Kamari idea

Kristen Lango

I like the idea of a character having to move on emotionally because they've reached the end of an era, but I'm not sure that translates into this sketch.

My first impression was that I needed to read your caption to understand what was going on in the image.

But I think with some refining you could use this same idea and just figure out a way to make it read more clearly in a visual way.

Kristen Lango

@AngelinaKizz ah yes ^ what @Jeremiahbrown said haha that's more constructive than my previous comment

AngelinaKizz

@Kristen-Lango no problem! It definitely needs refining to get the story clearer.

Chantal Goetheer

@AngelinaKizz I meant traveling bag. My autocorrect interferred

AngelinaKizz

@Chantal-Goetheer oh ok! Sometimes I can’t tell which way the autocorrect took It. He does have a suitcase he’s dragging, but it’s also a very rough sketch

kirsten-mcg

@AngelinaKizz This is such a fun concept! It kind of has Monsters Inc vibes. I agree with @Chantal-Goetheer about giving the monster a traveling bag, suitcase, etc to indicate it's leaving. Also maybe changing up the pose a little? I think maybe having it standing up instead of sitting might help further the story. Like he's peaking in through the doorway for one last look at his child before he moves onto another.

Ladmireaux

i love this idea so much! great choice!!

AngelinaKizz

@kirsten-mcg thankyou! I'll play with his pose a bit, the idea was him slinking out from under the bed, which may show better when it's rendered, but maybe he needs legs and a sadder slump to his posture.

AngelinaKizz

@Ladmireaux thanks!

AngelinaKizz

Do you prefer the version where he’s oozing out from under the bed, or where he’s walking away? Walking away would obviously need work because he’s overlapping the kid, and I just cropped and moved him, as I was just trying the different
Pose…

Chantal Goetheer

@AngelinaKizz the walking comes across stronger, but I like the oozing better because it makes it more obvious it came from under the bed

AngelinaKizz

In doing some rendering I realized how centred the illustration is. Dang.

How does this set up feel? Is it still clear that he has to move on as his kid is no longer afraid of him?

Asyas_illos

@AngelinaKizz you could try to move the kid to the other end of the bed. The new comp looks good though, too.

AngelinaKizz

@Asyas_illos I feel like I’d need a wall for the kid to be at the other end of the bed. I’m kinda digging the new comp, so I’ll try fleshing that out and see if it ends up being better… or I’ll end up in a few totally different direction lol.

Ladmireaux

@AngelinaKizz You’re welcome!

…and… maybe because I feel no one can ever decipher my scribbles… i just wanted to let you know, I saw it all from the start. ️

Most definitely not that any of the constructive thoughts were negative in anyway, but, just cause sometimes it’s just nice to know ️

i cannot wait to see the finished product!

AngelinaKizz

@Ladmireaux awe thanks!
I love critique, whether good or bad... honestly we grow more from the "negatives" than everyone doting, so I'm never offended even if it seems harsh (not that anyone was harsh, we have an awesome community here). I don't appreciate rude, but bring on the nitpicking... I prefer finding all the things that can be improved on.

AngelinaKizz

It needs something, I’m not sure what, gonna stare at it for a bit, but if you see something off I’d love to hear it.

Chantal Goetheer

@AngelinaKizz this composition is really nice too. The teary eye & the suitcase in the background clearly say goodbye. And the stuffed toy also conveys well that the kid is not afraid of the monster

AngelinaKizz

So I’ve spent some time starting from scratch, and I’d love to have some feedback on comparison between this and the last version I posted, as well as if it feels too tight. I want that loose textured finish, but I also want that finished feel. Is the lighting ok? Does it feel like night time, without being too dark or muddy?

ArtistErin

@kirsten-mcg Yes I agree with this perspective, you know the look our parents gave us when we first moved out of the house, show that and show obvious evidence greater things are happening? The monster is about to go to Monster University LOL