March WIP: Critiques appreciated...

Chris Philpot

Any input from you all on what is and is not working would be so helpful.

Content-wise, I'm hoping to work in more stuff (rattling metal sign attached to the tree, broken swing with metal chains from the branches, maybe some distressed squirrels.)

Those things falling out of the tree are the beginnings of pecans or acorns. I'm definitely out of my comfort zone here but looking forward to getting better.

Thanks!

TessaW

This post is deleted!

Nyrryl Cadiz

@Chris-Philpot are those seeds hanging by some threads or are they falling?

nwaller

Overall I like the perspective and the look of the image.

BUT... what is the story? Why is the chicken looking scared at the owl? Why is the owl making loud music and looking so angry? Is it a concert? Did the owl get the guitar for her birthday and is now practising? Shouldn't the owl be sleeping during the day?

I really dont understand whats going on and why. what shouldnt be a goal with an image. You really could try to weave some storytelling in there.

Chris Philpot

@nwaller Aha, the story is not clear is it. I pulled this out of a dummy I was sketching but it doesn't make sense out of context.

Basically there is a night owl that lives next to a rooster. The night owl is obnoxious all night, making noise, playing music etc. But the exhausted rooster gets his revenge as the owl is going to sleep in the morning with his cockadoodledoo.

It feels forced to fit the March prompt right now. Will take a look at it again with story as the focus. Thanks!

Chris Philpot

@Nyrryl-Cadiz Thanks! Those falling things are the beginnings of acorns. But, yeah, they look super weird at the moment.

nwaller

@Chris-Philpot Thats what I thought. It looks more like an image from an ongoing story ... and I really thought its daylight.

But as I said, I like the perspective and the general style of the picture. Why not take the image and do some minor changes, like adding more night active animals doing wild music together and somewhere is a tired looking squirrel or rooster.

Chris Philpot

@nwaller Yeah, I started much darker and then went way lighter. So it does feel like day now. Really good to have objective eyes on it. I'll keep going and post the next version. Thanks again!

Marc Osborne

An immediate read, I have to agree that is felt like a middle scene, but i think it still is succesful in composition and color scheme. I wonder if white lines for sound and the falling acorns would be better then the red. I think you could show the rooster being more tired looking, bags under the eyes, lidded, more haggered. And if the sky was showing a just after sunset or moon rising it might imply the transistion betwen night and day.

Nyrryl Cadiz

@Chris-Philpot i see. Well, for now, the biggest issue I’m seeing are the motion lines of the acorns. Perhaps don’t draw them so long from the branch to the acorn. You could just draw maybe a couple of motion lines near the acorns. Aside from that, I don’t see any glaring issue. Great job. I love your characters.

Chris Philpot

@Nyrryl-Cadiz Thanks again. Looking forward to revising. Love your work by the way. Great use of color and light in your portfolio.

Chris Philpot

@Marc-Osborne Great ideas. I'll play with these and I think it will push it towards a more coherent read. Thanks!

Marc Osborne

@Chris-Philpot you are welcome! I realky do like the piece. Great characterization of the owl!