May: Adrift at Sea

Kevin Longueil

@EliaMurrayArt This is looking great! - for feedback i did a quick cut and paste of your image (i hope you don't mind) - the main thing i was thinking might be worth trying was isolating the fisherman on that side of the canvas in a sort of "steelyard composition" by removing the background elements in that area - the other thing that i was thinking was to possibly desaturate the sky a bit so the red of the coat becomes the clear winner in the warmth department - feel free to ignore! - it looks great as is

EliaMurrayArt

@Kevin-Longueil that's a really good suggestion - I'll play around with it! I do see how that could totally increase the feeling of "aloneness"

@EliaMurrayArt The expanse of boats has a feeling of aloneness, too, as if the lake has abandoned them. It has a devastating feel to it that I think touches on climate change. With only three, it seems more accidental.

EliaMurrayArt

I am so so very much appreciating these comments!

Opinions? Votes? It's changed so much and it's been so exciting. I'm feeling a little illustration high right now. no rash decisions shall be made by me haha

baileyvidler

I'm personally feeling the bottom one. The bottom one puts a lot more space between each of the houses, which feels more isolated to me. I am obsessed with this piece!

Jeremy Ross

Hi @EliaMurrayArt, love them both, but the top one pulls me in more. To explain, the weight of the character is so heavy, it balances everything perfectly on the left. The old man demands our attention!

EliaMurrayArt

@Jeremy-Ross I think I'm going to have to agree - it makes the character stand out a lot more.... I looked at them both really tiny and I almost lose the character in the original composition.

This has been VERY informative!

EliaMurrayArt

@baileymvidler Thank you so so much!

I really like my original composition too, and I appreciate your point - after zooming out a bunch of times I find myself (a little reluctantly) pulled to the new composition because it does emphasize the character. Who I almost lose in my original composition.

I like the tension that the new composition creates - it's almost like the man is battling against the town... It makes me feel disjointed - like he's been away for too long and is not quite welcome into the new environment. Which makes me feel lonelier.

It's almost like the first composition is a couple steps later in the story - when he's come out of isolation, and is coming home... Where as the new composition is before that - and he's still alone.

at least that's what my brain is creating.

EliaMurrayArt

I wonder if there is a happy medium?

Sorry I'm spamming you guys... This is one of those illustrations that is just teetering on an edge and I can't seem to fall off into it.

@EliaMurrayArt Any way you go, it works. Not a bad place to be! I think it needs a whole picture book story written around it to be sure what these decisions mean. Do you write too?

EliaMurrayArt

@carolinebautista I do! I just struggle to finish anything hahaha but I am falling in love with the character and I have a couple other doodles that use him so perhaps there is a story there somewhere!

@EliaMurrayArt YES I DO THINK SO. lol. I have already titled your picture book Tree Boat, because the landscape goes from lake to desert to prairie to forest, and the fisherman keeps changing careers while his beard grows. So, yes, I hope you pursue this as a picture book.

EliaMurrayArt

@carolinebautista aw... I want to cry... it's a story about the environment changing and as he adapts so grows his beard. love and loss story but between and man and his home.