Critique Wanted: Storm Entry

Hi all! Like Chloe I'm also going ask for some serious critique on my Storm entry submission. It was my first time submitting, and while I thought it was fairly strong story-wise and technique-wise, there were also lots of other great pieces and mine clearly didn't make the cut. I would greatly appreciate any honest critique on the piece. Destroy me!

Some of my suspicions:

Story is still not clear enough. Or the different expressions on the different characters were confusing
Rendering of the rain and rain splatters was a bit too cartoony compared to the rest of the picture
Overly saturated colours or unrealistic lighting

Thanks in advance for your time and critique!

(Some process pics here: https://tanjunqi.art/portfolio/2022-05-25-stormy-reunion)

PenAndrew

@JQ I think the rendering is fine and I like this piece. My thought is maybe it is the relationship between the child and the otters and the expression on the child's face. Maybe this is a little ambiguous. I think any ambiguity is always probably weighed against clear storytelling.

I think the lighting suggests a sun set, and was maybe a little strong on the left side. Although it is very bright- the lightning on the right, on the child is a much lower value, so maybe that was an issue with the judges.

jdubz

@JQ I think the rendering is great and it has a lot of style. I don't think it's over saturated. The values look good so that shouldn't be a huge issue because they are consistent. Overall it's really good. I really do think it boils down to the story. Out of my own curiosity - what is actually happening here?

I'm just not connecting the dots on who the kid is, how he knows the otters, why is the light opening up on the left side, and what does the kids presence actually mean because the parents seem happy, but the baby is still sad. And if the baby otter is supposed to be friends with the kid, wouldn't the parents be protective of him? Or do they want him with the kid? Why does he have a fish?

Lighting: to go into lighting specifically, I think it's fine, but it goes back to the story - the lighting should play a supporting role in what's going on to help determine focus. Like, right now the lighting is pointing me to the left side to see one of the otters crying... with a fish... and I have no idea why hah.

For example, if you put the crying otter in the kids arms, and he was coming towards some parent otters that looked worried, we can connect the story right away.

ArtMelC

@JQ I don't think it's rendering at all. Other than story which the other 2 have mentioned above, you may want to consider the following:

The cropping can be less tight? Now there is not enough room to understand what's going on beyond the characters
Add more environmental clues for context. A building and some trees, street lights, whatever is relevant. Now it's hard to tell where they are. I think most of the top 16 work has pretty well established environment design.

Keep going. Jiayou!

ArtMelC

@Melissa-Candrasaputra btw I am also speaking to myself and my own tendency to crop too tightly and not give enough environmental clues. It's amazing how critiquing other people's art helps to open my eyes to my own shortcomings

PenAndrew

@Melissa-Candrasaputra Yes, I had this problem of not having enough space in my work. But my idea seemed to limit me so much in terms of space. If I dropped the cup in my storm in a tea cup image I would have lost that concept.

Katherine

The rendering on this is pretty great. I agree with everything that's been said about the concept. I don't understand what the relationship is between the otter family and the kid. Also I'm not sure what the stakes are — there are some heightened emotions, but about what? A storm shouldn't bother the otters, they're otters. They like being wet Also it's not entirely clear if the kid is excited or angry. And the father otter looks like he could be happy to see the kid (but we don't know why) or worried.

In terms of the composition I would definitely either open it up on the right side, left side, or both.

In terms of the design I feel like the otters skew realistic and the kid skews animation-stylised. They're both done very well but do feel like they belong to different illustrations.

Overall the rendering is really great but I'd get rid of those splashes or tone them down. They look like a halo right now rather than splashes.

Honestly, I think if you had've had a clearer concept this would have made it into the Top 16. Keep at it! I bet you got really close!

Kristen Lango

@JQ I quite enjoy the rendering of this image! Though then again I personally like high tone vibrancy. And I think you could get away with the sunset ambiguity if the story were clearer like you mentioned.

Some of the questions that pop up in my head are:
To where is the child running?
If he is running to the otters, why does he seem to be looking off into the distance rather than at them?
If he is coming to bring them an umbrella, one would think that umbrella he is holding might be much larger.
And other questions that I believe were already mentioned about the baby otters and the other animals in the scene.

Still a fantastic job with expression and rendering though! I struggle with a lot of these same issues in my work too - I often seem to think I have a good idea and then in the actual creation of the piece it ends up asking more questions than it answers.

But I do think that the classes here help to work through this issue. And know that you're not working through it alone

Thank you all for your critique and suggestions! Having a fresh eye look at your work really does help you see things more clearly.

I was definitely suspecting the storytelling issue most strongly, so thanks for validating that and pulling me out of my creative narcissism. Because, obviously, the story was obvious to me! But this is what happens when you're working with your characters for so long and grow attached to them. So I already have a whole backstory to this image with character relationships developed through previous stories, and I was sort of imagining this as an inset illustration in a chapter novel with a caption/paragraph below, something like.

"Mr. Otter!!! I'm coming!!" a high-pitched voice called out from the distance.
Mr. Otter turned his head sharply. Suddenly, the din of the rain and thunder, the wails of his poor young son, who was bawling and frightened by the sudden downpour, and the squirming of his little daughter next to him faded out from his mind. He could only keep his gaze riveted on the shadowy little figure moving quickly towards him, as hot tears began to roll down his snout and catch on his whiskers.
"Shan Shan, you've come...!!!"

So yeah, it's basically a reunion scene

But of course now I realize an illustration intended to be accompanied by text is not really the type of illustration suited to do well in this sort of competition. I think since I did comics in the past, doing illustrations that support the text and that are also supported by text is somewhat ingrained in me. I realize I will have to change that to fit the parameters of the contest.

Thanks for all the technical pointers too. I was slightly worried that Mr Otter's gaze didn't quite look like it was looking at the girl, and I think it could definitely be alleviated by looser cropping. The only excuse I have for the cropping is that I was thinking: maybe do an illustration that could work as a 9"x6" book cover. But by the end of it I kind of realized this was not very suitable as a book cover illustration anyway, although I didn't think of changing the aspect ratio by then XD

Time to pop over to some of the storytelling classes!

HeatherB

I like the rendering, your animals are so soft and touchable! I got a little lost in the sandal texture being like toes but that might be a me problem. The lighting added to confusion about the story, I did think the boy wanted to help them but I couldn’t tell from what. For some reason I think of otters as able to weather storms because they swim a lot. That’s not logical but I do lol. I thought maybe a fire or headlights, they had food so it wasn’t that. I want the colors to work somehow because they are so striking and go together well.