amberwingart.com
                        SVS Sketchbook: http://forum.svslearn.com/topic/915/savina-s-sketchbook-updated-2-13-16

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                        • Peter Jarvis
                          Peter Jarvis last edited by

                          @amberwingart Thank you so so much for your comment. I means a lot. Out of interest, what were the suggestions?. I don't want to take up any of your time. Thanks in advance. Have a great day.

                          amberwingart 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • amberwingart
                            amberwingart @Peter Jarvis last edited by

                            @Peter-Jarvis That's no problem at all - I could sit on these boards "talking art" all day, lol... I was going to say that in the original, the purple tail of the rat on the left side and the wand of the other rat both looked flat compared to all of the great detail in the rest of the piece...That was really it - I just love the angle and inventiveness of this! There is one other thing, actually - my eye doesn't understand what the thing holding the left rat's cloak shut is - it looks like teeth...maybe that could be clarified just a bit? It's one of the first thing my eye notices every time I come to the image...Aside from that, I'd say you nailed it with the second pass of this!

                            Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/amberwingart
                            Instagram: @savinafranciscoart
                            YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/amberwingart
                            Website: http://www.amberwingart.com
                            SVS Sketchbook: http://forum.svslearn.com/topic/915/savina-s-sketchbook-updated-2-13-16

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                            • natiwata
                              natiwata SVS OG last edited by natiwata

                              I still think that the overall contrast and darkness of this image is way too high. Aside from small details and looking at the big picture, if you squint at it you lose the overall forms of the characters. This is due in large part to the fact that they are dark on dark background with very hot spots of light scattered throughout. Also there are a lot of very saturated varying colors.

                              On the lighting, even just putting out the characters as the closest foreground layer, then the bag, then the outside would help clarify depth and make it more readable.

                              Untitled-1.jpg

                              Nat Iwata
                              www.iwataillustration.com

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                              • Peter Jarvis
                                Peter Jarvis last edited by

                                Hi @natiwata. Firstly, thank you for taking the time to give me such amazing feedback and taking the time to edit my illustration. I can see what you mean about the losing the forms when you squint. I will take a look at that. As for the contrast and darkness, I stuck with that as it gave more of a victorian dark, dank atmosphere to the inside of the bag. Plus, as you said in your original comments, it shows a real distinction between the outside and inside of the bag. I'd love anyone else to give input. I know it's a personal piece, but i really want to get it right. Thanks again. Have a great day.

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                                • ?
                                  A Former User last edited by A Former User

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                                  • Peter Jarvis
                                    Peter Jarvis last edited by

                                    Hi @damien-rambacher, thank you for your suggestion. @natiwata thank you so much for your feedback. I have decided to repaint a lot of the colours to get it right and to limit the contrast points as you both suggested to make the piece read better. I would love to hear your thoughts. It's nowhere near finished, but I just wanted to make sure I was going in the right direction still. Have a great day. Pete.

                                    Final-scene-10.png

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