March Composition WIP: Critique welcome

[Norman Morana]

Hi Everyone,

I've been working on this concept of a pilot flying his hardest. I have some parts falling off the plane and smoke coming from it and I wanted something to be chasing him. I've been playing around with what that can be and have included some options here. I'm leaning towards #4. I'm curious how this concept reads relating to the challenge, "Everything was rattling, falling apart and breaking!!!" I haven't made it into the past few top 16's and I'm wondering if my concepts haven't been clear enough.

Here is an earlier sketch of the idea.

Thank you!

[jwing]

3 and 4 are my favorites, they give the best sense of something really chasing/catching up to him! I think I lean towards 3 because the shadow is clearly from someone else chasing the pilot, whereas the shape of the shadow in 4 is less clear (maybe that's intended? Sort of letting the viewer decide for themselves what is chasing him). However, both of those compositions are awesome!

[Norman Morana]

Thank you, @jwing for the feedback, I appreciate your perspective

[Ryan Ehr]

@Norman-Morana I think this looks like a solid idea! I'd smash 3 and 4 together. Make sure the shadow is readable as a plane chasing him, but make the pilot cat's plane a bit bigger so we can really see the pilot and bits falling off. I really like the character design and want to see him clearly.
One other note. You have a really cool design for the main plane and a more traditional one for the chasing one. You may want to keep them both in a similar language. I can also see the plane silhouette replaced with a giant bird or flying dinosaur to add more to the fantasy of the image. Maybe if the pilot is a cat, he's been chasing the largest bird and needed to fly to reach him. Now he's bitten off more than he can chew.

[Norman Morana]

@Ryan-Ehr that was really helpful. I'll play around with the scale and make sure we can see the pilot clearly. It's tough, I'll have to play with the shadow of what is chasing him more. I like the giant bird! That was one of my first ideas, but I have a piece in my portfolio that already has a giant bird and I don't want it to seem like I'm reusing the same ideas I'll try a dinosaur though.

Thank you!

[Heather Boyd]

@Norman-Morana

Hi.

I like #3 the best because you've got 3 distinct "plane shapes" -1 the big plane shadow, 2 the plane below and 3 the shadow below it (red plane). I think it could read more clean and clear if the red planes shadow was like #4.

[Norman Morana]

@Heather-Boyd Thank you I'm leaning more towards the plane now. i've been working on some options, I think I'll post them here soon. I'm glad you called out the small plane shadow on #4, I'll use that.

[Laurel Aylesworth]

Ominous shapes are always a good bet

[Norman Morana]

I've reworked #3 into #5.

I tried a few experiments with changing up the shadow plane silhouette (see #7), but it seems like when I add more complexity it gets distracting. I want the focus to be on our red plane. And I like the idea of something alive chasing him but I think it distracts from the goal.

Here are some rambling thoughts. What I worry about with #5 is the shapes overall are too similar, when I break it down to its core design it isn't as interesting to me, but I think it could work with the details. I see the appeal with him being chased by a plane, but the shape in #6 can be stronger from a design standpoint and as far as that shape represents, it could be a storm he's trying to outrun. Really I'm stuck on picking #5 or #6, but wanted to include #7 and #8 to show what I didn't think was working.

Thank you all again for the help

[Heather Boyd]

@Norman-Morana I'd still go with #5. Eventhough the bird is giant I think he'd have trouble swallowing that plane -it gets stuck in his throat -it would resemble a snake swallowing something funny shaped.

[Ryan Ehr]

@Norman-Morana Good to see the exploration even if it isn't as successful. I agree that the plane shape is reading the strongest!