MARCH contest Serious Critique requested. Thanks in Advance!!!
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@chrisaakins just to be super clear, I know you can draw this character any way you like (edit: I mean to say any way you need to for a story), so that is not the issue here. You can certainly enter the contest with the image as it is and honestly I think it would get tons of upvotes because it's an adorable character. But it seems like a good month to find different ways of thinking of how to understand character sheets better, so I was trying to find ways to apply this sort of thinking. I don't know if it's useful to anyone, but that is the check i'm starting to use for my own character sheets: can someone else use this to draw the character the way it's intended?
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@chrisaakins I also agree with @carolinebautista it was my next critique that a couple of the frames there is no direction for his gaze or it is not matching up with his actions particularly the bookbinding frame.
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@carolinebautista Yeah I like your question, What the heck is a character sheet? I thought it was to design a character for MY stuff. It never occurred to me that it would be for another person to draw. Not an animator as you can tell. I was thinking this was for a storybook.
About the shoes... I am thinking he wears boots because that is what civilized people do and he is a well-read fella. He is wide-eyed and uses this opportunity to see the world and travelers wear boots, right? You are the second person to question his boots. Faun-Satyr Deer peeple can do what they want, right?
It's 1357 after all! (I will think about nixing the boots, even though I like them)Also can you show what you mean about the outlines around the eyes? I don't quite get what you mean.
thanks for the input! -
@chrisaakins I think the same idea applies for a character sheet for a picture book because you're still communicating what to expect from the character. Thinking of me animating your character just a way of testing it. I am not entirely sure how I would deal with the outlines in your character, to be honest, but with the eyes do you think it would help if I drew it ?
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@carolinebautista Yes! I would love to see what you mean.
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@carolinebautista Thank you for that explanation of how you think about character sheets! I needed someone to spell it out for me- I'm really new at this too. That makes sense to me whether you're looking at it from the POV of another animator, or an art director wanting to make sure the character works in different situations, or just wanting to figure that out for myself as an illustrator.
@chrisaakins I respect your fortitude in asking for critiques! I agree with the assessments that the dark eyes run the risk of becoming directionless, and maybe fall a bit into the uncanny valley. The amber lowlight you added was certainly a help in warming up his gaze, but I think it's still a thing to address further. Also agree that showing his hoofs will make his legs/feet make more sense at a glance or from silhouette. And, not to overwhelm you with feedback, but i'm a bit distracted by the texture of the light beam in the center image. I think that frame might get more bang for its buck with a smoother background and/or some more of the light that is clearly falling on the character.
Just for my own reference, because I'm still learning about all of this, what age group would you say your character's story is aimed at? -
@Valerie-Light elementary age kids, I think.
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I think the concept has some good depth. My biggest issue is with the perspective. It seems like a mix of flat/cartoony and 3d/volumetric. Like with the mouth on the side of the face. I would pick one style for consistency. Also the foot and leg anatomy seems off when he's wearing shoes.
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I just noticed he’s missing his eyebrows in half the images too
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Thanks everyone! I listened to everyone and made some changes. I changed the eyes but kept the boots. My faun has feet that end in hoof toes, not hooves. that may bother some but that is my creative choice, right?
I appreciate the brutal honesty. It was hard to hear sometimes, but it did help me put together a piece that I am really happy with even if it there might be some small issues with it. I gotta get to work on actual paying gigs now so I am calling it finished not perfect! @Asyas_illos a special shout out to see the missing eyebrows. Haha!
