Society of Visual Storytelling

    SVSLearn Forums

    • Register
    • Login
    • Search
    • Recent
    • Tags
    • Popular
    • Users
    • Groups
    • Search

    Destroy me.

    Serious Critique Requested
    6
    9
    894
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • Kevin Cochran
      Kevin Cochran last edited by

      Heya all, recently i decided i need to return to working on my fundamentals and such so after going through the drawing everything course and working on the exercises abit i started working on this.

      The goal with this is post it and have you all tell me everywhere i went wrong and things i should be looking out for or work on as i continue to practice. (I've noticed a few fudge ups already but I'm probably missing alot)

      it was done with pencil, micron, no ruler and the grey was added digitally just for some contrast (cause the scan didn't pick up the pencil shading), it was scanned at UPS so the quality is a little meh overall on my lines.

      so yeah, any critical feedback in regards fundamentals primarily is greatly appreciated.

      walrus vikingssml.jpg

      chrisaakins 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • chrisaakins
        chrisaakins @Kevin Cochran last edited by

        @Kevin-Cochran so here goes...
        You have created a tangent with the walrus guy and the lodge. You need to move one or the other.
        Your line weight is all over the place. As a general rule, the thicker the line, the more emphasis you have. It also messes with perspective. A thick line implies close proximity to the viewer. For example, look at your arrows. The closer ones should be thicker lines but they look about the same.
        It does read well as a story, though. Your world building is spot on and believable.

        Does that help?

        Chris Akins
        www.chrisakinsart.com
        www.instagram.com/chrisakinsart/

        Kevin Cochran 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
        • Coreyartus
          Coreyartus Moderator last edited by

          @Kevin-Cochran , just so you know, I changed the Topic Category of this post to "Serious Critique Requested". I think you'll get more appropriate response that way.

          My biggest concern is the visual balance of your walrus characters... I understand the theory behind making the characters heavier on top, but given that the realistic nature of the rest of the drawing implies a certain attention to detail, I wonder if the top-heavy nature of the warriors contradicts that... That's just something that stuck out to me.

          Your wood texture is lovely!! Do you plan to continue this in color?

          Children's Illustration Portfolio: https://www.coreyartusillustration.com
          Art Portfolio: https://www.coreyartusimagery.com
          Mastodon: https://mindly.social/@Coreyartus
          Pixelfed: https://pixelfed.social/Coreyartus

          Kevin Cochran 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • NelsonYiap
            NelsonYiap last edited by

            I think it's been mentioned but there is the big tangent between the roof and the front walrus which is distracting. There's also some smaller ones against the belt on the walrus in the background too. The walrus in the back has the same line weight as the front walrus which flattens the image. The sketch itself is inconsistent, there's a cartoony fish head on the second cabin but then really realistic fur on the walrus's mustache and realistic clouds/trees. The piece seems to lack composition, as my eye is dancing all over trying to find something to focus on but that can be easily solved eg. using arrows pointing to the main walrus? Also to achieve more depth you might want to either reduce the detail in the things in the background or lighten their lines. We normally don't see that much detail for things in the distance.

            These are all fixable. So don't give up 🙂

            www.nelsonyiap.com
            www.facebook.com/nelsonyiapart
            www.instagram.com/nelson.yiap

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • Kevin Cochran
              Kevin Cochran @chrisaakins last edited by

              @chrisaakins for sure

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • Kevin Cochran
                Kevin Cochran @Coreyartus last edited by

                @Coreyartus no I've never been a color person and am focusing mostly on lines and fundamentals currently.

                1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • lmrush
                  lmrush Pro SVS OG last edited by

                  You have a really great handle on perspective and composition. were you planning on taking this to color?

                  Lisa Rush
                  www.lisarushgallery.com
                  www.facebook.com/ArtbyLisaRush/
                  www.instagram.com/lisarush11/

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • Kevin Cochran
                    Kevin Cochran last edited by

                    Thanks all, I'll be adding all these to my watch out for list.

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • sarahlawrence
                      sarahlawrence last edited by

                      I think you need to sort out the weight distribution for the walrus characters, the main one looks like he’s floating.nI’m doing the tutorial ‘posing characters’ I think that would help with your characters.

                      Love the dead walrus, I’d like to see who they’re raiding, I can’t tell who’s attacking/ who’s defending or if they’re all attacking.

                      I really like the details, like the dead fish motifs and the shells with the Thor’s hammer. I don’t think you need as much detail in the distance as it just ends up pulling focus to the wrong places.

                      Hope this helps 🙂

                      https://www.instagram.com/artshouldsqueak

                      https://www.facebook.com/artshouldsqueak/

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • First post
                        Last post