Is the concept working? updated

[Kevin Longueil]

Ok.. so there is a bird in the composition now... idea being Bongo would use that feather in the next illustration where he is tickling his way out of the alligator...do toucans, alligators, generic monkeys and all of these varieties of fruits exist together somewhere.... i'm thinking not. I still have a lot of drawing to do but i suddenly had a fear that maybe the monkey looks like he is being dropped by the toucan??? My local critique group (Wife, daughter, and son)feel like it looks like the monkey is grabbing a feather from the Toucan and diving into the alligators mouth which is what i am going for - looking for a fourth opinion if anyone has a moment

[LauraA]

I definitely see that he's grabbing and diving, from his folded hands and from the toucan's expression. Also he has that feather between his toes, obviously grasped.

[baileyvidler]

My first impression was that the commotion of the alligator jumping from the water startled the toucan, which caused it to lose a few feathers. Then, the opportunistic monkey grabbed them from the air. I feel like that still fits, though.

[Kevin Longueil]

Thank you all! I can stop worrying about it now
@gavpartridge @LauraA @baileymvidler

[Kevin Longueil]

@Kevin-Longueil Was able to finally work on the monkey today...i had a hard time coming up with a monkey's face that did not look creepy, like curious George, or like that Suuuper creepy wind up toy that smashes the cymbals together..anyone else having trouble with that - i think i Finally have a not so creepy monkey started

Lots left to do

[Chip Valecek]

@Kevin-Longueil I just hoped on today after a few days and missed commenting on your first one. I saw the monkey diving right away in that one. And on to this one, I always loved how you handle your values and technique. Looks great so far!

[Kevin Longueil]

@Chip-Valecek Thank you Chip! Always great to hear from you.

[Oriana Fernandez]

Love this composition! Missed commenting on the first one.

If it was part of Bongo's cunning plan to hitch a ride in Clyde's stomach to get to the other side of the river, and grab onto a bird feather to tickle Clyde just before diving into Clyde's mouth, then yes, this scene nails it!

The other way would be Bongo accidentally grabbing onto the bird's feather (probably while swinging from tree to tree) and falling on his back into Clyde's waiting open jaws. This would be an impromptu and accidental plan for Bongo!

I like the way you have bordered this scene with foliage at the top, and kept all the main players in a linear vertical sequence. The water splash looks like a lotus in bloom. But looks cool!

[Kevin Longueil]

@Oriana-Fernandez Thank you Oriana! The cunning plan angle is what i was thinking I was trying to add something unexpected to the text without breaking it too - Though "it was his plan all along" does seem like an obvious angle for this. Thank you for the feedback, it is always very helpful to me. I have a lot of work to do on the water still (also the alligator and toucan) I've drawn the water splashing up so many ways...it looks a bit busy at the moment. I had it shooting up nearly to the branches but it broke up the silhouette of the alligator too much and never looked as good with it as without it. So the splashes at the bottom are just those tall waves squished down..i'll work on it. Thanks again

[LauraA]

@Kevin-Longueil Love this monkey design!

[Kevin Longueil]

@LauraA Thank you Laura!

[Kevin Longueil]

Lots left to do ..especially with the water - and possibly some details in the foliage. Question for anyone that has the time...i'm trying to make the alligator a bit cheerful and slightly comical with the curved snout ..is it too curved?... also i made the edge of the alligator's mouth look more like a smile and it really changed the piece..not sure if it is in a good way or not - i keep going back and forth - anyways...any feedback would be very much appreciated

[Braxton]

@Kevin-Longueil The mouth feels a little too curvy for me, I think because overall the rendering/anatomy is pretty realistic otherwise? One other thing, for me the fact that the alligator's eye is looking straight out and not at Bongo makes him feel scarier and less anthropomorphized, like he's just acting on primordial killer instinct. That could totally just be me, though

[Kevin Longueil]

@Braxton Thank you for the feedback! Very helpful - I'll work on the snout a bit to reduce the floppy/curviness that is going on and shorten it back to the original shape...the original sketch did not bother me as being too curved for some reason...thinking i need to add a little thickness to the top of the snout to bring it back and make it less goofy ....Thanks for the feedback on the eyes too - that is exactly what i was going for with the eye!...(most of my work is slightly darkish

[Heather Boyd]

@Kevin-Longueil I think it looks like the toucan is a bit startled by all the commotion and/or the fact he just lost a feather. I do really like how you have included how the monkey got a feather.

[Kevin Longueil]

@Heather-Boyd Thank you heather! I was thinking he would need one in the alligators belly to tickle his way out but why the heck would he just happen to have one on him...not that these things need to make sense though