"Dress Up" WIP – critique please

[drawnbyshawn]

SCBWI has a month "Draw This" prompt (which I kind of just realized), so I figured I would submit for August. All submissions get placed in their online gallery and the winners are featured in their "Insight" email. The prompt is "dress up", and here is my tight sketch. Yeah, I probably should solicit feedback sooner in my process, but it's just not something I've gotten used to. But I really need to, so I'm trying to post more to both get AND give feedback.

Any feedback/critiques appreciated.

FYI, if you're an SCBWI member you can submit by the 20th of each month. The link is here: https://www.scbwi.org/calling-all-illustrators-2/ (although they haven't updated the language on the page for this month).

[Perrij]

Good drawing! I think maybe the girl's face has too many wrinkles. Although I know it's realistic, it leans more on the "comic" style than the children's book style.

[Nyrryl Cadiz]

@drawnbyshawn i like this piece but I have to say that the lash lines under your characters’ eyes make it seem that they have huge bags. I guess maybe it just looks like that for now but it can remedied with color but I just want to throw it out there. I hope this is helpful.

[drawnbyshawn]

Thanks for the comments.

@Perrij Yeah, I can see that. (I'm assuming you're talking about the girl on the left.) I'm trying to have her make a smiling "arrr" pirate face, and I'm not sure it's right yet. I'll have to experiment more with ways to show that expression but with just the right amount of linework.

@Nyrryl-Cadiz I'm wondering if it looks that way because it's just sketched and there is no color. I haven't added color to this one yet, but here's an example of what that would look like on a finished drawing. I suppose I could try removing the lines below the eyes. I've done it this way for so long that maybe I'm just used to it, but in fact it doesn't look quite right??? (I'm also very much a "line" person. Kind of a "comic" style I suppose.)