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    Characters for my comic

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    • reddprime
      reddprime @laura last edited by

      @laura this is a good point! I had not even given that any thought... I will have a look at what the shark looks like without a tail πŸ™‚ thanks for pointing that out.

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      • reddprime
        reddprime last edited by

        Happy Monday everyone!
        I have almost completed the third page of FishTails. From page 3 one they will all be on my site: https://reddprime.com/comics/

        I do need some suggestions on how to make some female characters.

        Fish-tails-Page-2_created-by-reddprime.jpg

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
        • reddprime
          reddprime last edited by

          Finished up page 3 about a week ago, this one was a challenge. I was never happy with the illusion of movement that I needed for the claw slash.

          Please let me know what you think. I am about to start the next page.

          fish-tails-page-3-724x1024.jpg

          Susan Marks 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
          • BenBernardSmith
            BenBernardSmith last edited by BenBernardSmith

            Hi there! I like what you're doing, the characters have really nice designs.

            With your third page, I'm not sure if I completely understand what's happening. The first panel looks like he's scared by something coming towards him, but the words seem to state he's already been hit once. Could it work to have a small panel first showing something coming towards him, maybe in silhouette above him or something, then what was the first panel as his reaction to seeing this thing above him, then the slash. I think one hit works just as well if not better.

            Also, I'm assuming he's evolved by going through the portal? As I was reading about your character design at the top of the post, I was wondering if that might be how he becomes more anthropomorphic.

            EDIT: I just re-read it, and realised the pain he's experiencing first is his evolving, right?

            reddprime 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • avfarrar
              avfarrar last edited by avfarrar

              Maybe it would help with the transition from the second to third page if you show the swirl from the portal in the background behind the face of the main character? It wouldn't necessarily need to be in any of the others--but still maybe include it as small and disappearing behind the fish character in the second panel (for story flow)? Hope that makes sense.
              Keep up the good work! You're doing great. πŸ™‚ πŸ‘πŸ»

              There is beauty in life!

              WWW.AVFILLUSTRATION.COM
              www.instagram.com/avfillustration/

              reddprime 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • jaepereira
                jaepereira SVS OG @reddprime last edited by

                @reddprime probably late in the process but I don’t think your main character should be called Finn if the villain is named Kingfin (although I appreciate the pun).

                jaepereira.com
                instagram.com/jaepereiraart

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                • Susan Marks
                  Susan Marks @reddprime last edited by

                  @reddprime Another reader late to the party...
                  I'm really liking where this is going. Once you started posting your characters and panes in color, they really took off. I think your scenes really take off in page 2 and 3. Could you show more of the story with less narrative boxes on the first page. Tricky-but I think it would draw me in more quickly.

                  I'm not sure what the "blue light" is-but maybe I don't need to know yet, maybe that's part of the hook to draw us in.

                  The large image on the 2nd page looks a little out of color-could the goldfish (Finn?) have more warmth and even a little orange/gold while he's in shadow, to tie the images together?

                  And I don't think the 3rd page needs the dialog at all-I think your images tell the story.

                  Keep posting! I want to see what happens.

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                  • reddprime
                    reddprime @avfarrar last edited by

                    @avfarrar This makes total sense! Thanks for the input, it makes more sense than the green light I was using πŸ™‚

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                    • reddprime
                      reddprime @BenBernardSmith last edited by

                      @BenBernardSmith Hey! Thanks for the feedback. So the plan is to create some confusion in this panel, why does he look different in from here on in that he did in the previous pages? I want the audience to experience the confusing Finn was experiencing as this unfolded, but it gets explained soon.

                      BenBernardSmith 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • BenBernardSmith
                        BenBernardSmith @reddprime last edited by

                        @reddprime I can see you want us to experience the confusion he's feeling, but I would say that I initially thought that the first pain he was feeling was caused by him being hit, so if you want readers to know more clearly the two pains are different, you might want to show that somehow, but still keep some of the confusion. Clarity is important when a story begins or the audience can be turned away.

                        But up to you! Just some thoughts. Keep up the good work! πŸ˜„ I look forward to seeing more!

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                        • reddprime
                          reddprime last edited by

                          Hi all, I have been struggling with the next page, I have started and been on it for a few weeks, which feels like an eternity.
                          So page 4 has Finn waking up after being knocked out. We see the top of the cave he is in, then he sees two characters starting at him. From there, I want to show him sitting up all confused and then, a close-up shot of him trying to figure out what has just happened, how did he go from a fish in a tank, to a fish being attacked, waking up in a cave with these two new characters around him.

                          I would really appreciate some advice on how to illustrate and portray this, please.

                          Fish-tails-Page-4.jpg

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