Society of Visual Storytelling

    SVSLearn Forums

    • Register
    • Login
    • Search
    • Recent
    • Tags
    • Popular
    • Users
    • Groups
    • Search

    Critiques welcome - WIP

    Artwork
    10
    15
    710
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • Laurel Aylesworth
      Laurel Aylesworth @demotlj last edited by

      @demotlj This is a brilliant idea. I'm going to give it a try!

      www.laurelaylesworth.com
      instagram.com/laurelaylesworth

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • Braxton
        Braxton last edited by

        I really where this is going! Is it attached to a specific story or just suggestive of one? One note on the composition: there are a lot of lines parallel to the edges of the canvas, ie perfectly horizontal or vertical, which can flatten things out. It might be worth trying to nudge the perspective to get lines that are slightly diagonal and see how it feels.

        Laurel Aylesworth 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • Laurel Aylesworth
          Laurel Aylesworth @Braxton last edited by

          @Braxton Yes, I totally agree. Going to play around with getting more depth in the next iteration.

          www.laurelaylesworth.com
          instagram.com/laurelaylesworth

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • xin li
            xin li last edited by

            I love the mood of this image, very intriguing.
            I notice the image seems to be equally divided with a line in the middle, which made the image look less dynamic. I am not entirely sure if that is intentional.

            Web: www.lixin.no
            IG: www.instagram.com/lixin.illustration/

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • I
              IanS last edited by

              I love the idea. It's really sweet! I agree with @xin-li about the centre line created by the light and dark. I would also suggest having a chair or small table in front of the painting so she has something to climb onto to get back into the painting rather than having foot prints on the wall. I know this is a prompt but if you wanted to make the footprints paint footprints (As she's a painting) I think that would cool. This is a great piece!

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • Laurel Aylesworth
                Laurel Aylesworth last edited by

                I'm exploring another layout for this idea (also including snow tracks instead of mud), but I'm not sure if I should pursue this option or just work on the first one. Thoughts?

                tracks2.jpg

                www.laurelaylesworth.com
                instagram.com/laurelaylesworth

                Kevin Longueil 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                • Kevin Longueil
                  Kevin Longueil SVS OG @Laurel Aylesworth last edited by

                  @Laurel-Aylesworth I like this and the original too but his one gave me a thought of how to possibly tie it a bit closer to the prompt - from this perspective it would be easy'ish to make it an outside/inside shot - having the fellow with candle be on the porch outside where there could clearly be snow and through the open door we could see the painting and the footsteps going in. just an idea and feel free to ignore 🙂 I'm looking forward to seeing where this ends up

                  Portfolio: kevinlongueil.com
                  https://www.instagram.com/kevinlongueil/

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                  • TessaW
                    TessaW last edited by

                    Both versions look lovely, but I really like where you were going with your first version. It feels more mysterious and puts me more into the scene. There's more anticipation for the boy turning the corner and I love the looming quality of the portrait. I really like @carolinedrawing's suggestion of having the footprint on the frame, like she's climbing into it. If you want to keep more to the snow theme, I think @Kevin-Longueil's idea would definitley work and you could probably even keep the composition of the 1st idea if you wanted.

                    Just my two cents. I love the mood and idea behind this. So cool!

                    Website: www.tessawrathall.com

                    Instagram: www.instagram.com/tessawrathall_art/

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • romy
                      romy last edited by

                      Hi, same here; love the idea, spirit and atmosphere, thumbs up! 🙂 Story-wise I'd prefer the first composition to the second one, because of the "sneaking up" vs "sneaking down", i.e. he's sneaking up on her, but it isn't threatening, more curious, wondering, maybe a little afraid, but mostly curious, while sneaking down gives me a more prohibitive, "threat looming" feel and I prefer the first 😛

                      One thing about the first that caught my eye in the first glance was the stark contrast of the chandelier over the boy. Value-wise it's just as strong as the contrast of the boy's head-to-face-to-candle-light, so the eye jumps between the two and detracts from the main actor. Perhaps you don't need the chandelier lit up, seeing that he has a candle anyhow, or you could put those old glass blobby glass-thingies around them that dim them and maybe darken the whole area towards the ceiling in the staircase. But really like the story, character design and feeling in that image!!

                      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                      • Laurel Aylesworth
                        Laurel Aylesworth last edited by

                        You guys are awesome.

                        www.laurelaylesworth.com
                        instagram.com/laurelaylesworth

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • First post
                          Last post