short comic WIP

Jonas Zavacky

Hi some panels from the second page... My question is - how do you look on that compared to the first page. Doesn't it feels different in drawings or do you feel it is okay? Or if you have anything to point out please do so Thank you!!

Nyrryl Cadiz

@jonas-zavacky this looks great but it definitely looks different from 1. First of all, your lines. In the first page the background lines are of a lighter value while your character has darker but in the second panel both the character and the background are of the same color/value. I suggest choosing which style you really want and sticking with it throughout the comic. Having uniformity is great for sequential art such as this. My second, critique is your character’s post as he runs into the forest in the second page, first panel. It’s as if he’s jumping sideways on one foot rather than running forward. There are tons of photo reference in google for this pose. Give it a try. I hope this helps. I can’t wait for more of your work.

Jonas Zavacky

@nyrrylcadiz thank you and thank you for your time and critiquing. Yeah that is what i though so thank you for confirmation! I Think I will give a try with the second one... the first page need rework anyways so :D.

O shoot i didnt see that with the pose. That is the beauty of sharing it so fresh eyes can look at it.

Jonas Zavacky

alright.. page 2 "done" - we are getting somewhere with the story.. I will have to do something with the panels in the forest so they read better, but I will share it in this stage... again! point out everything you have in mind thanks!

and its okay I share it this often? like per page? Maybe I will update with more workload from now on i don't want to bother you guys so often xD

oh and the last panel is in sketch form, but I like the dynamics of it..
0_1542871232973_pge 2.jpg

Kristin Wauson

These are all so great! I love comics. I have nothing helpful to say, but I hope you keep working on this and posting your progress. It’s really good!

Craig Imrie

Hello, the first page is really good and has a nice style, I really like the back grounds and how it's very faint looking (I'm sure there is a name for it but I'm self taught ).
I also feel the level of detail and the characters positioning is spot on.

But I feel that this is all missing on the second page, even from panel to panel the style changes.....for example the way you do the hair changes.

If you could do the second page like the first I think you may be on to something very nice indeed.

Also I'm new here so not sure of the rules but I'm happy seeing all work in progress and look forward to it.

Jonas Zavacky

@Kristin-Wauson Thank you so much! I will. Just maybe not so often.

@Craig-Imrie Hi! mmm I guess I`ll have to do some thinking again. I discussed this with nyrrycadiz in this thread and i though I will go with the style of second page ... but! As I am thinking about it while typing this.. for the purpose of the mood I am trying to depict and other reasons I will try the first one indeed but with some changes tho.

(yes you can say i am very indecisive hehe)

Thank you a lot for comment!

Jonas Zavacky

Hi there! last days I was working on sketching out the "full" comic (its just prologue). It's really rough, but at least I have something I can work on top of from.

I am not sure if its readable for you. I hope it is

So again don't let yourself back ! any comment appreciated
0_1543216505338_comics sketch.jpg

Jonas Zavacky

Greetings fellow SVS people.
I remade the first 2 pages + the third one I am just updating .. but again.. any comment appreciated!

Jonas Zavacky

another update.. next 2 pages. I spent a lot of time on the 4th page... the next pages should go smoother I think