Dummy book new spreads
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Hi @evilrobot ! I really enjoy following your spreads here.
To the last two I have to say that my first reaction was: Oh boy, this is shocking. But after you explained I see your intention. It is hard to say how kids will react, particularly because it depends on the kids personalities how they will take it.
But I want to bring up something else what bothered me about the last two. The former spreads were made from the boys perspective. So the hints you give are illustrated in a way that the boy should follow these hints. But now the perspective changed. You say, don't forget to eat, but the boy himself is going to be (almost) eaten. To me this is somehow a break in the concept. You know what I mean?
About the age goup, I would say, because it is only a few lines of text, it is rather for younger kids, who are guided by an adult through the book. I agree that the age discussion is difficult.
I am looking forward to see the development of this book. -
@Jana Thank you for your critique. I understand what you are saying. I'll have to think about it for a while and revisit the text. I actually had several variations on the text for this page. My first idea was to have the text say something about trying different foods when you are in foreign cultures but I couldn't figure out the text for children and I would have ended up with the same problem .Thanks for your input I'll have to revisit this when I get the illustrations done. I'm hoping I can get it good enough for an agent to see my vision for the book and if I get signed have them help me with the writing.
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Here's the next spread. I used my hand writing to make a font (as per the SVS class on graphic novels showed a great place to do that) I think it works better. I may also go back on the colored pieces and re- ink them at about half the line thickness when I'm done with all the spreads.
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@evilrobot Beautiful!
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@evilrobot I like it! Haha funny spread too.
Your text is a lot better with your on hand writing. I'd say you might want to "beef up" the small a and i though, they're pretty light (the entire i, with the a it's only the upper curve that's thin/light).
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Looking sweet. I like your style.
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@evilrobot This looks great William - i keep thinking it would be a great opportunity between these two panels to see how they are able to free themselves from the rotisserie while underwater - maybe the use of a razor clam or a swordfish (i know they did not land in the ocean but you get the idea).. somehow working a couple of underwater scenes into the story along with your ironic wit would be super fun....just a thought
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This looks so fun! Nice and witty throughout. I was also wondering how did they free themselves from the ropes? That is the kind of things my son would immediately point out....
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Thanks for the feedback....I was thinking the ropes loosened up when they fell off the cliff into the water...but, looks like I need to come up with a better solution... I could make the image on the one page smaller and add a couple more spots to flesh out the story, I'll add it to my notes. Thanks. Here's the next spread.
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They look good!
Are you inking these traditionally or digitally? if digital, what system? Your lines are great.
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@jimsz Thanks. No these are all digital using clip studio paint (manga studio5) and Frenden brushes that I bought. He has 4 or 5 super gritty ink brushes that I love. Color is all Photoshop and Kyle's brushes.
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@evilrobot Your lines are great!
