WIP help! Drawing just lacks a bit of…life.

[allysa]

WIP help!
Hello, all - I’m working on this piece that I like a lot of the details of, but I feel like it’s a bit rigid and could be more dynamic. Does anyone have any advice on how to add more life without redrawing the whole thing? Thank you so much!!

[Robyn Hepburn]

@allysa Hi! I love this piece! Incredibly interesting and beautiful.
The only thing I thought of (back when they were doing the YouTube crit) that might improve it, is to move the fish-bubble so that it's closer to the viewer and in a bit further from the corner. Or maybe even bring it way into the foreground so that the girl and her fishbowl in the midground become the second thing we see...?
I think the girl has great movement in her hair, but maybe you could have the wind blowing her hair in the same direction as the bubbles? And you could have her feet swinging. I don't know any children who sit still with their legs just hanging.
There you go, that's all I got. I hope it maybe sparks something helpful.

[Sara Therese Art]

@allysa I've seen this piece before and fell in love with it! The story telling, composition (that fish face in the foreground is so fun!) and your art work are all amazing.

I wonder if you could add some movement to the girl and fish bowl to give it more life and a bit of tension. For instance children often swing their legs when sitting and the bowl could be tipping just a bit with water splashing out.

[Sara Therese Art]

@Robyn-Hepburn Jinx! Looks like we were both typing a comment at the same time to get those feet swinging.

[Robyn Hepburn]

@Sara-Therese-Art Ooh, I like the water-splashing idea!

[AngelinaKizz]

@allysa I think you could adjust the arc of the bubbles. Right now they're leading the eye right off the page, if the arc were to spiral downward, the fish could be brought forward and more focal, and the arc could draw the eye back into the girl keeping the viewer engaged longer.

[mag]

Hi! Your illustration is stunning, the colours and the rendering, beautiful!
I agree with others about the girls hair (should be moving along with the wind, not in the opposite direction), I would also alter the wave of bubbles, so it’s not so straightforward.
The girls posture is a bit stiff - I know this would mean a major redraw, but a piece this beautiful might be worth it!
My last nitpicking point - I’d adjust the girls eyes, when I blow bubbles, I always look right into the loop…

Keep up the good work!

[Blitz55]

Very pretty for sure.
It may have been said, but the girl seems a little disconnected with what she's doing. She is sort of looking off elsewhere away from the bubbles she's blowing, especially since one of those bubbles has a fish inside. I think if you were to change her eyeline to focus on the fish bubble that would help the viewers eye move through the image a bit more.

Maybe something with her legs as well, if you can come up with a pose.....okay, I'm just now seeing @mag response. So yeah, pretty much Mag's response.

[allysa]

Thank you everyone - this is all so helpful and I’m grateful for all of your time!!!

[allysa]

This looks awesome - thanks!!! @mag

[allysa]

@mag

So obviously the hair isn’t fully rendered & is just copied and pasted and scribbled in, but I’d love your thoughts on this version - which I updated based on your advice! I think it’s better…but possibly still not quite there?

Do you or anyone else have any other thoughts to improve?

Cheers! As always, I’m grateful!

[ajillustrates]

@allysa Love it!

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@allysa hi! First off beautiful piece. To improve it, I think you can still push the girl’s pose but that’s it. I hope this helps.

[allysa]

Here’s the final. I’m sure I could push the pose more, but into the next thing. Appreciative of all the help!