Wip moment before feedback on ideas

marine

Following @burvantill 's feedback I have made quick changes on the Troublemakers one :

Chip Valecek

@marine I don't think you need to show expressions on all of their faces, but if you keep the girl and dog in the light and the rest in the background with a darker tone it would really pop.

Heather Boyd

@marine First off I like your "sketchy style" roughs -it helped grab my attention esp seeing your first work! I like the excitement in your first work- feels like a memory I would hold on to. Play with where those balloons are -maybe bring 1-2 close to the foreground if that works in your sketch.

I like the tension in the airport one. To push the story maybe she is alone and her other has run late and she is waiting all day/night for their return -then you can really work her expression.

I like the dog waiting for what it looks like his eagerness for a walk. Without changing to much of the composition maybe bring the camera angle down -I am thinking like jump into his arms kind of feel. That and maybe the door has only a window near the top for the dog to know he's come home and if the angle is low enough the owner doesn't realise their dog is there.

Number 4 the rain dance feels like it's happening in the moment and not before it. I would work on your story or create a story to get to that "Moment Before".

But thank you for sharing It has paid off for you and for us.

marine

@Heather-Boyd Thank you a lot! So great to hear all those awesome feedbacks!

True the cactus pic lacks of "depth". I'll try to bring some characters close to the foreground.

Airport pic : such a great story! Then I can let go of the other people (as I don't usually draw people ) and so she might go through excitement mixed with worry. No clue how I could render that though hahaha!!

Dog pic, thanks you're right more dynamism in the comp could help a lot to convey more emotions.

And I think I'll leave n°4 behind for now.

Thanks again for your great input!

braden H

@marine All neat ideas!

My vote is for #3. I think it'll be the easiest to bring to finish and has the strongest composition value-wise. It works really well with the dark silhouette through the glass door (you could pose the person to show fatigue after a long day, perhaps?) and the dark dog shape on the patch of light. Works really REALLY well.

I'll be interested to follow this one along

marine

@Braden-Hallett Many thanks!
Yes n°3 might work best with modifications advised and important point I won't have to draw a human face! hahaha! (not very brave of me )
I'll try to do another round of sketches quickly because then, getting into details and rendering is going to be a tough and long job!

bnewman

@marine Hi there, just jumping in to say I like no. 3 the best as well.

Erin.Cortese

I really like #3, great sense of anticipation!

Elizabeth Rose

I like the #1 a lot, its so funny, I love the expressions on the balloons. I also like #3 really well too. Its something everyone with a dog can relate too. It's sweet and makes me grin inside.

I really like your sketch style, your sketches get the idea across well. I love the flow and movement. You go!

I'm excited to see the progress

marine

@bnewman @ErinCortese @Squirrelsize Thanks a lot!
Yes seems n°3 works best, now onto refining the sketch...

marine

So I've worked on the n°3, the dog waiting, and here are a few new sketches.

N°1 is the original one
N°2, I changed the perspective point
N°3 an n°4, I've tried a paysage format with more of the dog's mess but I feel like the action is lost in too many details.

So I think n°2 is the best, as the master's shadow and the dog in the light make more sense to the action. Maybe the dog is not sure if it's going to be a walk or a punishment for the mess...

What do you think?

Thanks!

Erin.Cortese

@marine I love #2! Would like to see how the dog from number 1 works with comp #2. I think dog 1 communicates a little more clearly, it almost looks like dog 2 is tangled in his leash.

Heather Boyd

@marine

I like #3 the best with the dog's gesture and the rose off its base -but I find the rest of the scene busy. I like how the "mess" is in the foreground with the dog and the background lends more to the order of the owner. But I would avoid leaving the furniture to the right and left cut in half -I'd like to see more of the couch. I like #2 because it is an easy read.

Elizabeth Rose

Wow! those are all good. I really like #3. It seems to show more personality from the dog and the composition is more dynamic. My second is #2. because its simple and portrays the idea clearly.

Heather Bouteneff

I love the layout of 2 but I can almost see the wiggle butt in 3 and I love that, even though the place is a mess the dog is just like MY FRIEND IS HOME it's great

Susan Marks

@marine I'm with @Heather-Bouteneff --I really like the pose of the dog in #3. I:m ok with the mess--but I think that with the door open--the "moment" has occurred. How about combining dog from 3, with the still-closed door in #2? I think this concept is great for this prompt,

braden H

#2 hands down

marine

Thank you all for your feedbacks!

I've re-worked the portrait format one, with a un-tangled dog @ErinCortese

And did modifications on the paysage format with more of the sofa and less space on the right, with open door and closed door. @Heather-Boyd @Heather-Bouteneff @Susan-Marks

But I still feel that in the portrait format n°1 here, the idea is more clear, I agree with @Squirrelsize and @Braden-Hallett. I also like that the dog is sitting still like an angel despite its mess.

I guess now I need to refine my sketch and start rendering because time is flying!

Thanks again everyone, really appreciate your time and feedbacks!

MichaelaH

@marine Like nr. 1 the most

marine

@MichaelaH Thanks! Yes me too
Your little mouse profil pic is so cute!!