March 3rd Thurs - her lovely pet
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First off, very fun concept! The animals look great, the storytelling is really nice.
I think that may still be a couple of things contributing to her looking older. The lines around her nose and mouth are very pronounced, combined with the sketch lines on her cheek, make her look like she has wrinkles or creases. Her hair also adds to the the more adult look, and the glasses look kind grandma-ish.
The other major thing is that it looks like she has substantial breasts. While this would might fit for an older girl, the other other kids in the illustration look very young, so I think it would be helpful to decide what age group you're going for.
Last thing is that her head to body proportions look different than the other characters, which might just be getting thrown off a bit by the dress and position. Anywho, hope some of this helps!
Nat Iwata
www.iwataillustration.com -
LOL! Substantial breasts! @natiwata I'm so glad when I can share my work because others see what you don't... that wouldnt be something I wanted to have come across... I was trying to suggest gesture... body possition of an arched back and pronounced lower ribs. I'll reconsider that large arch for sure! My thoughts on the glasses and face creases... I want her to look a little sinister, also a little like the crazy cat lady of her young generation... but yes I'm going to have to be careful about those creases...
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@cali-ward Great piece! Love the expressions on the kid face. I think
@natiwata made great suggestions to improve it a little! And I have to say I laughed out loud about the "substantial breasts"!The other thing I notice is that there seems to be not much volume in her legs. The way the dress is folded, I don't know... it's like her legs are flat... let me know if it's not clear and I try to do a drawover!
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So if anybody has color suggestions i'm still open to comments, I'll keep saturation on the girl and snake, I think I like the colors chosen... hopefully I can pull off a funky print of some sort. @nowayme Thanks for the added suggestion, it was good for me to look at the feet again - kneeling is a hard position to hit... especially if I want to keep this girl in a dress. I adjusted the foot down a bit and did my own little draw over to double check things. better? @natiwata i knocked down the chest and made her head just a little bigger... faded out those lines too... hopefully I can pull this one off
Thanks ya'll
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@Cali-Ward I think it's a lot better! Your draw over of the legs really showed the form, however in your final sketch they still look a little flat... maybe it's because the snake should be a little higher ? It looks like the snake is pushing the legs flat instead of lying on them... But it's much better than it was!
Also, I like the other changes you made! Another thing you might consider is making her eyes a little bigger. It could help have her look a little younger and also add to the sense of "little crazy" your going for!
Finally, I like the color you chose! To harmonize the palette a little maybe you could take colors from your girl/snake and use them in the background character (for example, use a paler/desaturated version of the snake green on the boy's shirt instead of a bluish green)
These are simply suggestion though, I really like where you are going with this, it's a really nice piece! Keep updating us!
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So, I feel like I was waiting for someone to tell me to reconsider the snake's face... I didn't like it, but I didn't want to redo it... I don't usually draw mean looking animals, or "cool" stuff... ha! My stuff might be described as cute... not cool. But I did redraw it and think it will bring a cool factor.
And... I think the flat legs are a perspective issue... I'm probably not nailing it, but they flatten out because of the higher perspective... I like the movement of the snake, so call me stubborn, but thank you so much for the input @nowayme
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@Cali-Ward not to be that person, but if its a python or boa constrictor it wouldn't have fangs like that
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@Cali-Ward The rest of the piece is so strong that I don't think you should give up on the girls legs just yet.
I actually do not think the problem is with the legs themselves. However it is with how you have the snake positioned over them.
If you look at your own draw over of the legs in the red - you can see they have a volume to them - like cylinders. But if you look at it closely you will notice that your snake actually cuts through the middle of those cylinders instead of draping over the top of them.
If you were to adjust the body of the snake to give that illusion of volume in the legs, I think it will solve the problem.
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Give me a consensus ya'll... inaccurate python with pattern and fangs or some sort of green snake hybrid..? I like the fangs. So stubborn.
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Ooooo @Rich Green, that helps alot, thank you!
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Snake hybrid... fixed legs and snake body... I think I'll still add some sort of pattern.
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@Cali-Ward - I really think that makes all the difference with her legs - they no longer appear flattened out to me and it looks very natural now. Nice job!
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LOL sorry about that. Your piece has a realism feel to it, that is the only reason I mentioned it. Last month 3rd thursday I did a snake with mice and it had fangs when it probably shouldn't but since it was more cartoon like I felt I could get away with it. Still like where this is headed!
@Cali-Ward said:Give me a consensus ya'll... inaccurate python with pattern and fangs or some sort of green snake hybrid..? I like the fangs. So stubborn.
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no, @chip valecek, it is a valid comment for sure, thanks! in all, it still helped the image improve, and someone else would say the same thing. Its good for me to get over my stubborn defensiveness and take some criticism
