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    Composition Final Project

    Serious Critique Requested
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    • Joy Heyer
      Joy Heyer last edited by Joy Heyer

      Very creative concept! I like the idea of these three villains getting together. And the hints to their stories in the wardrobe, mirror, broom, map and tornado are great. I feel it is a little stagnant, however. Explore illustrating a different moment in time--like the queen arriving through the mirror. Same with the White Witch through the wardrobe. They each could be bringing something for the tea party--like heart sugar cookies or Turkish Delight. At the very least, make them more animated around the table. Right now it is three similar shapes just sitting there in similar poses. And the poses don't match their personalities. Skewing the perspective helps make it less stagnant, but it falls short of the potential a different moment in time would have.

      Before working any more perspective I suggest doing a bunch of thumbnails with the witches and objects in different positions and different moments in time. If you are set on this composition, the back wall is off--especially where it connects to the left wall, the table is too low making it look like it is further back than it should be (the characters legs should be able to go underneath the table...), and the legs of the mirror should be straight up and down, not leaning back.

      This is definitely an idea worth exploring and finishing! Can't wait to see more!

      Twitter: @Joy_Illustrated
      Instagram: joy_illustrated
      Website: joyheyer.com

      theprairiefox 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • theprairiefox
        theprairiefox @Joy Heyer last edited by

        I have to agree with @Joy-Heyer there is so much more potential here. The idea of the three witches meeting is awesome.

        But the them just sitting there is kind of bland. I was thinking you could try having them all looking at something and laughing in an evil way. Or one of them showing off one of their evil deeds and the other two laughing or cheering her on.

        You might want to think about 'why' they are together and add that storytelling to it. Even if it is to get together and relax think about what do women do when they get together and relax? Add some of that.

        Great kernel of an idea. Can't wait to see where it goes!

        -The Prairie Fox
        https://www.instagram.com/theprairiefox
        https://www.theprairiefox.com

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        • Judy Elizabeth Wilson
          Judy Elizabeth Wilson SVS OG last edited by

          Brilliant idea. I look forward to see you progress. @Coreyartus What do you think about adding in a black cat, a frog or a crow, the witches' animal guides?

          Website http://www.judyelizabethwilson.com/

          Instagram https://www.instagram.com/judyelizabethart/

          Sharing positivity through art.

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          • sketchbook
            sketchbook last edited by

            I really like this concept. Two things are jumping out at me.

            First, the room has an unexpected shape to it. The corner behind the characters seems to suggest a triangular room (maybe a room in the turret of a castle?). Unless the shape of the room is critical to the story maybe giving the viewer a more expected environment would help.

            Second, I can’t help but think there could be more drama here.You have this awesome and dynamic characters, but they are placed in the situation without much drama. Could a character be standing up, could one be glowering arms crossed, could another be summoning an underling? Imagine this scene playing out. They have all come together for a reason, what is the most dramatic moment of this meeting. What moment will most move the story forward and draw that?

            I love the concept and can’t wait to see where you go with it. Cool work!

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            • Coreyartus
              Coreyartus Moderator last edited by Coreyartus

              Alrighty, I've spent some time processing the comments thus far and made some adjustments.

              1-- I skewed the left wall more so it looks like it's an odd-shaped room on purpose instead of an accident of perspective.
              2-- I added a flying monkey. I feel like this sort of balances the table being in the lower third of the image and draws attention to the cavernous height. I'm not sure I'm ready to put in the White Rabbit or a the henchman Dwarf--I'm already biting off a HUGE endeavor for me. Unless it feels like they really need to be there. And you'll have to tell me if you think they should. These compatriot baddies seemed more in keeping than individual familiars that I'd have to invent.
              3-- I gave them some small bit of action at the table--a toast. That felt like they were actually doing a little something instead of just sitting and posing for a group portrait.
              4-- I lowered the Wicked Witch of the West and the Queen of Hearts so they look like they could feasibly get their legs under the table.
              5-- I adjusted the mirror, facial expressions, some stuff on the table, & generally cleaned things up a smidge.

              Thoughts?

              VillainousTeaDrawing3sm.jpg

              Children's Illustration Portfolio: https://www.coreyartusillustration.com
              Art Portfolio: https://www.coreyartusimagery.com
              Mastodon: https://mindly.social/@Coreyartus
              Pixelfed: https://pixelfed.social/Coreyartus

              theprairiefox 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • theprairiefox
                theprairiefox @Coreyartus last edited by

                @Coreyartus good changes! I am really digging the toast and wicked smiles. It adds a lot. Nice progress.

                One thing you might play with is zooming in... It is one of the techniques @Lee-White uses all the time. Try framing it in closer. I think you might get a better picture by zooming in on those lovely ladies!

                -The Prairie Fox
                https://www.instagram.com/theprairiefox
                https://www.theprairiefox.com

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                • animatosoor
                  animatosoor @Coreyartus last edited by

                  @Coreyartus said in Composition Final Project:

                  @animatosoor Thank-you thank-you thank-you!! I needed more eyes. I really appreciate your thoughts! So many excellent points!

                  You're welcome, Corey! You've gotten some great feedback here. Your latest sketch looks very good, and I really like the changes you've made.

                  As far as the perspective goes - since you intended it to be an odd-shaped room, I guess that explains why the lines won't converge as they would normally - what would normally be parallels aren't parallels in your room design (which would be a box), and now I get that was done on purpose. 🙂

                  If you do decide to put in the other two characters, where would they be? It would be interesting to see what their roles in the scene would be, if you decide to go that route. Right now the three characters already have a common action/motive to bind them, and that's working very well.

                  https://www.instagram.com/sooryajart/

                  The Beatles: "Roll up, roll up for the Mystery Tour!"

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                  • Coreyartus
                    Coreyartus Moderator last edited by

                    Well, I did another lurch forward and made some significant steps forward. Made some major changes:

                    1. I went ahead and took the leap and added two characters--the White Rabbit and the White Witch's dwarf henchman. In for a penny, in for a pound, eh?
                    2. A LOT of rendering and texture.
                    3. A different, stronger source of light above the table than the window (which I decided wasn't a good idea since I wanted to make it stormy out there with the tornado).

                    TeaColorizedweb.jpg

                    Children's Illustration Portfolio: https://www.coreyartusillustration.com
                    Art Portfolio: https://www.coreyartusimagery.com
                    Mastodon: https://mindly.social/@Coreyartus
                    Pixelfed: https://pixelfed.social/Coreyartus

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                    • Annemieke
                      Annemieke SVS OG last edited by

                      Oh wow, you’ve made a lot of progress. Very good job on adding the henchmen, the scene looks a lot more complete now. The only thing that is bothering me a bit is where is the light coming from...? I really like the strong light on the table, maybe you could emphasize is a bit more by adding shadow at the backs of the queens, but the tiny chandelier hanging over the table is not enough to give such strong light. Can you make it bigger? And hang it a bit lower maybe?
                      I really like where this is going, and love that you’re setting yourself this huge, challenging task. Keep it up!

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                      • Coreyartus
                        Coreyartus Moderator last edited by Coreyartus

                        Ok, I need to call this done and walk away.

                        Onward to the next project, eh? I think I'm going to so something much simpler now. Much much simpler. Haha!!
                        ViciousTeaREvisedWe.jpg

                        Children's Illustration Portfolio: https://www.coreyartusillustration.com
                        Art Portfolio: https://www.coreyartusimagery.com
                        Mastodon: https://mindly.social/@Coreyartus
                        Pixelfed: https://pixelfed.social/Coreyartus

                        Susan Marks 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                        • Susan Marks
                          Susan Marks @Coreyartus last edited by

                          @Coreyartus I just joined into this party-so I got to watch it evolve-and it turned out just wonderfully. Your lighting is just right for this image. You did a great job of distinguishing the 3 characters visually.

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