Do you want independence, or independence while supporting yourself with art? I’m sorry you’re feeling down, it looks To me like your expectations are really high, which leads to a bigger disappointment... get a day job, there’s no shame in making a living with a not art related job. Working as an illustrator is hard and long road, and there are almost no shortcuts. It took me about 4 years to be now able to have a steady income with illustration only and I STILL don’t have an agent, my portfolio isn’t perfect and I have a lot to learn. So don’t worry, you’ll get there, just don’t give up, keep your sanity while working hard on your illustration skills and don’t rush it. A year of trying is really not a long time (I know it is, for you, but not in general and it doesn’t mean you’re not good enough). It will get better!
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• jthomas