December contest WIP as is tradition. Feedback always appreciated :)

BradAYoo

I love this so much! There are so many things screaming awesome with this piece. The plan to off the ol' lady, the trail of mousetraps showing that this is a continuous problem, the 'perspective' choice and how the top/bottom warp through the ceiling, down to the colors and color scheme. This is a great start and I cannot wait to see where this goes.

Feedback is minimal really:

I love the heavy lines and jowls that emphasizes how old the lady is. Someone mentioned they didn't notice she was a 'she' at first. I think the lips could use a little more punch but I feel like you have the right plan with the curlers. They are a great way to show that its a woman and will show after cleanup.
The light-bulb is vital to showing that the warped part is a ceiling and meshing the two areas, however I don't like the center placement. My eye wants to go to the mice but I keep getting drawn to the strong silhouette of the light socket.
I think that the warping of the ceiling is a little too wide on both ends. I want to see those mice feet.

xin li

@Braden-Hallett I love your idea and the story. Love the details in this piece: the rat traps on the floor, and the drawing behind the rats. It helps to communicate the story so much.

I also felt the light bulb does not add much to the story, and being a bit too prominent on this image.

I would also try the idea of adding a few pictures on the wall to show the personality of this old lady.

braden H

@BradAYoo said in December contest WIP as is tradition. Feedback always appreciated :

I want to see those mice feet

Mice feet are indeed essential I'll see what I can do! Thanks for the feedback

braden H

@xin-li said in December contest WIP as is tradition. Feedback always appreciated :

I also felt the light bulb does not add much to the story, and being a bit too prominent on this image.

I think I may try moving it over to one side or another Out of the centre line but still in the picture

Meta

@Braden-Hallett I claim to be a pretty fast drawer, but when it comes to perspective ... I just take looong. Maybe this is due to my perfectionism ...? You have the same problem?

braden H

@Meta said in December contest WIP as is tradition. Feedback always appreciated :

@Braden-Hallett I claim to be a pretty fast drawer, but when it comes to perspective ... I just take looong. Maybe this is due to my perfectionism ...? You have the same problem?

It doesn't take me long at all, actually. I'm pretty good at putting things into perspective and having it 'pretty good' (good enough for no one to notice or care unless lookin' real close). My problem is that my innate need to have things follow perspective rules means I miss out on a lot of compositions that look really cool but don't make sense with literal perspective So this time I'm kinda trying to ignore them.

braden H

I'm much happier with this one so far. I'm gonna make a few more tweaks with the colour and value (and I'll be doing some design exploration on the granny) but I much prefer the candlelight and the lightbulb off to the side

Heather Boyd

@Braden-Hallett only one tangent I see Braden is where her ladyships knuckle matches with the crown moulding on the floor.

braden H

@Heather-Boyd It absolutely does! Her ladyship must rectify the situation

Thank you for the catch!

Heather Boyd

@Braden-Hallett that and the picture frame corner hitting the light ray - I was rushing to get to the live critique.

braden H

I think I'm almost ready to start painting. Thanks everyone for the feedback so far!

I'd love some specific feedback at this point if anyone cares to do me a solid

-Do the colours feel harmonious?
-Is the purple poison bottle too overpowering and does it look like a half full translucent bottle?
-Does the bottom scene look like a dark room and is granny's skin colour too warm (I like the super red nose, but understand if it's too much)

Thanks again for the feedback! I can't imagine doin' something like this without help

ZeeZeeMonster

@Braden-Hallett I love where you're going with this one. The super red nose is a bit nuch, it almost looks like it's glowing by itself . . . but I wouldn't get red of that color altogether, since it helps to connect the room below with the attic above (my two cents)

KathrynAdebayo

Hi Braden! As usual, I love this piece. Your creativity is really at a whole other level, and to me it’s phenomenal.

As I’ve been admiring your work in progress, it came to mind that the bed looked really close to the ceiling, like she was on a top bunk, but this dear old lady doesn’t strike me as the youthful type who would climb up a ladder to get to bed every night. I’ve never done a paint over before because I suppose I never thought myself in the tier of artists professional enough for that sort of thing, but then I remembered my first ever SVS forum thread where someone did a draw over of my WIP, and it meant a lot that they took the time to do that. So, here is an attempt to pay it forward and to share some ideas that came to mind for perhaps making your composition look a little more natural. Also, it occurred to me that the light rays might be coming through the floor boards if they’re making stripes on dear lady’s face like that, and that they would probably come down in perspective from an approximate-floor-board distance apart.

All the best, and thanks for sharing your process.

Heather Boyd

@KathrynAdebayo This brings a lot more of the warmth down along with the addition of the light reflected off of the lightbulb.

braden H

@JoannaH I'll tone it down a tad! Thanks for the feedback

braden H

@KathrynAdebayo said in December contest WIP as is tradition. Feedback always appreciated :

but this dear old lady doesn’t strike me as the youthful type

m'lady was once a well-renowned olympic gymnast. Vaulting into a bed 6 feet off the ground every night keeps her spry (and away from the murderous mice) :smiling_face_with_open_mouth_closed_eyes: joking

I like a lot of what you did with the drawover! Thanks so much for that (I know they take time). The lady looks much more at home in your drawover and gives more room for bedroom props (dressers, more traps, etc) I'll totally incorporate that. I'm not sure why I was stuck on a larger lady compositionally, but this does look better

Those rays of light may get axed overall. With the flashlight they made a lot of sense, but less so with the canlde. Though your drawover's given me some ideas on how to keep them

Thanks so much again! All this feedback is gonna make one heck of a portfolio piece (I hope, lol)!

aprilshin

@Braden-Hallett I love seeing your process, Braden! Thank you for sharing it with us because it helps me learn, too. I love that you changed the flashlight to a candle and that the lightbulb was moved to the side, and that the master plan drawing was changed to a simple bottle of poison. It makes the story clear and easy to read!

I thought it would be a fun detail to add like a cup of water next to her on a nightstand to show where they would put the poison. Or somehow show that they've already put poison in her cup.

Amazing work as always!

KathrynAdebayo

@Braden-Hallett Oh of course! She certainly looks dedicated enough to be a gymnast. You could show her vaulting pole in the corner . Haha...

I see what you mean about the candle vs. flashlight. Looking forward to seeing what you do. And I like the glass of water idea mentioned above.

braden H

@aprilshin said in December contest WIP as is tradition. Feedback always appreciated :

thought it would be a fun detail to add like a cup of water next to her on a nightstand to show where they would put the poison

That is an aewsome idea! I'll see what I can do to fit that in during the sketch! I may keep my secondary story to the cat paintings, we'll see.

If I could go back in time I'd build that glass of water in along with a set of stolen dentures in the mouse realm, lol. Thank you for the input!

braden H

I think it's time to start sketching Now I get to play around with character design and stuff.

The reason I did such a detailed mini painting before even doing the sketch is because it's on the colour and light (and therefore the value) stage that I always fall flat and get frustrated. I'm trying to move that stage of frustration up in my process so that it happens when I'm still very rough so I can play around with major changes and crazy lighting in a fairly non destructive manner.

And now I can look over at the minipainting and go 'remember, it's supposed to look like THAT'. Keeps me reigned in.

Thanks again for everyone's input so far