April WIP - failed MASCbot
-
@Aaron_T Nice idea. Here a few quick thoughts I had.
-
If he is supposed to be playing in the backyard you might want to change up the background a bit. Maybe have the dad hiding behind bushes and watching. Like a nature observer or something. The background seems pretty staged to me right now.
-
The dad is very close to the edge. Giving him a little more breathing room might feel better. Not 100% sure but something to try.
-
Right now the boy's eyes are pointing the viewer off of the page. If you pointed them toward the dad (pleading) or at the robot (in astonishment) they would lead the viewer around the picture instead of off.
Just some thoughts, take or leave them...
-
-
Thanks @theprairiefox, makes total sense about the boys eye focus...his line of sight was where I was going to have a football or baseball or something, but I like the idea of sideways glance back at his mom like "you're just going to let this happen?!?" I started with a baseball but I didn't want to confuse the shape with the little robot character, so either a football or maybe a paper airplane. Something he can play with solo.
The background is still being built up, eventually the patio will have the door, windows, some plants, etc. I wanted to see what it would look like if it were in a wide open space, hence the weird parking lot look. But yeah, that's a strange place. Good call on moving mom away from the edge too - I started out with a wider format and cropped it into a square. Thought about putting her in a patio chair, but I want to make sure the clipboard is easily seen. If I brought her closer to the action do you think it would be enough to be able to get her to sit down?
-
Updated this a bit. Don't think the light stucco house is the way to go on here...makes the composition too beige. Maybe a yellow or light blue? Around here all the houses are beige so I'm at a loss
-
-
I've decided I don't really like this idea any more. It takes too much explanation, and unless I was also the author of this particular story I can't really get it into one frame. Plus, without looking like the bot is doing harm to the kid its really just doing its job, so I'm going to scrap it.
Decided to go with something easier to get in one pass: giant robot destroys barn. Simple story, needs very little explanation.
Going to work on chickens or something else in the foreground, maybe an old farm truck might be fun, etc. Also, can't decide if I want Lisa just walking up and discovering the scene or walking away from it.
-
@Aaron_T I like the destroyed barn idea.
But when I look at it I think, how did it get inside to break out?
I wonder if you had it sit on the barn and crush it if the story would read better? Or you could have it sitting on the barn like Lisa sits on a tractor or something? Have it mimicking Lisa?
Just a thought.
-
@theprairiefox Thanks! The idea was that she put him together inside the barn, but when he sat up and stretched out he went through the structure. It's not a great concept, but its where I'm at now. Was going to make him out of tractor parts, so it would put his origin story in the barn, but then I realized I don't know that much about tractors so it would be difficult to de- and then reconstruct the idea.
-
Oh, I know, how about I redraw this thing three times the last day of the month! Because itโs not like Iโve been home going nowhere for the last six weeks
-
@Aaron_T I like it! I think the idea communicates much better.
-
Might actually get this posted before midnight!