WIP Treehouse on abandoned junkyard.

Dennis Spaans

I've been sketching since I saw the e-mail, I like the contest this month and finally have some time!

My entry will be about Little Carlos, who lives in an abandoned junkyard. Just before his father died, he made Carlos a treehouse out of scrap found in this junkyard just so Carlos can something call home. Carlos spends his time reading (and learning from) books found at this junkyard in full anticipation one day his mother will return... alt text

Still working on perspectives and filling the piles. Hope you (already) like it :).
Comments and suggestions are welcome!

Dennis

NoWayMe

@Dennis-Spaans Great composition! I would make the car in the foreground even bigger! Same for the pile on the left. To frame him a little better. Other wise, looks great!

Dennis Spaans

Hi NoWayMe,

Thanks for your reply and compliments. You are right about the foreground, I will alter that! Thanks

Spencer Hale

Awesome! Really great concept. Playing with some more extreme variations in size will help. I can also see how adding the right values and colors to this piece could really add to the mood.

I learned about using keywords more effectively in the illustration 1 class. This piece seems like it is really "hopeful" to me. think of that word or whatever keyword you can come up with as you map out the value and lighting on this piece.

Looking forward to the final piece.

Laurie

The setting in this one is so interesting and gives you so much room to imagine! - Can't wait to see the final!

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Dennis Spaans

Thanks for all the enthousiastic replies! I'm as good as done with my line work now. All that rests is shadows, contrasts and colors. I'm really happy with it so far. What do you guys think?
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Dennis Spaans

Now with shadows and contrast. Next step: colors!
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Dennis Spaans

@Spencer-Hale Thank you for your comment Spencer! I took it into account during the coloring part. Also my wife didnt like the original story so I altered it using hopeful as the theme. Hope you all like the final result:
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There is a bigger version available on my website:dscomics.nl

Dennis Spaans

@Dennis-Spaans After some good suggetions by Will Terry on the other thread, I altered the piece. It is not finished yet but I like it already. What do you guys think?
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smithdraws

@Dennis-Spaans I hate to be contrarian but the little guy feels crowded to the left side. If the focal point was the "tree" house alone then the change would make sense. I do think the perspective updates work. That's my two cents which is about what it's worth

Leontine

Super nice to see your process! I agree with @smithdraws, Its very crowded on the left side. The other comp worked better for me. Perhaps you can Punch him up with a bit of light round his silhouette?? One other thing, is it 'treehouse like' enough?

Dennis Spaans

Thanks for the comments, they are very helpful! I think I have the best of two worlds now. It was indeed too crowded on the left, and I missed the serenity of my first drawing. But the composition of the 2nd one I liked better, and having the perspective right. Also I like the bumper on the car, so I put that back in haha. I downed the pile on the left, moved Carlos and the lot somehow to the right to create more space. Im not 100% done yet, I need some highlights here and there, but the overal drawing and composition is final. I think... haha

What do you think?
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aska

@Dennis-Spaans now, it looks perfect

Dennis Spaans

@aska thanks!!

smithdraws

@Dennis-Spaans The composition on its face is working. I'm still drawn to the serenity of the original but great job man. Alot to be proud of.

Dennis Spaans

I think I'm done. I'm gonna let it sink a few days before turning this one in, but I'm quite pleased:
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Doha

Awesome! Great illustration and story.
I love the original drawing too. Good luck