May Third Thursday - bouncing ideas
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@smceccarelli #4 and ou could have a few of her fishy friends giving her quizzical looks...
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For me #3 and #5 seem to hit the mark.
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I love the idea! I like the simplicity of number 3....
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Love this idea @smceccarelli! I think a number of you compositions work, but I like #3 best. It reminds me of a scene in the Little Mermaid where she's singing about various do-dads she's collected. What's great about all her treasures too is that she guesses at their use and does strange things with them (like combs her hair with a fork) - so getting across that 'I LOVE this thing - but what IS it?' would be great. Suggestion: maybe she's got a look of pure love on her face, but then there's a fish or some other sea creature who's eyeing it up skeptically next to her
https://danettebyatt.com
Twitter @DanetteDraws
Instagram @DanetteDraws -
Thank you all! Now I feel like I have solid ideas for both and can move on...one at a time...
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@smceccarelli I love these latest ideas! Really, really nice, it's difficult to choose which thumbnail - I actually like #4 a lot, because I could see the lighting/values working really well to highlight the shoe as focal point. But as others have said I also like 3a and 3b - beautiful shapes with the mermaid's tail and swirling hair.
If you do choose #3 I wonder if the crop could be extended upwards just a tiny tiny bit, so that the shoe hits more of the 'third' in composition terms - it feels a little high for such an important focal point. But I like the way the mermaid is holding it upwards to admire it - really nice gesture so wouldn't change that.
I agree with @DanetteDraws, it also reminds me of the Little Mermaid where she places such a high value on little trinkets that she doesn't understand...I love that you took the shoe idea and took it further by making the recipient a mermaid who could never wear a shoe but loves the gift anyway. Can't wait to see the next version!
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I have been fighting with every inch of this drawing - and it probably shows....I really need training with turning things in my head and this viewpoint was very challenging. And also the receding sizes, I am not sure it works. It does not need to be correct perspective, but at least believable.
Looking forward to input before I proceed to color!
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very nice line work
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Wow, this looks amazing! Gorgeous linework…I have no critique at all, just want to say how nice it looks already...I love the elderly man balancing on his wheelchair
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The line drawing is awesome. On the first side of the spread there is that big empty space with the clouds in the middle. (It almost looks like an area left there on purpose for text) You could put some of that fake text in there and i think that would solve the whole problem. Or you might start your roller coasters of characters from the bottom corner there. I did a quick dirty Photoshop warp to see how it might look. There would still be a little gap there but you would be taking up more of the page and we'd get to see those characters a little larger.Anyway it looks great there just seems to be something need in the middle there. 
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@evilrobot Wow, the warped drawing does look cool! It would mean re-drawing a bunch of stuff, but may yield a much stronger piece indeed. I will give it some serious thinking. Or put in some dummy text...Would you think that would make it more interesting as a children´s book piece?
I am doing color studies right now, so still some time to think before I start the painting.... -
To me I got the impression that it is a children's book spread and the way everything wraps around and leads my eye it's telling me "look right here, this is where the text goes" So I think that if that's what you meant that area for then you have it perfect already. You just need to make sure to leave a white area when you are coloring so the text will be easy to read. I don't think you need to put the text in the actual image just leaving the white will let us know that's what the space is for. It could also work really good for an editorial piece about growing old so lots of possibilities with this piece.
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@evilrobot I think this is awesome, everything about it!! I love that you use that blue color on his pants in every image of him. I know this is picky and certainly not necessary but you might find a way to use that color on him in the baby carriage (perhaps a hat) and the one with him driving his family. Just a thought. I can't wait to see this finished!! I loved the mermaid too and hope that you will finish 3 or 5 as a portfolio piece!
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Going through color thumbs while I think about your suggestions on the drawing. As usual, I could do tenths of these, I love playing with color schemes
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@smceccarelli I like #5
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Wow hard to say. I love #5 it's a different direction than I think anyone would expect with the yellow sky and I love that. #4 is super interesting but it's drawing too much attention to those clouds in the dead space again. I think #3 is working the best if the goal is to have us looking at the old man first.
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#5 or #6
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@smceccarelli There is something really special about #5 - it is striking!
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@smceccarelli This is such a great drawing! For me i think there are things about number 6 that make it stand out - i keep wanting to move the clouds to the right for some reason on 1 through 5 - i think in 6 the contrast is lower between the clouds and the sky and there are clouds on the right hand side of the composition too which seems to lessen their importance on the left hand side of the composition (in a good way it think) - i like the suggestion that there is a cloud in the very upper left corner in number 6 also - i think that adds a lot to the composition for me - they are all very nice though and the things i like about 6 could be added to any of the other if they seemed important - looking forward to seeing the next step!
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Thank you all for your thoughtful feedback! I am doing six more, trying different color of sky. I am also thinking about adding a distinct sense of sunset, to suggest a sunny life evening - that would pick up on the warmer tones that everybody likes in 5. And definitely I need to do something with those clouds and changing the composition around. I will probably try to place the text on the left, as suggested, and put some clouds on the top right to balance it out.
