Society of Visual Storytelling

    SVSLearn Forums

    • Register
    • Login
    • Search
    • Recent
    • Tags
    • Popular
    • Users
    • Groups
    • Search

    Critique would be much appreciated

    Artwork
    3
    5
    223
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • Adam Thornton 0
      Adam Thornton 0 last edited by

      Hospital.jpg

      Hi folks,

      I've just got near the end of this piece and I'd be really grateful for comments. If you have anything constructive in mind, please don't hold back. How do you think it can be improved upon.

      Thanks very much.
      Adam
      (Cambridge, UK)

      Nyrryl  Cadiz 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • KathrynAdebayo
        KathrynAdebayo last edited by

        This is very emotional. The colors, large empty space and facial expressions convey concern and worry. I really think this is well done and powerful.

        Adam Thornton 0 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • Nyrryl  Cadiz
          Nyrryl Cadiz SVS OG @Adam Thornton 0 last edited by

          @Adam-Thornton-0 Hi! Great piece! The emotions are conveyed effortlessly. My one issue is that the boy in the blue shirt is missing his legs. Is that intentional?

          Portfolio: nyrrylcadiz.com
          Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nyrryl_cadiz/
          YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbJCF1Im8ZO7hpGWTKOJMuA

          Adam Thornton 0 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • Adam Thornton 0
            Adam Thornton 0 @Nyrryl Cadiz last edited by

            @Nyrryl-Cadiz Thanks very much Nyrryl. Yes, isn't it funny how, as soon as you post something asking for feedback, you suddenly notice lots of things wrong with it! And I thought I'd looked at it enough - probably too much!

            Yeah, the boy should have legs. I just realised that he looks like he's been cut off at the chest! He's supposed to look like he's leaning onto the bed. I think I need to show his back behind him a bit and perhaps do something about how his chest is sitting on the bed.

            Also, I noticed that the girl's left arm looks like it's separated from her shoulder. Her left elbow is too far away from her body!

            I'm sure there's more.

            Thanks again!

            Adam

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • Adam Thornton 0
              Adam Thornton 0 @KathrynAdebayo last edited by

              @KathrynAdebayo Thanks very much Kathryn.

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • First post
                Last post