Tight Deadline! New Book Project. Feedback Much Appreciated!

kirsten-mcg

@Elizabeth-Rose This is such a sweet story! I love how it's evolving. I think you've cleared up the part about building a new garden beautifully. It makes perfect sense to me now. And the part where the goats get in adds some nice tension in the middle. I think the ending is just perfect. I really don't have any critiques at this point. I'm excited to see how sketches progress!

Miriam

The rewrites look good & clear up the previous issues.

One question I have is: why are we looking at the two houses where it says, "But this spring was different. Mama had been sick all winter."?
(Also, the names of seasons—winter, spring, summer and fall / autumn—don't need to be capitalized.)

I like how the daughter is sitting by Mama's bed when she's looking through the seed packets. It shows that the mom has to stay in bed and rest a lot, but they can still do things together.

Elizabeth Rose

@kirsten-mcg Yey, that’s good to hear. I’m excited to start on the drawing and rendering too! Considering how much some of the story depends on the illustrations to explain whats happening, I feel like that will make things even more clear. I’m going to hold off one more week before I start on the thumbnails. Over Thanksgiving I plan to have a few more friends and family take a look at the story and get their input. This week I plan to draw up the character designs of little squirrels friends all decked out in their tea party gowns!

Hello @Miriam, Thanks so much for more of your thoughts. Your suggestions have been golden!
And yes, I can see how the two houses on the second spread would be confusing. The sketches don’t really explain them well at this point. The first house is actually the green house and the second house is the family home. I was playing around with the idea of little squirrel tending to the greenhouse on her own and potentially on the next render having Mama Squirrel peaking through a window from the family home. But I’m open to other ideas for this scene too if you have any thoughts on that.

And yes, I was wondering if that was correct in regards to capitalizing the seasons. I had a friend do some story edits and that was one of the edits she suggested. I’ll have to switch them back lol!

Yeah! That’s one of my favorite scenes now. The one with Mama Squirrel and Little Squirrel picking out seeds. Before that scene was added, I had several viewers suggest to have Mama Squirrel make an appearance in the center of the story. I think that new scene has helped the story a lot.

Anymore suggestions, comments or thoughts anyone?

Miriam

@Elizabeth-Rose Thanks, I'm happy my comments have helped!
A greenhouse sounds pretty but I think it detracts from the story, since the story is about the little squirrel making her own garden instead of working in the family garden.
It feels like the greenhouse is coming from nowhere, and doesn't connect to the rest of the story.

Maybe you could change the greenhouse to a smaller garden shed, and show the little squirrel pushing a wheelbarrow full of garden tools instead.

Elizabeth Rose

@Miriam Oh, now that is a cool idea! Garden sheds are usually interesting too. Or maybe I’ve just always had a fascination with them. Lol And I love the wheelbarrow idea too. I have a wheelbarrow in the “Here I’m Happy” book. It would be cool for the wheelbarrow to have a re-appearance in this one
I’ll play around with that idea. Thanks again!

I’m working on some character design for the tea party guests. Here is Ms. Bunny bellow.

Miriam

@Elizabeth-Rose said in Tight Deadline! New Book Project. Feedback Much Appreciated!:

Garden sheds are usually interesting too.

Yes, they seem like they could be full of all kinds of interesting & useful things.

kirsten-mcg

@Elizabeth-Rose she’s so cute!

Elizabeth Rose

And here is Miss Mousy Tidbit

Elizabeth Rose

Character design for Lady Skunk (she is the sassy friend)

ArtistErin

@Elizabeth-Rose Love all your characters!!

Elizabeth Rose

@ArtistErin thanks! They are fun to draw up

Elizabeth Rose

And here we have an introduction to Little Miss Lady Raccoon. I think I’ll try redoing her paws holding the parasol though. They seem not quite right to me. Anybody else feel that way too?

ArtistErin

@Elizabeth-Rose I found some images and thought they resembled somewhat the look you are after, would this help? If they were delicate and ladylike to match your character's demeanor that would make more sense I think.

Elizabeth Rose

@ArtistErin Oh, Thank you! Those are helpful!

Elizabeth Rose

And here I introduce to you. Miss Mulberry Gen. She is the rascally friend out of Little Squirrels friends.

Elizabeth Rose

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope it’s been a wonderful week.

I’ve not been able to figure out what to name Little Squirrel’s friend Miss little Sassy Sunk. So I’ve asked for suggestions on social media and I’ve gotten a wonderful collection of sassy names.

Here is the list I’ve picked and mixed from all the name suggestions:

Dandelion Pearl
Daisy Lace
Scarlet Bell
Violet Antonella
Holly Daphne
Gwendolyn Rose

Everyone feel free to vote your favorite name bellow! I will also be gathering votes from my social medias too.

Chantal Goetheer

@Elizabeth-Rose I like nr 2 and 6. 2 is the easiest to read out loud. I always find it hard to name. Our cat was called cat...

Jean Watson

@Elizabeth-Rose Daisy Lace gets my vote.

Elizabeth Rose

@Chantal-Goetheer Hahaha, your cat’s name is Cat? That’s awesome. I know, naming can be so hard sometimes.

@Jean-Watson Alrighty! Daisy Lace as two votes so far!

Chantal Goetheer

@Elizabeth-Rose haha yes. Obi wan Kenobi didn't stick . And at some point we had two cats and one was cat (poes in Dutch) and the other one little cat (poesje). Luckily we never had more than two.