Society of Visual Storytelling

    SVSLearn Forums

    • Register
    • Login
    • Search
    • Recent
    • Tags
    • Popular
    • Users
    • Groups
    • Search

    need some fresh eyes as always :D

    Artwork
    9
    15
    520
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • Matthew Oberdier
      Matthew Oberdier last edited by

      I like it, are you doing the values next?

      Instagram.com/mattoberdier

      Tom Burchell 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • K.Flagg
        K.Flagg last edited by

        I would exaggerate her hair length on the right just a tad more where it lines up with papa bear...it's not quite a tangent but it's close. Great image though! This is going to be a great piece.

        K.Flagg

        Tom Burchell 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
        • M
          Mari1-9Munive last edited by

          I'm not sure if you're going to add color, or it is the finish work, but if you are planning to let it like this maybe it will be better if you add a black color to the little mouse, cause it is a little bit difficult to see at first sight

          Tom Burchell 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • Melissa_Bailey
            Melissa_Bailey @Tom Burchell last edited by

            @Tom-Burchell we need those fresh eyes, don't we? 😂

            illustrator - author - smiley person
            mbaileyart.com
            instagram.com/mbaileyart/

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • Tom Burchell
              Tom Burchell @K.Flagg last edited by

              @K-Flagg !!! Thank god for this forum! haha how did that get missed!!! Awesome spot ty!! :D!! Phew!!

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • Tom Burchell
                Tom Burchell @Matthew Oberdier last edited by

                @Matthew-Oberdier i sure am :D! All the way to colour. 🙂

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • Tom Burchell
                  Tom Burchell @Mari1-9Munive last edited by

                  @Mari1-9Munive yep going to colour just doing values atm so I managed to get mouse to pop 🙂

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • Asyas_illos
                    Asyas_illos last edited by

                    This is really great and I disagree I actually think the porridge on her face says a lot about her character.

                    Asyasewardillos@gmail.com
                    www.Instagram.com/asyas_illos/
                    https://asyasewardillos.wixsite.com/mysite

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • aska
                      aska last edited by

                      Porridge is cool , but maybe move it closer to her mouth? I am not sure about eyebrows tho...a bit too big and makes her bit angry? shouldn't she be more delighted? 😉 Overally very fun piece tho!☺

                      Aska
                      www.mugaska.com
                      https://www.instagram.com/mugaska/
                      https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/mugaska

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                      • Asyas_illos
                        Asyas_illos last edited by

                        I like the stories about Goldilocks that portray her as a hooligan, cuz she is! She has terrible manners as well as breaking and entering?!...

                        Asyasewardillos@gmail.com
                        www.Instagram.com/asyas_illos/
                        https://asyasewardillos.wixsite.com/mysite

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • carlianne
                          carlianne @Tom Burchell last edited by carlianne

                          @Tom-Burchell I love the composition and character design!

                          I’m kind of wondering about her expression though. Right now she looks kinda suspicious but she hasn’t seen the bears so I’m not totally sure what she is reacting to.

                          I’m wondering if it would be stronger emotionally to have her fully happy and ignorant, or to be looking more towards the bears like she just saw them and it is the moment right before she reacts

                          Is just a little unclear right now

                          Edit: I just saw the mouse, so maybe make sure that pops later 😂 but even then I’m not fully getting what emotion she’s expressing ❤️

                          Also, just wondering if the bears should be bigger? I think right now we see about the same amount of her as we do the bears, might be fun if it was more 1/3 girl 2/3 bears

                          So fun though, it’s going to be a great piece!

                          Check out my art and tutorials :)

                          Instagram: www.instagram.com/carliannecreates/

                          Youtube:
                          https://youtube.com/c/CarlianneCreates

                          Shop: www.carliannecreates.com

                          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • chrisaakins
                            chrisaakins last edited by

                            @Tom-Burchell Maybe you could do this with value, but it seems like I saw things in this order: Bears, Girl, Mouse. I think it should read Girl, Mouse, Bear to follow the story better. Brighter colors on her and more contrast on both her and the mouse would do it. The strong bIack dots of the noses and eyes of the bears draw my attention first because they have the strongest contrast. If the bears recede a bit with darker tones/values it would read better in my opinion, especially if you rendered her and the mouse with brighter more saturated colors. I agree with @carlianne about the expression. Maybe it could be more of a "huh?" look on her face, as in, what are you pointing at? Both eyebrows raised would do it, I think.

                            Feel free to completely disregard!

                            Fun story and character design. I look forward to seeing the end product.

                            Chris Akins
                            www.chrisakinsart.com
                            www.instagram.com/chrisakinsart/

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                            • First post
                              Last post