"star" WIP

Heather Boyd

@braden-hallett I love the idea of the kid grabbing hold of the fallen star or at least that's how I read it. Clever idea, it's got energy and excitement ("look at me, look at me, I've got a fallen star, hehehe!") and the colours are good start.

Melissa_Bailey

@braden-hallett great expressions and movement.

But I'm gonna agree with @KathrynAdebayo on this one -- the concept isn't clear.

Just looking at the picture, without knowing anything about the story in your head, there are a lot of questions for me. Why is the boy running away gleefully with a star in his wagon? How did the star get there? Why is there a smoking crater? Did the star make that crater? If so, then why is the star so small when the crater is so huge?

I do see the faint trail made by the star from the crater, but with the values the way they are, splitting the composition almost in half, there is a disconnect for me between the two.

Guess what I'm trying to say is: I'd love to see more story here, and for it to be more clearly communicated.

All this being said, this is a strong piece in terms of expression and drawing skill. I wish I had the control over value that you do!

braden H

@kathrynadebayo said in "star" WIP:

What's the story behind the volcano?

Time methinks to redraw things! The volcano is meant to be an impact crater from the star

braden H

@melissa-bailey-0 said in "star" WIP:

the concept isn't clear.

Better to know now than to discover it later after submission

Time to take another pass at the crater!

lizardillo

@braden-hallett ahhh, I see now. If there were some smoking stars visible and sticking out in the crater that would show what was going on. On another note... I would love to be able to draw human characters and expressions like you do!

braden H

@lizardillo said in "star" WIP:

If there were some smoking stars visible and sticking out in the crater

I like that idea! I'll see what I can do

braden H

Does register as a bit more a crater instead of a volcano now?

andreazupcsan

@braden-hallett This reads way more clearly! I love the perfect star indentation in the crater. It made me laugh.

braden H

@azupcsan Awesome! That's great to know Thanks!

braden H

Bigger star is better star! I think I may give the kid some oven mitts

KathrynAdebayo

@braden-hallett Looks awesome!

Melissa_Bailey

@braden-hallett YES! Concept is WAY more clear and I love the dripping star!

Is it still hot? Could it still be smoking or glowing? Love the idea of the oven mitts. Shows the boy's determination and ingenuity.

chrisaakins

@Braden-Hallett First of all kudos to the great silhouette of the main character with the reflected light on the rock face. What an ingenious way to solve this problem.

I wonder if the perspective of the crater is wonky. With it being raised so much it still reads as a caldera rather than an impact crater. What if you let the background ground extend more past the crater? or flattened the crater a little? I mean it still reads well and I am being a nitpicky ex-science person here...

Heather Boyd

@braden-hallett It hasn't been mentioned and I think it would help that perhaps the boy would be singed a bit after all he did grab hold and lift the star into his wagon, and if it has left little glowing parts behind it would have left something on him. I liked more smoke personally.

Georgios Christopoulos

@braden-hallett love this!the idea is phenomenal! I d seriously consider giving the boy an animal friend, to share his joy of finding this huge treasure.Shared joy is double the joy!!

braden H

@chrisaakins said in "star" WIP:

or flattened the crater a little?

I think that's probably my best bet! I'll do that

@heather-boyd said in "star" WIP:

It hasn't been mentioned and I think it would help that perhaps the boy would be singed a bit after all he did grab hold and lift the star into his wagon,

I'm thinking of adding some oven mitts! He definitely would be a tad singed I'll be adding the smoke back in once I've figured a few other things out

@georgios-christopoulos said in "star" WIP:

I d seriously consider giving the boy an animal friend

Perhaps some terrified wildlife still shocked by the blast from the impact?

braden H

Work progresses!

braden H

If not done it's close to done! I'm gonna put it away for a few days and come back to it

braden H

Okay, with some rim light NOW it's done

lizardillo

Amazing!