WIP - March Feedback Sneezy Monster

carlianne

Hi all! I'm thinking about doing something like this for the monthly prompt.

I would love to know a couple of things!

Is the story clear? (The monster sneezing is the cause of destruction.)
Any suggestions or comments on composition?
Is the placement of the text okay? I felt like I wanted to see the "aaahh" before him and the "chooo" afterwards, but I'm not sure it's working.

Happy to hear any other feedback!

Neha Rawat

@carlianne This is so cute! I love the exaggerated poses!

I saw the "Choooo" first but since it's obvious that the monster is sneezing so I automatically found the "aaah" part also. I think it works!

carlianne

@Neha-Rawat thank you so much Neha!!

TessaW

Super cute! I think everything is working. If I'm being super picky, maybe raise the last H in aaaahhh just a hair. I think it will flow nicely with the rest of the letters and convey the inflection of aaahhhh even more.

Nice concept!

carlianne

image (1).png

Continuing to work through this one. I wanted the yeti to make snow when he sneezes, would like to know if that's clear! Should I add more toys or stuff around the scene?

This is my rough color pass, will clean up and detail and some shading.

@carlianne This is so cute. I only noticed the snow on the chair and ottoman after reading what you wrote and looking for it. The snow might show more if you had a different wall color.

Some very little things: I had to look at the girl a little longer to see that it was a dress over pants (my guess is that this wouldn't be a problem once you refine it, but for now it's not reading as easily) and the yeti's horn closest to us is crowding his pink cheek a little.

I love the little framed portraits of the two characters.

It's so cute.

carlianne

@carolinedrawing Thank you so much!! For this piece I'm trying to keep the full bg white intentionally, but I can see what else I can do to make the snow pop more! And great points on the horn and dress, I'll refine those next!

theprairiefox

@carlianne I love the energy and subtle colors of this piece.

I wonder if you could use the photos to show the direction of the sneeze better. Everything else is moving away from the sneeze but those. Might look odd, but worth a try...

carlianne

@theprairiefox oh interesting! I'll try it out.