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    #pitmad #pbpitch feedback thread

    General Discussion
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    • HeatherBouteneff
      HeatherBouteneff last edited by

      Is anyone else doing these? Looking for feedback (and to offer mine to others) on my images and pitch. Last minute since one of them is tomorrow lol.

      Ode MacDonald Had a Phone
      Ode is overwhelmed by crows on her farm until some autocorrected texts by the animals send her husband on a wacky shopping spree for items that end up inspiring the perfect solution. #pitmad #pb #authorillustrator

      Not sure if I should add comp titles? Maybe Little Red Gliding Hood x Click Clack Moo
      D86BF117-FAB5-4925-9F0D-3FC68CC05492.jpeg Bouteneffpitmad2.jpg

      Kevin Longueil mag 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • RachelArmington
        RachelArmington last edited by

        Wow, you could include the comps and still be under 280 characters!

        I personally resist including comps, because I am cantankerous and feel as if an agent should be way more versed in marketing and current children's books than I am (even though I try to stay as current as I can). I also wonder if an agent will be turned off is a book they dislike is used as a comp. I think someone saying they don't like your comps would be as likely as someone not liking chocolate though.

        I think your first illustration conveys more of the story as far as setting and would catch someone's eye. The frog with phone, although it shows what is unique about your story, might take a few extra seconds to click in someone's mind. I guess what I'm getting at is that since you can pitch three times, I might suggest pitching barn-frog-barn.

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • KathrynAdebayo
          KathrynAdebayo last edited by KathrynAdebayo

          Hi, I think your story line is great! I’m interested to read the book and find out what solution they come up with! To pitch your story with more clarity through the pictures, I might add way more crows to the first image (I didn’t notice them at first, even after reading the text.) or change the point of view to make that the focus. The frog image might be enhanced by including a bar on the phone that shows words the frog might mean before sending the text (sorry, don’t know how to describe that well!) or show a jumble of letters instead of eieio. Also, it might be more clear that the frog sent the previous texts if the one from the husband was above one of the texts that the frog sent, but it wasn’t the “eiei” text. These are just conceptual ideas that may or may not be useful, but I hope that your pitch goes well! I’m rooting for your book!

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • KevinTreaccar
            KevinTreaccar last edited by

            Since you can post about a story three times, you should consider posting at least once with the picture and once without. Agents have methods to block links and sometimes images, too, so all with images might get you blocked from view.

            kevintreaccar.com
            instagram.com/kevintreaccar

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • Kevin Longueil
              Kevin Longueil SVS OG @HeatherBouteneff last edited by

              @HeatherBouteneff Hello Heather. What i am remembering from an incredible Storytellers Academy class titled "Submission Ready" is that including comps is super important." including something like "My book is written for children x years old who enjoy, comp title by x author, comp title by x author , and comp title by x author" is what i am remembering. The class was taught by two longtime editors from Chronicle Books. If i remember correctly, including comps shows that you understand the process and will give a hint that you might be easy to work with too. Also Editors have to pitch the books that they are interested in acquiring to other people... so having accurate comps for them is a very good start. I think i recall that including what the affect on the reader is is also something worth including in a pitch. Your pitch sounds awesome! I would read this book for sure!

              Portfolio: kevinlongueil.com
              https://www.instagram.com/kevinlongueil/

              KevinTreaccar 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
              • KevinTreaccar
                KevinTreaccar @Kevin Longueil last edited by

                @Kevin-Longueil I did a local SCBWI conference last month and the agreed upon line on comps was along the lines of: They’re not required, so don’t force them. But if you can nail them – especially with books published in the last 5 years – you’ll really impress the agent(s) because it shows a) you’ve done your homework and b) your book can sell.

                kevintreaccar.com
                instagram.com/kevintreaccar

                Kevin Longueil 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                • Kevin Longueil
                  Kevin Longueil SVS OG @KevinTreaccar last edited by

                  @Kevin-Treaccar I forgot about the comps needing to be recent. There were also gentle admonitions to be humble in your comps.. saying that your work will be the next Harry Potter or something of that nature was the example used as something to be avoided.

                  Portfolio: kevinlongueil.com
                  https://www.instagram.com/kevinlongueil/

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • mag
                    mag Pro SVS OG last edited by

                    Hi! I would like to chime in if that’s ok. 
I kinda can’t decide what image should I go with and since english is not my first language I’m very unsure of how the pitch sounds like? Does it have clear message and are there too many errors? Any feedback would be much appreciated! Thank you so much!

                    my pitch:
                    Meet Mike, the magical wish granting cat who can cough up two scooters, a chocolate cake and a cockatoo in one sitting. But, oh no!, something went wrong, the wishes are now stuck in his belly and it’s up to two elderly ladies to take action.
                    and pics:
                    spread.jpg mike.jpg characters.jpg

                    Mag
                    https://www.instagram.com/mag_takac/
                    http://mag.takac.name

                    RachelArmington 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • mag
                      mag Pro SVS OG @HeatherBouteneff last edited by

                      @HeatherBouteneff I love the premise! And personally I feel more connected to the second picture. 🙂 Since there's a cute character and a phone. But just my opinion. 🙂

                      Mag
                      https://www.instagram.com/mag_takac/
                      http://mag.takac.name

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • RachelArmington
                        RachelArmington @mag last edited by RachelArmington

                        @mag said in #pitmad #pbpitch feedback thread:

                        Mag, I love you style and color palette!

                        You can post three times throughout the day, but need to have a slight variation each time so that Twitter doesn't mark you post as spam...so you could use each picture on different pitches throughout the day, and that would be enough change AND people could see more of your art.

                        The only suggestion I could see is pretty minor, to add a hyphen between "wish granting" (so that it would be "wish-granting cat").

                        Good luck! As a cat lover, I would love reading your book!

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • KevinTreaccar
                          KevinTreaccar last edited by

                          If you have Twitter and are interested, you can help boost tweets with RTs.

                          I just saw Heather’s. Here’s a link:
                          https://twitter.com/hbouteneff/status/1400443334867525634?s=21

                          My first tweet is here:
                          https://twitter.com/kevintreaccar/status/1400439843809906691?s=21

                          Feel free to post Twitter links below and maybe we can all help boost each other. Just remember not to like any.

                          (Sorry if I’m hijacking this thread)

                          kevintreaccar.com
                          instagram.com/kevintreaccar

                          RachelArmington 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                          • RachelArmington
                            RachelArmington @KevinTreaccar last edited by

                            Mag's pitch is at
                            https://twitter.com/mag_takac/status/1400426903417274373

                            My pinned pitch is at
                            https://twitter.com/RachelArmington/status/1400422370712686593

                            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                            • KevinTreaccar
                              KevinTreaccar last edited by

                              A second tweet if anyone wants to RT:
                              https://twitter.com/kevintreaccar/status/1400497777503842308?s=21

                              Greatly appreciated if so.

                              kevintreaccar.com
                              instagram.com/kevintreaccar

                              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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