Greatest fear - WIP

NoWayMe

Thanks everyone! Here is my semi-final sketch. Still have to put in the decorations and finish the pictures in the locker. Critiques are welcome

@nowayme This is great! The interaction between the characters are clear and interesting. My only critique would be of the teen in love. He looks worried but not terrified.

Jose Ramos

@nowayme Great composition, maybe the guys in foreground shoud to be bigger, or at least the head of the left one.

DOTTYP

Second one much better,I thought the first boy was being bullied (which would be a good fear) Great idea you have come up with.

tombarrettillo

looking good. I would open the locker boy's eyes, looking toward the girl (even though he can't see her because of the door; makes the connection better). Also, I would turn both boys' heads in the foreground to the left. I assume the one on the left is looking at the boy in the locker, but his head turned right seems unnatural.

DanetteDraws

@nowayme I love this! The concept is great, and the drawing itself is well done. My only criticism is of the guy spinning the ball on his fingertip. To me he looks like an adult rather than a teenager.
There were so many shy guys in my highschool. In my graduating year, three different guys signed my yearbook confessing they always had a crush on me but were too afraid to say anything. I was like 'awww - I wish you'd said something sooner!' And I was super shy myself, but still I was the one to ask guys to dance with me at school dances. haha The struggle is real.
Anyway - I can't wait to see it finished!

NoWayMe

This is what I have so far! Critiques are more then welcome

tombarrettillo

Looking good so far! As a graphic design, the small flyer stands out to me. Might make it larger to fill the width of the door, and taller to look more like a poster.

Tyson Ranes

@nowayme Excellent work! You hit the criteria bullseye.

Tyson Ranes

@tyson-ranes just noticed>>> basketball looks overly plain, if you could put some spinny line work or something that works with your overall style to show motion I think it would add an extra punch.

Eric Castleman

@nowayme this is so good! I love how you took the prompt and really played with the idea in a very different way.

NoWayMe

@tyson-ranes Yes! I was planning to do that

evilrobot

Great image. Very impressed that you have so many characters and are still able to have such clear story telling. Love it.

NoWayMe

Thanks everyone!!

It's almost there! (Still have to do the basketball and few touchups) I changed the background colors quite a bit, everything felt a little too green. Also, I played with some adjustment layers in photoshop to try to make my focal point clearer. Hope it's working better

Gary Wilkinson

@nowayme

Awesome work. There isnt much that I can add, but a few things that come to mind is that the 2 girls in the background are lit up and framed by the 2 guys in the foreground which makes me wonder if its a part of the story (if you cropped just that side of the image it could almost be a painting in itself). Perhaps if you darkened that area slightly and put some kids walking to their next class instead then it would put more impact on the left part of the story.

Also I feel like there should be more cast shadows. The lights are fluorescent so it would be very faint, but it might help ground the girl a little more

jasonandroosmith

This looks so good! I think you were the one that suggested svs to me! My memory is terrible, it was either on a Livestream or Instagram......anyway, thanks!

NoWayMe

@jasonandroosmith Instagram!

lmrush

this is so great, great job on the perspective and the color choices!

jasonandroosmith

@nowayme awesome! well thanks again for suggesting it!

julian beresford

@NoWayMe Your illustration style is really cool, I like the way you render and use colour too.