Picture book spread critique

[xin li]

@eriberart I am starting to prepare for the Bologna book fair from this week as well. It would be lovely to meet you at the fair.

[Carrie-Anne Brown]

@eriberart As other people have already said, a bit more chaos and the teacher a little scarier. Paper and pencils could be falling from the girls hands too, to help show the movement of her being lifted. The colour palette is lovely

[IanS]

It's a really lovely style and I like the story concept! The only thing I can think to add is the teacher looks like she has one arm. You could have her holding another child with the right arm ready to eat them next. Something like this Quentin Blake piece. Good luck with the Bologna book fair!

[eriberart]

@xin-li Yes that would be lovely! I'll be there for the first 2 and a half days
@Carrie-Anne-Brown Thank you! Yes I like the idea of adding more chaos and things falling from her hands!
@IanS Thanks! Haha yes she does look like she has one arm, I never noticed I will have a play around tonight. I love that Quentin Blake illustration, the children's expressions are perfect hahaha

[eriberart]

I've taken everyone's feedback on board and made some changes

[theprairiefox]

@eriberart I like the changes. The additional kid adds a lot!

One thing I might suggest is to lean into the idea a little more. @Lee-White keeps saying go overboard and then dial back if you need.

If you had the kid over the teacher's open mouth I think you would communicate the fear of getting eaten more. Without you saying that I would not have gotten that the teacher is going to eat the kid. Or you could have the teacher licking its lips. Something to make us think it is hungry!

[eriberart]

@theprairiefox Thanks! I've been staring at this piece so long I think I need to step back and look at it with fresh eyes in a couple days I'm always scared of over-working pieces!
There will be text when I'm done, something along the lines of "The teacher thinks children are scrumptious", or "The teacher loves to eat children," etc, but I would like it to be clear without the text too so I'm going to try and exaggerate the teacher and her mouth and teeth a bit more

[KaraDaniel]

@eriberart this is great. I love the color palette. I think you could push the girl in the bottom lefts expression a bit more to show how scared she really is. The teacher as well could have a more open mouth to really feel like she wants to eat them. But I don't think you'll really need text if it just becomes really clear she's going to eat them. Great work!

[eriberart]

@KaraDaniel Thank you! I will try and push these things a bit more It's a spread from a dummy book I am working on!

[KaraDaniel]

@eriberart cool! I'd love to see it. If you would like to share it please do