Winter cozy - personal piece WIP - critique please
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@xin-li really liking where you’re taking this piece! Is it hitting the feeling you’re aiming for?
Just wanted to mention one thing: you’ve got good movement and the mom & kid reading are the focal point, but as the eye moves around the composition, there is a snag when it comes to the kid “fishing” on the rug. It’s such a cute scene, but how it’s posed, the fishing rod and her legs are leading the eye right off the page. Is there a way to rearrange the pose so the lines lead the eye back to your focal point?
Really exciting to see the scene coming together!
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@xin-li aw I love this. My kids use to play camping in their room just like this...love that the dad is participating. Very heartwarming scene I can realate to.
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@Melissa-Bailey-0 I have been struggled with this pose, hehe. Maybe I will let the kid caught a fish, looking towards the mom and kid, and shouting happily. :-).
Thank you so much for your input :-).@KaraDaniel Very much inspired by lat week having my kid home from kindergarten. My 3 years old discovered our camping sleeping bag last week, which became her daily ritual - hiding in the sleeping bag under the tent in our living room.
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Some progress in this piece. It took me sometime to do one pass of this piece, as there are so many little elements all over the place. I might add back some of the woodland mini toys here and there later.
I was not planning to, but suddenly I found myself doing the Draw 25 something excise :-).
Is the perspective too wonky? I am not entirely sure if the perspective around dad and the room behind is completely off.
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@xin-li I like this piece more every time you redo it! Inasmuch as the perspective looks off, it's probably because the room isn't at a 90 degree angle and there's also a slightly closed door. It does seem that the tent is from a lower angle than the door area and windowsill, and is perhaps exacerbated by how far the doors beyond are place "up" in the drawing. but I think that it looks better now than in the previous version. Are you going for realistic perspective?
I like the addition of cats in the fishing game!
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@LauraA I am not really aiming for a realistic perspective, but I do not want to viewers feel something is wrong either. I think I need to work out the door and window a bit more, using the tent as the base in terms of perspective. This piece takes a lot of time for me simply because it has more elements and a bit more complex than the pieces I usually paint. hehe... this is a very fun and challenging excise.
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@xin-li love the changes you've made! Flipping the tent opening was a good call, it helps include the entire family. Increasing the sizes of the characters brings them in and makes the scene feel more intimate.
Is the perspective wonky? Yes, a little bit. But if you're going for a wonky perspective, that's okay! If you want a more realistic perspective, I think the open door is contributing to the wonkiness.
Here's a thought: do you need the door? Is there a reason why the door is there? Removing the door and extending the picture wall behind Dad might help things seem even cozier, help with perspective, and resolve some distracting questions (Why is the door open? Is this a door to the outside, since the other wall has a window in it? And if it leads outside and the door is open, again, why is it open in winter?). To me, it feels like the door is there solely to provide a secondary light source. But is that really needed? The argument could be made that it's distracting rather than helping. You have secondary light sources with the fairy lights and the tealight "campfire". That could be all you need. Keep the focus and brightest lights on Mom & Daughter in the tent. For me, the open door is taking away from that.
One other thing to mention: the kid fishing is so cute, but having his back to the rest of the scene feels like he's isolating himself. What if you moved the circle rug so that it was more centered -- it could be what connects these 3 related-but-unrelated activities. Then you could flip the little fisherman so he is facing the rest of his family while still retaining all the charm of that little vignette. He can be doing his own thing while listening to storytime.
Again, these are just my thoughts. Thanks for sharing your WIP -- it's so exciting to see it come together!
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Progress so far.
@Melissa-Bailey-0 I really loved the second light source from the kitchen. But I think the piece is so much better without it. hehe. Thank you for the feedback. -
I think it's looking good, and now you have a small second light source in the fire, but it doesn't distract from the first. The focus is clearly on the mom and daughter. I'm enjoying watching this evolve!
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@xin-li i'm loving the colors
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I am getting close to finish this piece. Plan to submit this piece for the SCBWI showcase (as one of the 3).
Any final comments? I have a hard time finishing this for some reasons. Feels there is always something that can be tweaked. -
I think it's looking great! Is it digital or traditional? If digital maybe you could look at varying the size or placement of the objects in the middle a bit more. Also, and I'm not sure of this, perhaps move the lantern and the pool of light up a bit towards the mom and daughter. But I'm not sure that wouldn't create a weird tangent, so take that with a grain of salt!
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@xin-li Love this.Also the colouring is so good.One thing I might tweek a bit if I absolutely needed to, is darken the back wall a bit to make the front focal point pop a little!
I made a quick shading with a dark purple at hard light at low opacity.
Hope it sparked something!!contrast
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@LauraA Thank you so much for your feedback. hehe... I tried moving the lamp, it indeed has a tangent with mom's arm. I will see what I can do with the objects in the middle. The piece is digital, but I do not have like 100 layers this time as I did part of the process in Procreate (I wanted to use a specific brush), and my old Ipad can only run like 24 layers or something. here...
@Georgios-Christopoulos interesting thoughts. I will give it a try :-). Thank you so much for your feedback.
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@xin-li Looking really good!
Just two little nitpicky comments:
- The main light source -- the pool of light is offset from the lantern. If the lantern is the light source, the pool of light would have the lantern at the center. Perhaps move the lantern closer? The brightest spot of light should be the center of the source, the lantern.
- The secondary light sources are lovely. But maybe consider brightening up the "campfire" tea light? It seems that it would be a little brighter and have a larger pool of light. Even strengthening your secondary lighting a bit won't detract from your main light source, since it's so strong.
Love your interplay of warm and cool colors! This is a beautiful piece.
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@Melissa-Bailey-0 thank you very much, Melissa. Really helpful feedback :-).